Blogs 4 Brownback

April 21, 2008

Muslims Is the Kwaziest People!

Filed under: Defending America,Idiocy,Nutjobs,Science — Tyler Dresden @ 3:59 pm
Tags:

Mecca at the Centre of the EarthB4B readers may wish to buckle their seat belts before reading further, because this story made me fall out of my chair.

Muslim scientists and clerics have called for the adoption of Mecca time to replace GMT, arguing that the Saudi city is the true centre of the Earth.

Hahahahahaha! I know Saudi Arabia is hot, but the “centre of the Earth!?!” Now that’s really hot! Do you have to take an elevator to get down there?

But upon sober reflection, we all know what’s at the center of the Earth: hell. Perhaps this is the truth of the Muslim religion hidden in plain sight for all to see — that the “religion of peace” is “centered” on Satan rather than God. It sure would explain a lot, wouldn’t it?

Mecca is the direction all Muslims face when they perform their daily prayers.

I don’t know about you, but when I pray, I don’t pray to a stone owl or some other terrestrial monument. I direct my prayers upwards to God. False idols are forbidden. Jesus will hear my words even if I don’t have a compass.

One geologist argued that unlike other longitudes, Mecca’s was in perfect alignment to magnetic north.

Unfortunately for him, the rest of the geologists laugh at him. What does “perfect alignment” have to do with anything? If Mecca was so important, then why isn’t it situated at magnetic north, hmmmm? Think about that.

He said the English had imposed GMT on the rest of the world by force when Britain was a big colonial power, and it was about time that changed.

This is a thinly veiled threat. Islam commands its adherents to convert or kill the infidel. The Arab world wants to become the next big colonial power. It’s all about conquest. We must resist.

And get this: there’s even a Mecca watch. How’s this for symbolism?

The watch is said to rotate anti-clockwise and is supposed to help Muslims determine the direction of Mecca from any point on Earth.

Yes, a watch that runs backwards! These crazy people want to turn back the clock, to make time run backwards, contrary to the laws set up by God Himself. Clearly putting the power to control global time in the hands of Muslim fundamentalists is the first step in allowing them to control the flow of time itself. This would stop progress in its tracks. The correct answer is “no.”

Look guys, you can make watches that run backwards and use funny scribbles in place of numbers in your own country, but don’t force it on the rest of us. We believe in freedom. Freedom of religion, and freedom from yours. If you want to believe you live at the “centre” of the Earth, fine. Stay there. Stay warm. And let the rest of us continue to live in the 21st century. Thanks.

Apologies in advance to Muslims who disagree with those who speak loudly and foolishly in their name, and especially to those who do not support terrorism and world conquest. I have no quarrel with you.

Thanks to longtime B4B reader MikeM for bringing this story to our attention.

td

45 Comments »

  1. “Apologies in advance to Muslims who disagree with those who speak loudly and foolishly in their name, and especially to those who do not support terrorism and world conquest. I have no quarrel with you.”
    +5 human decency points

    This is silly, but not as silly as Bob’s Flat Earth Hypothesis.

    Comment by Elephant Bones — April 21, 2008 @ 4:20 pm | Reply

  2. I looked at my kingdumb, and I was finally here

    Comment by Anonymous — April 21, 2008 @ 4:32 pm | Reply

  3. [bleep] YOU FOR DELETING MY COMBO, [bleep]

    [Admin: Oh, cry me a river. Perhaps you should acquaint yourself with our rules, specifically rule 1 (no profanity) and rule 3 (no filibustering) which clearly states that “Fresh Prince and Rick Astley lyrics are also expressly forbidden.”]

    Comment by Anonymous — April 21, 2008 @ 4:34 pm | Reply

  4. [profanity and filibustering removed per rules 1 and 3]

    Comment by Anonymous — April 21, 2008 @ 4:36 pm | Reply

  5. “Rick Astley lyrics are also expressly forbidden.”
    Someone doesn’t like 80s music. My girlfriend would be most saddened by your lack of taste.

    Comment by Elephant Bones — April 21, 2008 @ 6:03 pm | Reply

  6. No one cares about me

    Comment by Anonymous — April 21, 2008 @ 6:04 pm | Reply

  7. Perhaps we should all just sit this one out and let these idiots fight amongst themselves over the shape of the Earth, since TD obviously believes the fact that it is round while Corker and others firmly stand by their idiotic notion that it is flat.
    Who knows, maybe Corker can even convince Tyler to go to antartica and help in the fight against the robot penguins.
    And I have a clock that runs backwards, they were real popular back in the seventies, but I don’t think they ever pointed the way to Mecca.
    Anyway, I gotta go now, my car is dirty so I’m going to make a quick run down to the Two Guys From Mecca Carwash and let the hippies clean it for me.

