Muslims Is the Kwaziest People!

B4B readers may wish to buckle their seat belts before reading further, because this story made me fall out of my chair.

Muslim scientists and clerics have called for the adoption of Mecca time to replace GMT, arguing that the Saudi city is the true centre of the Earth.

Hahahahahaha! I know Saudi Arabia is hot, but the “centre of the Earth!?!” Now that’s really hot! Do you have to take an elevator to get down there?

But upon sober reflection, we all know what’s at the center of the Earth: hell. Perhaps this is the truth of the Muslim religion hidden in plain sight for all to see — that the “religion of peace” is “centered” on Satan rather than God. It sure would explain a lot, wouldn’t it?

Mecca is the direction all Muslims face when they perform their daily prayers.

I don’t know about you, but when I pray, I don’t pray to a stone owl or some other terrestrial monument. I direct my prayers upwards to God. False idols are forbidden. Jesus will hear my words even if I don’t have a compass.

One geologist argued that unlike other longitudes, Mecca’s was in perfect alignment to magnetic north.

Unfortunately for him, the rest of the geologists laugh at him. What does “perfect alignment” have to do with anything? If Mecca was so important, then why isn’t it situated at magnetic north, hmmmm? Think about that.

He said the English had imposed GMT on the rest of the world by force when Britain was a big colonial power, and it was about time that changed.

This is a thinly veiled threat. Islam commands its adherents to convert or kill the infidel. The Arab world wants to become the next big colonial power. It’s all about conquest. We must resist.

And get this: there’s even a Mecca watch. How’s this for symbolism?

The watch is said to rotate anti-clockwise and is supposed to help Muslims determine the direction of Mecca from any point on Earth.

Yes, a watch that runs backwards! These crazy people want to turn back the clock, to make time run backwards, contrary to the laws set up by God Himself. Clearly putting the power to control global time in the hands of Muslim fundamentalists is the first step in allowing them to control the flow of time itself. This would stop progress in its tracks. The correct answer is “no.”

Look guys, you can make watches that run backwards and use funny scribbles in place of numbers in your own country, but don’t force it on the rest of us. We believe in freedom. Freedom of religion, and freedom from yours. If you want to believe you live at the “centre” of the Earth, fine. Stay there. Stay warm. And let the rest of us continue to live in the 21st century. Thanks.

Apologies in advance to Muslims who disagree with those who speak loudly and foolishly in their name, and especially to those who do not support terrorism and world conquest. I have no quarrel with you.

Thanks to longtime B4B reader MikeM for bringing this story to our attention.

td

Penguins Fly – Rapture Close at Hand

A startling discovery was recently made: flying penguins. Can the rapture be far behind?

The BBC will today screen remarkable footage of penguins flying as part of its new natural history series, Miracles of Evolution.

There have been scattered reports about flying penguins for decades but many of these are attributable to Sally Field in her blasphemous role in The Flying Nun.

I guess this for once and for all proves that Darwin was right. I now believe that many of our commenters are indeed descended (or distended) from apes.

— Psycheout

Hooray for Global Warming!

It turns out that if global warming is true, it may just save us from fluctuations in the sun’s production of heat and light that travel through the aether. Perhaps scientists will need to research if it’s possible for man to increase global warming and how it could be done.

Every day, scientists hoping to see an increase in solar activity train their instruments at the sun as it crosses the sky. This is no idle academic pursuit: A lull in solar action could potentially drive the planet’s temperature down, or even prompt a mini Ice Age.

So the question may become how do we increase greenhouse gasses rather than decrease them for our own survival. Funding to increase carbon dioxide in the atmosphere would supplant the hippie anti-human science that persists today. Those driving SUVs would be hailed as heroes. ANWR would finally be opened for drilling. California would cheerfully submit to offshore drilling to keep America warm and safe.

Can mankind’s industrial activities save the planet? Good question. It would be ironic if the treehuggers were shown scientifically to be responsible for bringing planet Earth to the brink. As if we didn’t already know that ecoterrorists are a very real and serious threat.

But we must be cautious. About thirty years ago, scientists were warning about global cooling, mini ice ages and population bombs and they were proven to be wrong.

Is the sun cooling down? Keep watching the skies. And keep burning those fossil fuels. Our very survival may depend on it.

Update: To demonstrate the kind of idiocy right thinking people who recognize that globular warming is a sham, check this out: people who question global warming should be jailed, so says an unhinged Canadian eco-terrorist:

David Suzuki has called for political leaders to be thrown in jail for ignoring the science behind climate change.

