Open Thread

February 14, 2008

Open Thread

Filed under: Open Thread — Sisyphus @ 12:29 pm

Let the discussion begin.

Comments (33)

33 Comments »

Satire blog is satire.

/thread

Comment by The Nobody — February 14, 2008 @ 1:00 pm | Reply
It seems as if there as many ways to prepare chili as there are cooks who make chili. Ground beef versus chunks, pork versus beef, pinto versus kidney beans, beans versus no beans, red chili or green chili – the combinations, as the preferences for them, are endless. (The Wikipedia has a great write-up on chili con carne if you are interested in exploring its origins and varieties.) A few notes on this recipe. We use chuck roast because it holds up the best to long stewing. The meat and onions are cooked in bacon fat which contributes to the flavor. We include kidney beans because we like kidney beans, but you can substitute other beans or leave them out entirely. A little sugar is needed to balance out the acidity of the tomatoes and lime juice. The “secret sauce” so to speak of this recipe is the addition of chipotle chile powder, made from smoke-dried jalapeño peppers. Chipotle adds a smokey dimension to the chili, enhancing all of the other flavors. If you can’t find chipotle powder, Tabasco makes a chipotle pepper sauce that can be used to add some smokey flavor to the stew.

EVERYONE HAS AN OWN FAVORITE CHILI RECIPE….THIS IS MINE, WHAT IS YOURS?

2 Tbsp red chili powder
1 teaspoon chipotle chile powder
1 Tbsp ground cumin
2 teaspoons ground oregano
1 teaspoon thyme
1/2 teaspoon ground coriander seeds
3-4 Tbsp water

4 strips bacon
One 2 1/2 pound chuck roast, cut into 1/2-inch cubes
Salt
1 medium white onion, chopped
3 cloves garlic, minced
2 jalapeño chili peppers, stems removed, seeded, ribs removed, minced

1 14-oz can whole tomatoes
2 1/2 cups water
1 Tbsp freshly squeezed lime juice
1 teaspoon sugar

1 14-oz can red kidney beans, drained and rinsed
1 teaspoon cornstarch, dissolved in a couple tablespoons of water
Salt

Grated cheddar cheese and chopped red onion for garnish

1 In a small bowl mix the chili powder, chipotle chili powder, ground cumin, oregano, thyme, and ground coriander seeds. Mix in water so that chili forms a light paste. Set aside.

2 Cook the bacon in a large skillet on medium high heat until crisp. Use a slotted spoon to remove from pan and set aside on a paper towel. Pour bacon fat from the pan into a separate container, reserve. When the bacon cools, crumble it into smaller pieces and set aside.

3 Increase heat to medium high, add back in 1 Tablespoon of bacon fat. Working in batches so that you don’t crowd the beef (crowding will steam cook the meat instead of browning it), brown the beef cubes on all sides, lightly salting as you cook the beef. Remove beef from pan, set aside.

4 Add another Tablespoon of bacon fat to the pan. Add the chopped onions and sauté until soft, about 5 minutes. Add the garlic and jalapeño, cook until fragrant, 1 minute more. Add the chili paste and cook for 2-3 more minutes.

5 Into a 6-quart thick-bottomed Dutch oven, put onion chili mixture, beef, bacon, tomatoes (break up the whole tomatoes with your fingers as you put them in the pot), water, lime juice and sugar. Heat the chili on medium high heat until it comes to a simmer. Then reduce the heat to low. Cover and cook for 1 1/2 hours. Then uncover and cook for another half hour, keeping the temperature at a place where you can maintain a simmer.

6 Mix the cornstarch powder into a little water to dissolve the corn starch (otherwise you’ll have lumps to deal with) and add to the chili to thicken it. Gently mix in the kidney beans. Add salt to taste. Adjust seasonings. Depending on the acidity of the tomatoes and lime juice you may need a little more sugar to bring the stew to balance. At this point you can also add a little more chili powder if you desire more heat.

Sprinkle with grated cheddar cheese and chopped red onion. Serve with cornbread, tortilla chips, and or rice.

