Blogs 4 Brownback

March 4, 2008

Vermont Women Unite to Repeal Womens’ Suffrage!

Looks like some women have finally caught on to the horror of womens’ suffrage. I smell the beginnings of a Christian movement, here. If so many college-educated women in the most depraved and liberal state this side of California can see the light about the horrendous nature of allowing women to vote, there’s still hope that America can repeal that Amendment, save women from the nightmare of enfranchisement, and restore them to the freedom of the domestic roles for which God intended them.

God bless America, and free our women from the onerous burdens Satanist secularists have imposed on them.

December 27, 2007

Special Announcement

UrgentI had a mind-shattering epiphany last night, a nightmare vision that I have to share with you all. I find that I can no longer, in good conscience, support Senator Brownback directly in his campaign for the Presidency. Instead, I feel compelled to endorse Michael Huckabee, the candidate who will “tack” Brownback into office.

Last night, I was praying in the closet (as usual). I prayed to the Lord for a Brownback victory, and that President Brownback be given the power to smite the enemies of God. Suddenly, it seemed to me that a yawning abyss opened before me. Within, I saw a nightmare city I can’t describe, and don’t want to.

Hellish VisionUnutterable dark emanations of unspeakable horrors that cannot be named, cannot be grasped by the rational minds of Children of God loomed before me. These witch-lights showed a scene of utmost depravity, of inconceivable blasphemy. Women and children cavorted with dogs, goats, donkeys, and men of all tribes, religions, and deviancies. Drug dealers ran open-air forums, even injecting passing policemen with their sinful wares with complete impunity. Churches were draped in gasoline-soaked American flags, then set afire. Terrorists roamed the streets in jeeps, shooting anyone who wore a crucifix or made the Sign of the Cross. The Democrat Party had a special torture center for Americans who dared to vote their conscience, which they let Al Qaeda run for them.

It was horrible. As I stared down into this unimaginable den of iniquity and abomination, I felt my mind beginning to cross over the threshold into madness. Then an angel came to save me. A sudden fluttering of light, the abundance of feathers, and lovely morningsongs from Heaven pulled me back from the brink. I looked up, and found myself staring into the face of the harbinger of Ultimate Beauty.

Angel“Sisyphus, I am a messenger from God,” he said. “This horrifying thing you see before you is the city of San Francisco, in the year 2011, should the Democrats win the election. What is worse, the leftards will use the thought-control technology they’ve been quietly perfecting for the last 50 years to beam this filth from the sin-centers of San Francisco and Manhattan directly into the minds of young people from Iowa, Kansas, and the other wholesome parts of the country. God has sent me to tell you that this cannot be allowed to happen. He has offered the crown to Senator Brownback, but like Saul before him, Brownback has proven unworthy of it. Therefore, as He did with David, God has anointed Huckabee to be His chosen king on Earth. You, His faithful servant, must obey His edicts.”

Then the angel disappeared, the Hellish vista vanished, and I found myself screaming and crying in my closet.

AriseI feel I cannot, in good conscience, show a stiff neck to Heaven. I must alter my endorsement, switching it to Governor Huckabee. My hope is that this move will cause Brownback to relent, to reenter the race and allow God to grant him victory. God may yet be clement. God is merciful, and we must all pray that Brownback will cease to anger Him. I also harbor a secret hope that President Huckabee will appoint Brownback his Vice President in a move to allay Catholics, then find himself forced to step down while in office. God may yet secure the Presidency for Brownback in such a fashion.

Those are my secret hopes. But one cannot go against the Will of God. Therefore, I am changing my endorsement to Michael Huckabee. A good man, who will make a great President. And if Brownback can’t take over, maybe God can at least see to it that Huckabee converts to Catholicism himself before 2016. One can always pray for the best for one’s friends and allies.

November 3, 2007

Parking Tickets Must Be Abolished!

Parking TicketI got a ticket yesterday for something so stupid I hesitate to even share it with you. The degenerate liberal scumbags who constitute the Town Elders of this wretched New England village are undoubtedly pleased that my hard-earned cash is going into the coffers to finance their next orgy, but I can assure you that I am not amused. Neither is God, who will smite these wrongdoers in His righteous fury when the time is at hand.

I can understand ticketing cars for carrying socially irresponsible messages, such as drug slogans or Bernie Sanders stickers or those idiotic “W” crossed out things, but what I did shouldn’t even be a crime. I was parked in front of a fire hydrant. That’s it. Apparently, you’re not supposed to do that in this idiotic town. The rationale is that fire trucks need to get at the hydrants in the event of a fire, so that they can spray down the buildings and save the person’s home.

I can understand that system completely. What I don’t understand is allowing the city to siphon money out of the wallets of those who violate these silly edicts. This is a free country, with a free, capitalist economy. The way it should work is that residents of the area should check my license plate, call a private information-gathering service to acquire my name and telephone number (for some purely nominal fee), then call me up and ask me to move my car. If the offered price merits a move, I will cheerfully move my car immediately after receipt of payment. Then, should a fire occur, the privately-owned fire department will arrive and hose down any residences in the neighborhood carrying a sticker indicating they have paid the necessary fire prevention fees. If the fire comes, and my car is still parked there, the firefighters should steal it and move it. They should then pay me for the damage to my vehicle, reimbursing themselves out of the pocket of the person whose home they’ve just saved.

Fire HydrantThis system is substantially better than one involving government. The investment opportunities it presents are nearly unlimited. Moreover, it will stimulate the economy by requiring greater capital expenditures on the part of all parties. Any inequities in the system will quickly be corrected by the invisible hand of the market, which is wont to speedily amend all economic wrongs. Best of all, no more parking tickets. No more parking meters, except those controlled by private investors. No more tows for parking in front of privately-owned fire hydrants.

Obviously, my system may have a kink or two, but on the whole I think it would work just fine. I think I’m going to send it in to this city along with the ticket money they’ve extorted from me. I don’t expect the degenerate moonbats to act on it, but they can’t say they haven’t been presented with the ideas. What do you think?

September 28, 2007

Who Will Care for the Constitution After the Rapture?

RaptureI had an unpleasant thought recently. Everyone knows that the Rapture is coming soon, and that all decent and patriotic Republican Americans will ascend into Heaven bodily amid choruses of angels and cherubs, leaving moonbats, treefrogs, Helioleftists, atheists, and demons in temporary custody of the Earth. Soon, we shall return to reclaim the world, and the sinners shall be cast into a lake of fire for all eternity.

All well and good. But the thought that troubled me pertained to the United States Constitution. This physical document is a shrine to the finest and most Christian instincts of mankind. It lays down the law for God’s footstool, the United States of America. As such, it is a sacred document, almost on par with the Holy Grail or fragments of the True Cross.

It troubles my heart to think that this document might be left behind amidst the heathens, Satanists, and liberals who will misinterpret it- or, worse yet, allow some scumbag to use it in an anti-American flag-burning rally.

Even if God does send His angels to swoop the Constitution up, we must still bear in mind that the ideals it represents will be distorted and destroyed by the new, all-treefrog Supreme Court that the Democrats will appoint once they find themselves temporarily representing 100% of Americans.

That, alone, is nearly enough to unman me. I know the Satanists must control the world, but I wish God could just cast them into a lake of fire simultaneously with the Rapture. These are sinful thoughts on my part, of course, but my hope is that God and all right-thinking Christian Americans know that they come from a heart in the right place.

I do hope Brownback is President during the Rapture. That way, after our return to Earth he can be our President forever. (Bush is an excellent President too, of course, but Brownback will be even better.) Anyway, God’s will be done on the matter. And may God bless these United States!