    Comment by Arn — April 21, 2008 @ 6:23 pm | Reply

  8. No one cares about me

    I see what you attempted to do there. Unfortunately, you fail. Now GTFO my internet.

    [Admin: Sounds like a cry for help. Here, let me throw you an anvil.]

    Comment by Anonymous — April 21, 2008 @ 8:28 pm | Reply

  9. I direct my prayers upwards to God. False idols are forbidden. Jesus will hear my words even if I don’t have a compass.

    Umm, Muslims share the same God as you. So do Jews. The difference is a new set of laws, and a new representative figure. Then again, look who I’m talking to.

    This is a thinly veiled threat. Islam commands its adherents to convert or kill the infidel.

    B4B must be an Islamic site. Everyone here keeps babbling about converting or killing.

    Comment by Dio Brando — April 21, 2008 @ 8:36 pm | Reply

  10. @ Admin-

    If Sam Brown is in a coma, who is the man behind the curtain?

    Comment by ChenZhen — April 21, 2008 @ 8:59 pm | Reply

  11. B4B has an incredible team of professionals that make B4B what it is: the most important conservative news and opinion site on the Internet. Our bullpen is pretty deep.

    Articles are written, fact checked, peer reviewed, sent to the graphics team for appropriate image inserts and then reviewed for final release. It’s pretty incredible. Articles do not just appear; they are thoroughly vetted by the B4B Team.

    Sam was a valuable member of that team, but had his hands full with the Huckabee blog before he was tragically struck down. I hope he will be able to return one day. But sadly that day will not likely be soon.

    Be sure to say a prayer for him and his wonderful wife, Sam. Samantha Brown, we’re praying for you, dear.

    Thanks for asking, Chen. That was very decent of you.

    Comment by Psycheout — April 21, 2008 @ 9:17 pm | Reply

  12. Two Guys From Mecca Carwash

    Funny stuff, Arn! I LOL’d, as the kids say.

    Comment by Psycheout — April 21, 2008 @ 9:18 pm | Reply

  13. “Articles are written, fact checked, peer reviewed, sent to the graphics team for appropriate image inserts and then reviewed for final release.”
    Fact checked? Do you mean you make sure no facts get into your articles?
    Circlejerking isn’t peer review.
    You choose pictures easily accessible to anyone who knows how to Internet.

    “the most important conservative news and opinion site on the Internet.”
    Says who? Sucking your own cock doesn’t make you any more important.

    “Articles do not just appear”
    Says the guy who posted no fewer than 5 rapidfire blogs in one day.

    Comment by Elephant Bones — April 21, 2008 @ 9:32 pm | Reply

  14. So since they(B4B) take it seriously, EB, you sure I shouldn’t let the FBI know about serious terror plots drawn here? =/

    Comment by Dio Brando — April 21, 2008 @ 9:49 pm | Reply

  15. Considering that the justice department is filled with Regent University grads, your thinly veiled threat not only is getting stale Dio, its rather hollow. I think the B4B writers are more in tune with the mindset of the executive branch than you are. Who exactly is going to investigate and prosecute your imagined terrorists?

    Comment by Diablo — April 22, 2008 @ 5:40 am | Reply

  16. “So since they(B4B) take it seriously, EB, you sure I shouldn’t let the FBI know about serious terror plots drawn here?”
    Not to worry, the B4B staff are the only people who take B4B seriously.

    Comment by Elephant Bones — April 22, 2008 @ 11:16 am | Reply

  17. I think the B4B writers are more in tune with the mindset of the executive branch than you are.

    Funny, I don’t remember the Executive Branch being staffed by paranoid racists hell-bent on committing genocide.

    Who exactly is going to investigate and prosecute your imagined terrorists?

    I do actually know some people fairly intertwined.

    Comment by Dio Brando — April 22, 2008 @ 1:08 pm | Reply

  18. Arn, I think you insulted Tyler enormously, and owe him an apology.

    Tyler did not say the world was round. Instead, he thought it ridiculous that some desert wasteland is in the center of God’s Green Earth. The truth is that the Arctic Circle is the center of the Earth. Tyler knows this, or will if he searches Sisyphus’ early June posts.

    Comment by bobcorker — April 22, 2008 @ 3:52 pm | Reply

  19. “Tyler knows this, or will if he searches Sisyphus’ early June posts.”

    Hey, if he is stupid enough to believe you or Sisy, then no insults from me are needed, he insults himself by believing fanatic liars like you two. (and the rest of the b4b morons)

    Comment by Arn — April 22, 2008 @ 5:09 pm | Reply

  20. “Articles are written, fact checked, peer reviewed, sent to the graphics team for appropriate image inserts and then reviewed for final release.”