If it’s war they want, it’s war they will get.  Does Suzuki even make cars or motorbikes anymore?

— Psycheout

Camel Spiders: Demons in Action

This is a perfect example of the tactics of this shadowy menace. Granted, scorpions are hardly saints themselves, but surely their sins are venial compared to those of camel demon-spiders. Clearly, we can see that Satan punishes his followers in this life as well as the next. There are no rewards for evil.

Furthermore, this video shows that even as babies, camel spiders are pure evil. This one is a tadpole compared to the size it will eventually attain, yet already its hands are stained with the blood of passersby. No wonder these beasts delight so much in the destruction of our brave soldiers. Clearly, they must be exterminated in order for Iraq to remain free.

I will pray for the scorpion. He was only a pawn in the Dark One’s game.

Camel Spiders: Saddamite Demons

No discussion of the War in Iraq can be complete without a mention of the gravest foe our troops face over there: camel spiders. Compared to them, the jihadists and assorted evildoer loonies are a minor inconvenience. Camel spiders are the demons directing the show.

By coming to this website you’re probably wondering “are camel spiders real?”. If you asked yourself those questions, then the answer is yes, but the truth is very different from what may have heard from your friends.

Indeed it is, my misleading moonbat friend. Camel spiders can be roughly as large as medium-sized dogs, can travel at over 20 miles per hour, enjoy disemboweling camels for sustenance, and have been known to eat sleeping or dying men in the desert. Throughout history, any warrior missing in action in Mesopotamia was usually written off as camel spider fodder. That still holds true today.

Don’t believe me? Here’s the testimony of the soldier who took the above photo:

From someone stationed in Baghdad. He was recently bitten by a camel spider which was hiding in his sleeping bag. I thought you’d like to see what a camel spider looks like. It’ll give you a better idea of what our troops are dealing with.

Enclosed is a picture of his friend holding up two spiders. Warning: not for the squeamish! This picture is a perfect example of why you don’t want to go to the desert. These are 2 of the biggest I’ve ever seen. With a vertical leap that would make a pro basketball player weep with envy (they have to be able to jump up on to a camels stomach after all), they latch on and inject you with a local anesthesia so you can’t feel it feeding on you.

They eat flesh, not just suck out your juices like a normal spider. I’m gona be having night mares after seeing this photo!

Camel spiders were frequently used by Saddam Hussein to torture confessions out of the victims of his terrorist regime. The mere mention of these nefarious beasts was often enough to extort a tearful confession from his victims, punctuated by tears and shrieks as they begged for a merciful death rather than exposure to the desert demons. Saddam, whose league with the forces of darkness is common knowledge at this point, as likely as not ordered his Baathist henchmen to disregard such pleas for humanity.

Less is known about the role of camel spiders in the ongoing insurgency of dead-enders. Very likely, though, camel spiders are frequently used in connection with IEDs. These creatures, which crave darkness and shadow and blood like the wholesome rabbit craves carrots and lettuce, are very good at spotting the best place for hiding an object alongside a road. All too often, insurgents could use the presence of camel spiders as a dark omen from Satan that this is an opportune spot to plant a bomb.

Moonbats, of course, will deny many of these facts, as is their wont. But even they concede they know very little about the behavior of these demoniac monstrosities.

The biology, behavior, and ecology of solifuges remain relatively poorly studied, despite the extensive work by Punzo over the past decade and prior work by Muma and others

Of course it’s poorly studied. Despite the proliferation of both camel spiders AND liberals in Perdition, no liberals have returned to discuss the infernal activities of these hideous demons.

One thing remains certain. Our brave soldiers face not only cowardly human enemies in battle, but they also face slinking, lurking, crawling, burrowing demon-nemeses as they sleep. These vicious brutes make the insurgents seem downright honorable in comparison. At least the insurgents will only kill your body. They won’t eat your flesh or try to devour your soul while you sleep. After our victory over our human adversaries in Iraq, our next President would do well to begin an extensive war of annihilation against our in-human foes, the “arachnid” demons who can slice scorpions in half with their fangs and steal a baby from its very cradle.

God help us all. God bless America, and God bless our brave fighting men.

Science Marches On

True science, that is.

A Texas-based institute that advocates creationism as part of science curriculums is seeking state approval to grant an online master’s degree in science education, sparking renewed controversy over the place of religion in science classrooms, according to a report in the Houston Chronicle.

