Blogs 4 Brownback

March 29, 2008

The Gay Agenda Part I: An In-depth Report

Assless ChapsThis is a B4B exclusive.  All rights belong exclusively to B4B.  Must credit B4B for any excerpts.

Dateline: San Francisco, CA, headquarters of the gay agenda.  I am granted an exclusive interview with one of the shadowy leaders of a group that vows to destroy America from within and reshape her in its graven image.  Unless something is done to stop these foul creatures, America the Beautiful will no longer be made up of Red and Blue states, but will be one disgusting swath of pink, united under a pink triangle, a satanic symbol of universal fruitiness.

Kenny G (not his real name) takes his seat, dressed in “assless chaps” and a fuchsia feather boa, a mischievous glint in his eye.  World domination is his goal, warping your child’s mind is his aim, the literal destruction of America is on his mind.  And he’s not afraid to admit it.  In fact, he’s downright proud and smug about it.  Shocking is the word to describe this sinful cretin.

PO: Hi, Kenny G.  Thank you for granting us this interview.

KG: You’re welcome, sweetie.  I was hoping to get you back to my place for a bit of fun, if you know what I mean.  *winks*

PO: Yeah, right.  Great.  So what is it that your group, The Gay Mafia, wants to achieve?

KG: Equality for all, silly goose.  There’s nothing wrong with that, is there?

PO: But everyone is equal already, aren’t they?  Women are allowed to drive and work, racial discrimination is a thing of the past, read only about in history books, there are laws that forbid discrimination.  In fact, now there’s reverse discrimination.  What more do you want?  What you actually want are special rights, isn’t that correct?

KG: Oh, just get off your soapbox, won’t you, sugar?  Of course we want “special” rights.  We’re special people, therefore we deserve to have it all.  Get this: I have to watch television shows about straight couples all the time, you see them everywhere, flaunting their heterosexuality.  It’s disgusting.  What we need are more gays on the “boob tube.”  We need more openly gay couples, threesomes and foursomes, showing their pride on the streets and in the seedy back alleys of America.  People must be forced to call us normal, not weird, not sick.  Do you like my chaps?

PO: Let’s stay on the subject, Kenny.  This is very interesting.  What about people who realize that the gay lifestyle choice is sinful?  What about them?

KG: Those homophobes should be locked up and forced to watch gay porn 24/7.  No question about it.

PO: Don’t you think that’s a bit extreme?

KG: No I don’t.  If being forced to watch hot guys in the act of blissful unrestrained sodomy is what it takes to open some eyes and change some minds then so be it.  And another thing: homosexuality is not a sin.  It’s hot all right, but it’s not sinful, sister.
PO: But what about the King James Bible?  It clearly states that gaiety is a sin, forbidden by the Lord.  You can’t argue that.

KG: F**k the Bible.  King James was a big fairy.  And so was Jesus.  I hate God and I hate the Bible.  All that junk.  Religion should be banned and Christians thrown to the lions, again.  If I ever became king, it’s off with their heads.  Fundies make me sick.  What a bunch of drama queens!

PO: You would ban the free exercise of religion?

KG: You bet your ass I would.

PO: But what about the children?

KG: What about them?  I love children.  Especially little boys.  There’s nothing I would like better than twisting their minds into accepting my homosexuality as a legitimate lifestyle choice.  Then I’ll make them my love slaves.  Oooh, that’s hot.  Girls are much easier to turn, most are closet lesbos anyway, but you gotta get the little boys early, before they become masculine.

Later in the interview, Kenny G goes on about abortion on demand, or rather, forced abortions for all “straights” and other repulsive ideas behind the gay lifestyle.  I also asked who Kenny supports for President.  The answer was no surprise.  “Obama’s smoking hot,” he gushed as he touched himself in an impure manner.

Further excerpts from this shocking interview will be posted at a later date.

Reject the gay agenda for the sake of America.  If not, she and you, unless you’re an unrepentant gay homosexual who doesn’t deserve to live on G-d’s green Earth, will be destroyed.  You wouldn’t want that to happen, would you?

— Psycheout

82 Comments »

  1. The only comment for this fallacious fodder is, “Lol.”

    Comment by Armand Jean du Plessis de Richelieu — March 30, 2008 @ 1:49 am | Reply

  2. Blah, not fodder, excuse my inaccurate alliteration.

    Comment by Armand Jean du Plessis de Richelieu — March 30, 2008 @ 1:50 am | Reply

  3. Good Lord! I had to stop mid-way through reading and say a prayer that I would not get to the end and find you had been anally USED by one of those perverts. Thank you, Jesus for sparing our Psycheout!