Comment by y7699 — February 14, 2008 @ 1:36 pm | Reply
Your mother is a lady of the night. Discuss.

Comment by Dio Brando — February 14, 2008 @ 2:16 pm | Reply
I think a good topic would be: How shall we prevent teenagers from getting too intimate on St. Valentine’s day?

I am certain that kissing on the lips by a man and a woman, married or not, is not a sin. However, the moment that the two touch anything between the belt and calves (or breasts) means that they both must be punished, perhaps by flogging. Masturbation should also lead to punishment (probably a fine), and premartial sex should be punished by execution.

One good thing all Christians can do on Valentine’s Day is drive to the mall with a large group and block entrances to Hallmarks by anyone under 18. In this way, the children will not be tempted to go all the way.

Comment by bobcorker — February 14, 2008 @ 3:22 pm | Reply
Hoax blog is hoax

/thread

Comment by The Nobody — February 14, 2008 @ 3:37 pm | Reply
Comment by The Nobody — February 14, 2008 @ 3:43 pm | Reply
“However, the moment that the two touch anything between the belt and calves (or breasts) means that they both must be punished, perhaps by flogging. Masturbation should also lead to punishment (probably a fine), and premartial sex should be punished by execution.”
Okay, you get on that, we’ll be right there.

“One good thing all Christians can do on Valentine’s Day is drive to the mall with a large group and block entrances to Hallmarks by anyone under 18.”
lol, mall’s closed due to religion

“In this way, the children will not be tempted to go all the way.”
I fail to see how blocking a card store is going to prevent anything. Last I checked, they sell condoms at pharmacies, not Hallmark.

Comment by Elephant Bones — February 14, 2008 @ 4:23 pm | Reply
Masturbation should also lead to punishment

How do you propose to enforce this? You going to sit there and stare at male crotches all day, and watch guys when they go into the shower?

block entrances to Hallmarks by anyone under 18. In this way, the children will not be tempted to go all the way.

Yeah, let’s keep the children from learning about teddy bears, and “I love you, mommy!” cards.

Comment by Dio Brando — February 14, 2008 @ 5:07 pm | Reply
Let’s talk about why we should kill every non-white liberal non-christian. Let’s talk about how apparently God wants us to wipe 90% of life off of the planet, and only ten white males and ten white females(and Senator Brownback, who is apparently a racist according to Corker) should be left to procreate. And those ten women, being women, must be beaten until they know the Lord, and they understand that they are to do everything the man says, for only men may receive the word of God.

Comment by Dio Brando — February 14, 2008 @ 5:09 pm | Reply
I think the topic that KKKorKKKer comes up with is too airheaded to discuss, cause the man just ain’t sane.

Comment by y6799 — February 14, 2008 @ 5:13 pm | Reply
In fact we could discuss to send a donation to B4B, since they want donations so badly that they needed an own paypal address. Once we donated, the money will be spent on porno lirature to keep this kids going….playing the hypocrite seems to pay well….haha
So gentlemen and ladies too….let’s donate em some MILK so they can finally GROW UP!!!!

Comment by y6799 — February 14, 2008 @ 5:17 pm | Reply
phail thread is phail.

Comment by Linus — February 14, 2008 @ 6:53 pm | Reply
Whew!

Comment by Roy Ubu — February 14, 2008 @ 6:57 pm | Reply
And the LORD said to Joshua, ‘Thou shalt take a dozen Christians, and those each should take a dozen Christians, until all entrances to Hallmark stores shall be cut off, then permit only those who have lived for eighteen years or more to enter. Thus, we will prevent all young children from the evil of teddy bears and love.’

Comment by Bible — February 14, 2008 @ 7:24 pm | Reply
Let’s not talk about farts, though.

Comment by Dio Brando — February 14, 2008 @ 7:55 pm | Reply
This is now a thread about Hogan’s Heroes. Who here hasn’t seen it? It’s such a great old show.