The Institute for Creation Research, which is based out of Dallas, says it teaches its graduate students “more typical secular perspectives” alongside creationism.

According to the school’s mission statement, the proposed program would prepare teachers to “understand the universe within the integrating framework of Biblical creationism,” the Chronicle reports.

After this campaign is over with, I may apply for one of these degrees. This curriculum is designed by people who understand the way things really are:

According to the Institute’s Web site, students and faculty must profess faith in a literal translation of the Bible, including the belief that God created the world in six days and made life in their current forms, that the Earth is only a couple thousand years old and the fossil record is the result of the great flood as described in the Bible.

In other words, no moonbats allowed. No trolls allowed. No Communist secularist humanist Copernicans allowed. My kind of program. When Huckabee wins the White House, it’s going to be everyone’s kind of program. That’s a promise, folks.

God bless America.

Vampires are Pure Evil

One thing that all right-thinking can agree upon is that vampirism is a grievous sin. The act of undeath may, or may not, be valid in reality. However, the concept of vampirism, and of related practices of blood-sucking, Satanism, depravity, and murder, is alive and well, and its address is in the Democrat Party.

Vampirism has been with us since time immemorial. It, and its related sin, liberalism, latch onto the body (individual’s, or politic’s) neck, siphon the life force from them, and corrupt the remainder into a willing acolyte. Whether one is talking about a Bram Stoker character or a nation like Sweden, the effects of vampirism are the same: a corrupt, degraded addiction to social welfare programs, the tax dollars of others, and the life force of whatever society of individuals one happens upon.

It is no coincidence that vampire expert Ann Rice endorsed John Kerry in 2004. It is no coincidence that she endorses Hillary Clinton today. Nor is it a coincidence that John Kerry is directly descended from Vlad Tepes, otherwise known as Count Dracula.

Yes, the Democrat Party’s record is rife with links and connections to vampires and vampirism. And these are the moonbats running Congress today. It’s no wonder that John Gibson was able to pinpoint the link between vampirism and the decision to cut and run in Iraq:

What should we say about politicians who actually fear a good report on the surge? Whose nightly prayers are evidently that their county lose a war because otherwise they might lose an election? Oh the panic, oh the terror! Win the war?

Believe it or not there are Americans for whom that is very, very bad news. You wonder how they sleep, unless it’s upside down in a cave. Vampires don’t have trouble sleeping.

That’s My Word.

President Brownback should use his mandate to begin the destruction of all vampires in America. Some of those vampires may be the ones spoken of in the Bible. Some of them may be the ones wearing suits and peace symbols in Washington, DC. All of them must be destroyed if they threaten our lives, or the life force of our society. President Brownback should send Ann Rice to Guantanamo, as well, if she won’t stop spouting this leftist nonsense and endorsing vampire candidates for office.

Vampirism is no laughing matter. We patriots, Christians, and Republicans must do all in our power to stand against vampirism, Satanism, Sodomism, Marxism, Heliocentrism, atheism, secularism, Islamism, Paganism, liberalism, anti-Triclavianism, and any other anti-American dunderheaded evil nonsense -ism you can think of.

May God bless these United States!

Open Science Thread

Are the French human, or are they demons in disguise, like platypusses and Sean Penn?  Discuss.

Clinton Crisis: Mad Bomber Wrapup

Unless you were in a cave today or simply not paying attention, you may be unaware of today’s crisis at Clinton campaign headquarters. A deranged Hilldog fan burst into the New Hampshire campaign offices with a homemade homicide bomb strapped to his chest, made demands, took hostages, waited for Senator Clinton to implement universal socialist healthcare, became impatient due to the inevitable wait time, and eventually surrendered.

Now that’s just what happened on the surface. But there’s actually a lot more to the story if one is willing to dig deeper. So dig we must. Over at Blogs 4 Conservatives, I provide a detailed analysis of what this event really signifies, and demonstrate conclusively how it is a classic and poignant illustration of where liberalism ultimately leads. Incidentally, as it turns out, today’s events also definitively prove the existence of G-d. I bet you didn’t see that coming.

You will believe.

Update: Science finally confirms that liberalism is a mental disorder.

— Psycheout

Faithmouse Friday

Dan Lacey pokes the idiotic Darwinists sharply in the funnybone in a recent strip.