    I demand to see all of the bubble gum wrappers that you use to check your facts with.

    Comment by Arn — April 22, 2008 @ 5:11 pm | Reply

  21. . “The truth is that the Arctic Circle is the center of the Earth.”

    The truth is, there is a core of volcanic magma in the center of the Earth, and an oxygen/hydrogen atmosphere surrounding it, not a sky full of liquid aether above a flat Earth with the north pole in the center and an ice wall around the edges with robot penguins attacking the NASA folks that made them in the first place. That theory would fit the classic description of insane.

    Comment by Arn — April 22, 2008 @ 5:19 pm | Reply

  22. “…ice wall around the edges with robot penguins attacking the NASA folks that made them in the first place. That theory would fit the classic description of insane.”

    Of course that’s insane, you dildo. However, I have never said that robot penguins jump over the edge of the earth (or anything about penguins attacking anyone). That would be the resourceful damned. And why would NASA create something that would attack themselves? They just genetically spliced fish and birds together to make penguins, embedded extreme climate adaptors in their nervous systems, and put them in convenient filming/viewing locations to brainwash us into thinking that since animals can survive everywhere, there are no demons invading the planet, since no animal can live close to demons. As such, they are trying to convince us that the world is round, which is obviously a viewpoint incapable of compatibility with the concept of a Judeo-Christian God.

    Eden is, of course, the center of the earth when viewed top-down and judging by what’s on top. Several layers of dirt lie below this (then the mantle, then the outer and finally inner cores). ‘Mantle’ is actually a lesser level of hell, where people such as RINOs and Chuck-E-Cheese employees go. Hell succeeds in torture until finally the inner core, the center of the universe, is reached.

    You still owe Tyler an apology.

    Comment by bobcorker — April 22, 2008 @ 5:38 pm | Reply

  23. “Eden is, of course, the center of the earth when viewed top-down and judging by what’s on top.”

    When viewed from the top, the outer edge of the earth is around the equator, and you’re still the biggest idiot I know.

    Comment by Arn — April 22, 2008 @ 5:54 pm | Reply

  24. And I don’t need to apologise to Tyler for giving him a compliment by saying he is smart enough to know the world is round. I don’t see him coming on here and defending your stupid flat earth theory (which everyone knows is impossible), so I’ll just wait to see what he thinks. If he agrees that it is flat, then I definately wont apologise to him for his being as stupid as you are.

    Comment by Arn — April 22, 2008 @ 5:58 pm | Reply

  25. “When viewed from the top, the outer edge of the earth is around the equator, and you’re still the biggest idiot I know.”

    1. Yeah, and every single time I view the false pictures of the planet, the equator is in the center. And if one can see a picture of the false poles, then the land/water the equator covers are nowhere to be found. I find it hilarious that you don’t even agree with your Copernican bedbuddies. But, then again, you’re probably closer to the Truth than they are.
    2. That was a horrible retort. Please try to think out your retorts, or else you really sound like a broken record. If the conservatives put effort into their posts, the liberals should at least try to put some in countering. You were good at this at first, but now you just sound like a sociopath that needs someone to scream at, lacking a woman or a puppy in his life.

    Comment by bobcorker — April 22, 2008 @ 6:10 pm | Reply

  26. So, sometime in the future, as the technology for this does not yet exist, NASA created an abomination against God by genetically engineering a new, unique species. They then traveled centuries back in time to deposit said creatures in vast quantities in this cold area so they could be there for their first encounters with western civilization. Afterwards, they continued creating vast quantities using their apparent inexhaustible supply of science-y abomination supplies and funding to keep the population high enough that their creatures were not all slain by demons whenever someone came by to check it out. Of course, this also required repeatedly traveling through time to get these creatures to this area whenever someone happened to stroll by. This was all in an effort to promote a concept of the Earth from which they do not profit in any way whatsoever. And of course, the government funded expeditions where people spend months at a time in the tundra studying the many varied species which apparently survive the demons just fine as well as the abominations known as penguins, never noticed even the slightest evidence of such cockamamey goings on as your theory would require.
    Quite Frankly, a Delorean can’t seat that many birds.

    Comment by Armand Jean du Plessis de Richelieu — April 22, 2008 @ 6:42 pm | Reply

  27. “You were good at this at first, but now you just sound like a sociopath that needs someone to scream at, lacking a woman or a puppy in his life.”

    Or perhaps I just got tired of trying to talk to idiots with a sensible head, since there are no sensible people reading it. To date you have not said a single damn thing that has made any sense whatsoever, so why should I go out of my way to use sensible retorts?