Comment by Elephant Bones — February 14, 2008 @ 9:03 pm | Reply
“One good thing all Christians can do on Valentine’s Day is drive to the mall with a large group and block entrances to Hallmarks by anyone under 18. In this way, the children will not be tempted to go all the way.”

I actually just got back from a prayer vigil. I wish I’d thought of this earlier, Bob!

“This is now a thread about Hogan’s Heroes. Who here hasn’t seen it? It’s such a great old show.”

I think I saw it once or twice when I was quite young. Sort of a series version of “The Great Escape,” right? Except it’s a comedy and the Nazis don’t kill anybody.

Comment by Sisyphus — February 14, 2008 @ 9:48 pm | Reply
“Sort of a series version of “The Great Escape,” right?”
Sorta. It’s a comedy where Allied POWs in a camp do sabotage missions and help smuggle escaped soldiers back to the Allied front. Because the Kommandant is an incompetent idiot, and the sergeant of the guard is a gullible wuss, they get away with it for 6 seasons. The stuff they do is hilarious.

Comment by Elephant Bones — February 14, 2008 @ 11:02 pm | Reply
I’ll get around to watching it one of these days. I’ll keep it in mind. Thanks, EB!

Comment by Sisyphus — February 15, 2008 @ 10:18 am | Reply
Gotta keep people informed of quality programming. ^_^b

Comment by Elephant Bones — February 15, 2008 @ 1:13 pm | Reply
Found something interesting:

19 And the Lord was with Judah; and he drave out the inhabitants of the mountain; but could not drive out the inhabitants of the valley, because they had chariots of iron. Joshuah 1:19

Seems like god´s unable to take on tanks. LOL!

Comment by PG — February 15, 2008 @ 5:13 pm | Reply
Yep, Hogan´s Heroes or Ein Käfig voller Helden, as it is called in Germany, is one of the best comedy classics out there, along with M.A.S.H..
Love it.

Comment by PG — February 16, 2008 @ 6:20 am | Reply
“Seems like god´s unable to take on tanks. LOL!”

That’s referring to Joshua. Atheist.

Comment by Sisyphus — February 16, 2008 @ 8:47 pm | Reply
I jokingly brought this up in the last open thread, but since this is truly a thread without topic, I shall say it for real.

Sysiphus and those like him want a U.S. full of christians and without any gays. But without jews like Einstein, Teller, and Oppenheimer, and homosexuals like Turing, we may well have lost WWII.

Discuss.

Comment by Salmo — February 17, 2008 @ 1:33 am | Reply
That’s referring to Joshua. Atheist.

And the LORD was with Judah. Sounds an awful lot like god to me. So it´s at least Tank > god´s blessing/will. Still hilarious.

PS: I´m Agnostic.
PPS: Gullible, ignorant twat.

Comment by PG — February 17, 2008 @ 4:47 am | Reply
“Sysiphus and those like him want a U.S. full of christians and without any gays. But without jews like Einstein, Teller, and Oppenheimer, and homosexuals like Turing, we may well have lost WWII.”

God revealed those miracles to those Jews. It’s God’s feat, not theirs. They were merely conduits for His wisdom.

God loved America, and hated Nazism because it stood against Christ. God requited it for its many evils.

“And the LORD was with Judah. Sounds an awful lot like god to me. So it´s at least Tank > god´s blessing/will. Still hilarious.”

No. Judah went up against those chariots alone.

Comment by Sisyphus — February 18, 2008 @ 7:17 am | Reply
God loved America, and hated Nazism because it stood against Christ. God requited it for its many evils.

You know, one wonders why the Wehrmacht had the motto God with us on their belt buckles…

No. Judah went up against those chariots alone.

Let us look at the many accurate translations of Judges 1:19:

Young’s Literal Translation
Judges 1:19
and Jehovah is with Judah, and he occupieth the hill-country, but not to dispossess the inhabitants of the valley, for they
have chariots of iron.

American Standard Version
Judges 1:19
And Jehovah was with Judah; and drove out the inhabitants of the hill-country; for he could not drive out the
inhabitants of the valley, because they had chariots of iron.