I’m seriously considering making this a regular feature. Since my first cautious assessment of Faithmouse, I’ve come to realize that Dan’s cutting edge work is very effective at communicating the pro-life message and issues of faith and conscience to those it may not have yet reached.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. The number of words that Dan has communicated through Faithmouse must be astronomical by now.

Watch for an upcoming profile on Dan Lacey’s ongoing Faithmouse project. I think it’s about time I made up for not recognizing the power and value of his art.

Faithmouse Friday really has a nice ring to it. I hope Mr. Lacey approves.

Update: Bonus Faithmouse to get you through the weekend.

— Psycheout

Demonwatch: Platypusses

I don’t know how often many of you think about platypusses in the course of a given day. Personally, I try not to. They make me shudder every time I do, like the hand of Evil itself swept across my soul. Platypuses are one of Satan’s minions on Earth. The species has no relation to God whatsoever. God makes no such junk. Platypusses are either varmints native to Hell, or are actually demons in animal guise. Even Darwinists can’t agree on the little critters, which is a very bad sign:

According to evolutionists, the oldest fossil platypus of the genus Ornithorhyncus is only 100,000 years old, but remains of similar species have been found species in Cretaceous formations, with an age estimate by evolutionists at 110 million years

Platypusses demonstrate their evil in a number of ways. It is very clear that their unnatural rodent ancestors had carnal relations with duck. It is equally clear that their duck ancestors had unnatural relations with rodents. Where Satan gave this unholy hybrid a special gift from his horde is in the back heel. Platypuses have poison spikes with which they can inflict an intense stinging pain on decent Christians who should happen to come near them. Like the serpent in the garden, platypusses tempt human women with their playful and comical appearance, then sting them into madness and damnation when they approach.

Platypusses are sexually depraved.  Despite the fact that they are rodents, they lay eggs like a duck.  Despite the fact that they’re ducks, they force their children to suckle at their teats.  Only a demon could conceive of such an absurd perversity.  Only a Darwinist could take pleasure in such a species. 

Something must be done about this plague, and soon. I’m very sure that President Brownback will do his part to euthanize every platypus in America once he enters the White House. Meanwhile, I think President Bush should call upon the Australian government and people to render these evil litte beasts extinct as soon as humanly possible. God will not suffer men and demons to share the world for much longer.

Daylight Satan’s Time

Apologies for not writing yesterday. I was coping with the work-related scheduling issues that I always have at this time of year. Sunday marked the beginning of that unending celebration of treefrogged secularism and Copernican moronics known as Daylight Savings Time.

Apparently, the Copernican model doesn’t work very well. It doesn’t tell time correctly. That’s not very surprising, since it’s wrong, but as usual it’s you and me who have to foot the bill for the idiocy, incompetence, and blasphemy of our “scientific” overlords. They force us all to tell time by an imaginary hour backward for six months of the year, lest their precious system of lies wreck our calendar and wake the citizenry up to the fact that the Heliocentric model is a morass of lies and deceptions.

The Earth does not move. The Sun does. No system of timekeeping or astronomy is complete which does not take these facts into consideration. Our currently-legally enforced system does not work because it is founded on a lie, the lie of Heliocentrism and the attendant denial of the same geostationary Truth laid down in the Bible and corroborated by the genuine, anti-NASA scientists of this very day and age.

I spoke with my employers about this issue, but they refused to accommodate my perfectly reasonable request that my religious faith be honored and I be permitted to observe the time one hour forward, as it truly is and was intended to be by God. So it looks like I’m going to work an hour early from now on, and staying an hour later. They may speak to me about that, but it is unlikely to result in my termination. It will, however, result in loss of sleep, which is why I didn’t have the time to write about this yesterday. My apologies for the somewhat-delayed post.

There are only two sides to take on this issue- the side of those who refuse to change their clocks, and count themselves among the Saved; and the side of those like my employers, who shall one day have to answer to God for their blasphemy and treason. Choose, but please choose wisely. I hope to see you all in Heaven one day.

Excellent News!

More and more atheistic scientists are being injured in laboratory accidents:

American laboratories handling the world’s deadliest germs and toxins have experienced more than 100 accidents and missing shipments since 2003, and the number is increasing steadily as more labs across the country are approved to do the work.

No one died, and regulators said the public was never at risk during these incidents. But the documented cases reflect poorly on procedures and oversight at high-security labs, some of which work with organisms and poisons so dangerous that illnesses they cause have no cure. In some cases, labs have failed to report accidents as required by law.