    Comment by Arn — April 22, 2008 @ 6:44 pm | Reply

  28. “Yeah, and every single time I view the false pictures of the planet, the equator is in the center.”
    Cause you’re looking at the Earth from the side. Maybe you should learn some basic geometry.

    “And if one can see a picture of the false poles, then the land/water the equator covers are nowhere to be found.”
    That doesn’t even make sense.

    Comment by Elephant Bones — April 22, 2008 @ 6:47 pm | Reply

  29. “since there are no sensible people reading it.”
    Hi.

    Comment by Elephant Bones — April 22, 2008 @ 6:47 pm | Reply

  30. And why did you change your story, Corker? A while back you swore that penguins were robots and that there was a big war going on fighting them as they came over the ice wall, now they are “spliced fish” (is that like a filet?) and birds. Do you have new evidence to support this? Or, are you still just rambling with stupidity because it’s all you know how to do?

    Comment by Arn — April 22, 2008 @ 6:50 pm | Reply

  31. “since there are no sensible people reading it.”
    Hi.

    You weren’t supposed to read that EB, don’t make a liar out of me here😀 (how about, since there are no sensible members here to read it?)

    Comment by Arn — April 22, 2008 @ 6:54 pm | Reply

  32. Don’t be harsh on Corker– he can’t help that he’s a mentally challenged idiot who managed to do enough crack to fry what little of his brain he has left.

    His idol was Crackhead Bob, I surmise.

    Comment by Dio Brando — April 22, 2008 @ 7:05 pm | Reply

  33. Tyler, did you come up with the name of this post all by yourself or did Elmer Fudd help you with it?

    Comment by Arn — April 22, 2008 @ 7:17 pm | Reply

  34. He’ll get those wascawy wibewals someday!

    Comment by Elephant Bones — April 22, 2008 @ 8:39 pm | Reply

  35. Does he own a mansion und a yacht?

    Comment by Dio Brando — April 22, 2008 @ 9:46 pm | Reply

  36. Arn, I agree. There are too many Flat-Earthers on this site for the scientific image of the layers of the earth to be taken seriously.

    Comment by L — April 23, 2008 @ 6:25 am | Reply

  37. It are batshit insane, yes.

    TO SIT ON MY THRONE AS THE PRINCE OF BEL-AIR.

    WRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
    muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda ZA WARUDO!

    Comment by Wickford — April 29, 2008 @ 8:30 am | Reply

  38. EB, your girlfriend is lucky to have someone who enjoys 80’s music. She wouldn’t get that from any other guy. (Sorry, couldn’t resist.)

    Psycheout: “Fact check,” my foot! A second-grader could point out the holes in your logic. In fact, if you want me to, I’ll print out one of your articles, take it to a second grader, and ask if it makes sense. And I’ll videotape his answer for you.

    Comment by L — April 29, 2008 @ 9:58 am | Reply

  39. L, I think you should do such and post it on the tube of you. It would incite great laughter.

    Comment by Armand Jean du Plessis de Richelieu — April 29, 2008 @ 8:15 pm | Reply

  40. Thanks L and Armand. I’ll leave this one for L to do, it was her idea and a great one, meanwhile, I’m going to take some of his other silly posts and film children’s reactions to them and upload them to u-tube and send a few of them to my little gay friend that runs a site called D-Listed, I know he will love them, he loves insanity in all of its many forms. Between the two of them the clips of children making a fool of him will reach millions,,,, I love it.

    Comment by Arn — April 29, 2008 @ 8:35 pm | Reply

  41. “EB, your girlfriend is lucky to have someone who enjoys 80’s music. She wouldn’t get that from any other guy.”
    hahaha, well played, L.

    Comment by Elephant Bones — April 30, 2008 @ 12:25 am | Reply

  42. Penguins…….mmmmmmmm………I’m sure there was some discussion about shagging penguins a while ago.

    Comment by Pervy Gnome — April 30, 2008 @ 10:46 am | Reply

  43. If each suicide bomber gets 70+ virgins when they get to heaven does that not mean that heaven is 70to1 more women.. so 1000000 men would be surrounded by 70000000 women.. hahahahaha revenge is a dish best served cold….

    Comment by alan keen — January 19, 2009 @ 6:14 pm | Reply

  44. Fucking hate-spewers.

    You religion’s not the center of the fucking universe. That’s how wars have started, mah boi. Ever heard of the Crusades? THe Inquisition?

    Beh, fuck it. This website’s nothing more than a stem off Christwire.

    Comment by rapaxpringer — July 25, 2009 @ 6:35 pm | Reply


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