Amplified Bible
Judges 1:19
The Lord was with Judah, and [Judah] drove out the inhabitants of the hill country, but he could not drive out those
inhabiting the [difficult] valley basin because they had chariots of iron.

Darby Bible
Judges 1:19
And Jehovah was with Judah; and he took possession of the hill-country, for he did not dispossess the inhabitants of
the valley, because they had chariots of iron.

English Standard Version
Judges 1:19
And the Lord was with Judah, and he took possession of theu hill country, but he could not drive out the
inhabitants of the plain because they hadv chariots of iron.

King James Version
Judges 1:19
And the LORD was with Judah; and he drave out the inhabitants of the mountain; but could not drive out the
inhabitants of the valley, because they had chariots of iron.

New Revised Standard Bible
Judges 1:19
The LORD was with Judah, and he took possession of the hill country, but could not drive out the inhabitants of the
plain, because they had chariots of iron.

21st Century King James Version
Judges 1:19
And the LORD was with Judah; and he drove out the inhabitants of the mountain, but could not drive out the inhabitants of
the valley because they had chariots of iron.

Douay-Rheims 1899 American Edition
Judges 1:19
And the Lord was with Juda, and he possessed the hill country: but was not able to destroy the inhabitants of the valley,
because they had many chariots armed with scythes.

As we clearly and indisputably see from the Young’s Literal Translation and the rest of the translations above, Judges 1:19 in Hebrew is speaking about GOD Almighty and His Will. (Note the King James version.)

So the bottom line is:

GOD Almighty could not have Judah drive the men from the plains!

–OR–

Judah, even though GOD Almighty was with him, still could not drive the men from the plains! And in this case, even though GOD Almighty was with him, GOD still couldn’t save him from losing this battle!

Comment by PG — February 18, 2008 @ 11:43 am | Reply
“GOD Almighty could not have Judah drive the men from the plains!”

He probably had to teach Joshua some humility. Who are you to question His will? A Panzer afficionado?

Comment by Sisyphus — February 18, 2008 @ 2:07 pm | Reply
He probably had to teach Joshua some humility. Who are you to question His will? A Panzer afficionado?

Right, that’s why HE WAS WITH HIM. It doesn’t work like that.

BAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

Comment by Dio Brando — February 18, 2008 @ 5:43 pm | Reply
Also, what happened to the post where you called lacey a Furry, and went with the dude with spaceabortions?

Comment by Dio Brando — February 18, 2008 @ 5:44 pm | Reply
He probably had to teach Joshua some humility. Who are you to question His will? A Panzer afficionado?

Blather as much as you want. The text stands. So does the conclusion. God tried and failed. So much for omnipotence…

Comment by PG — February 21, 2008 @ 11:33 am | Reply
Aside from the hilarious incongruity of BIBLICAL TANKS 😀 there is also the issue that the Old Testament writers frequently attributed things to God that God could not logically have had a hand in.

For example, in the book of Exodus, it clearly states several times that GOD hardened the heart of the Pharaoh so that he would not free the Hebrews. However, God was also telling Moses what to say during those fateful meetings. The latter makes sense; the former does not. If you believe that both cases were influenced by the same God, then you believe that:
1. God wants to make people suffer.
2. God wants Hir own messengers to fail 9 times out of 10.
3. God wants to ruin a perfectly good river by making it undrinkable, thus causing all people and livestock (Hebrew and Egyptian alike) to suffer from excessive thirst.

The events of the Bible were divinely inspired, but they were recorded by fallible human beings. This is yet another case.

Comment by L — March 12, 2008 @ 3:35 pm | Reply
tl;dr version of L and Sisyphus’ debate:
L provides contradicting evidence in the Bible that proves that it is, in fact, not perfect. Sisyphus responds by calling names, disregarding proof, and coming up with solutions that are definitely not canon.

Comment by Elephant Bones — March 12, 2008 @ 5:11 pm | Reply