The mishaps include workers bitten or scratched by infected animals, skin cuts, needle sticks and more, according to a review by The Associated Press of confidential reports submitted to federal regulators. They describe accidents involving anthrax, bird flu virus, monkeypox and plague-causing bacteria at 44 labs in 24 states. More than two-dozen incidents were still under investigation.

He who does not see the Hand of God at work behind all this is blind. God wants to punish moonbat scientists for rejecting His works. God will kill them in the den of their own iniquity, as a message to us all. And I, for one, am all for that. These scientists are the same ones who want to teach our children that their grandparents fornicated with monkeys. The same ones who want to allow Helioleftism to become the exclusive astronomic teaching in our classrooms. The same people who try to argue that homosexuality is a genetic disorder, not a lifestyle disorder.

Death by anthrax or bird flu is too good for these deviants. God has shown mercy in permitting them deaths far less painful than those they merit.

What’s really sickening is that moonbats will pretend that praising the works of God is somehow unChristian. “How can Christians pray for the deaths of others?” they will whine. The point is, these scientists are almost beyond salvation. They’ve made their pact with the devil, and dying slowly of a fatal illness they contracted in the course of their unGodly professional lives is the only way to offer them the slightest possibility of redemption. As earnestly as I welcome the divine retribution, I earnestly pray that they will repent themselves of their sins before death overtakes them.

In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

Study: Women are Harlots

Even the leftards now concede what right-thinking people have known for thousands of years: women are shameless hussies who must be chained up for their own good.

In the study, 854 male and female subjects viewed a series of male head shots that had been digitally altered to exaggerate or minimize masculine traits. The participants then answered questions about how they expected the men in the photos to behave.
Overwhelmingly, participants said those with more masculine features were likely to be risky and competitive and also more apt to fight, challenge bosses, cheat on spouses and put less effort into parenting. Those with more feminine faces were seen as good parents and husbands, hard workers and emotionally supportive mates.
Despite all the negative attributes, when asked who they would choose for a short-term relationship, women still selected the more masculine looking men. Brad and George then would be picks for a brief romance, if not the long haul.

The article then devolves into evolutionary nonsense, but the point it makes is quite valid: women enjoy cheating on their husbands with men they find more attractive.

I don’t think I need to emphasize how revolting this is. The man who raises the children has a cuckoo egg in his nest- the leftist charlatan who seduced his wife has placed it there, and the poor clueless Republican is forced to raise this subhuman monstrosity as if it were his own offspring.

There are excellent reasons why men have always kept their wives in check. Harlotry is an innate facet of the female character. I, for one, would rather die than allow my wife to be seen in public without her chest strapped down. I know that if I allowed her to do so, it would encourage any Democrats in the area to impregnate her. Then I, the unsuspecting rube, would be forced to raise the spawn of demon-worshippers.

I cannot allow such a fate to transpire. That is why my wife is never permitted to leave our residence with an unstrapped chest. Moreover, she is usually locked in the garage when I am at work. She understands the necessity for this, as her moral weakness and emotional nature render her highly susceptible to moonbat deceptions. Such is the punishment of Woman for the sin of Eve. It is a harsh sentence, for a grievous sin. If Eve had not stolen the apple, God would not make women fornicate at will with every passing treefrog satyr.

I think all decent Americans know that President Brownback will do the right thing when it comes to American harlots. Women must know their places, and be kept in them, be it your kitchen, broom closet, cellar, garage, bedroom, or yard leash, your females must be kept from fornicating at all costs. If we could keep liberals away from our women for one single generation, then no new liberals would be born. Then, sin would perish from America forever. That is the dream of all true Americans, and that is what we struggle for.

God bless America. Vote for Brownback for President!

Liberal Brain vs. Conservative Brain

A new study reveals what most of us have known instinctively: liberals have brain damage.  It has recently been demonstrated that liberals have a flaw in the brain that makes them indecisive while conservatives manage to remain resolute in their minds.

This explains moral relativism and the tendency towards flip-flopping.  It also explains why liberals have no principles whatsoever.

Of course its interesting to see how the liberal media spins this, using words like “sensitive” and “flexible” to compensate for the deficiency in liberal brains.  These are PC terms much like “differently abled” to describe retards.

Perhaps this new study will lead to identification of liberals and medical treatments for them at an early age.  Perhaps once the liberal gene is discovered, this preventable permanent vegetative disorder can at last be wiped out altogether.

— Psycheout