    A good looking young man like yourself, why I cannot imagine the filth and depravity you were exposed to, the leers and gay-looks those perverts were sending you way. I just hope and pray you did not catch the AIDS from just being in the same room as this KG sodomite. If is apparent from this interview that everything we have ever heard about the typical Sin Francisco homosexual is true, they are the cancer that is killing American!

    I will continue to pray that God surround you with a barrier of protection to keep any DEMONS that might have followed you back home from that awful place. That could happen you know! Honestly, I don’t know if I can stomach reading part II.

    Your Sister in Christ,

    Mrs. T.D. Gaines-Crockett

    Comment by Mrs. T.D. Gaines-Crockett — March 30, 2008 @ 5:53 am | Reply

  4. “And he’s not afraid to admit it. In fact, he’s downright proud and smug about it. Shocking is the word to describe this sinful cretin.”

    Hmm, he’s not afraid to admit it. Yet Kenny G isn’t his real name. Sounds kinda afraid to me, if he’s not afraid, what’s his real name?

    Never mind, his real name is nobody, he came out of the disturbed brain of Psycheout, but that’s not his real name either, so he must be a tad bit afraid himself. Oh wait, I get it, it’s just another one Psycheouch’s windy lies about an interview that never happened.

    By the way Psychenut, being a “gay homosexual” would actually mean being a heterosexual.

    Comment by Arn — March 30, 2008 @ 7:46 am | Reply

  5. Really now, Arn, if Psycheout says he was with a homosexual then he was with a homosexual. Must you always be such a doubting Thomas all the time? You are just like an old troll laying in wait under a glass bridge, hoping to get a peek up the skirts of a Billy goat when they prance over.

    Comment by Mrs. T.D. Gaines-Crockett — March 30, 2008 @ 8:45 am | Reply

  6. Oh T.D. I am quite sure that psycheout has been with homosexuals, I just don’t believe that it was for an interview.

    Comment by Arn — March 30, 2008 @ 12:02 pm | Reply

  7. -.-Anyone who actually beleives this guy deserves to be castrated with rusty salt covered spoon.Besides I totally agree with Arn psycheout has had to have been with with homosexuals for more than this interview.

    Comment by cammanfia — March 30, 2008 @ 12:10 pm | Reply

  8. Reminds me of the early, glory days of Fox News investigating reporting before it became the voice of the extreme left in this country like CNN and MSNBC. Keep up the fantastic journalism…

    Comment by Diablo — March 30, 2008 @ 12:15 pm | Reply

  9. Fantastic Journilism?Its a hate speech!

    Comment by cammanfia — March 30, 2008 @ 12:19 pm | Reply

  10. Fake interview is fake
    /blog

    Comment by Elephant Bones — March 30, 2008 @ 1:05 pm | Reply

  11. Once more a bunch of closet fantasies by PsyKKKeout

    Comment by MoxoM — March 30, 2008 @ 1:30 pm | Reply

  12. Dear EB,

    Now you just hush up that kind of talk. Psycheout would never tell a story and you know that’s the truth. If you weren’t such a sweet young man at heart I would personally wash your mouth out with soap. Now you apologize right now. You hear me?

    Auntie Crockett

    Comment by Mrs. T.D. Gaines-Crockett — March 30, 2008 @ 2:05 pm | Reply

  13. Lulz you deleted my post its because you dont want to hear the truth.Sam Brownback will not win the election,You’re a moron who likes to write fake “interviews” for personal impowerment and is as biased as a Fox News Report.

    Comment by cammanfia — March 30, 2008 @ 3:41 pm | Reply

  14. Oh yeah “Auntie Crockett” do you actually beleive this crap?

    Comment by cammanfia — March 30, 2008 @ 3:42 pm | Reply

  15. “Now you apologize right now. You hear me?”
    Your authoritative mother act isn’t going to work, Crockett.

    “Psycheout would never tell a story”
    Did you just skip the post to go straight to the comments? Because you obviously missed the terrible fiction at the top.

    1. Kenny G is an American Saxophonist
    2. “showing their pride on the streets and in the seedy back alleys of America. People must be forced to call us normal, not weird, not sick.”
    “There’s nothing I would like better than twisting their minds into accepting my homosexuality as a legitimate lifestyle choice.”
    If the supposed ‘interviewee’ was a real homosexual speaking honestly, he wouldn’t speak from the default assumption that homosexuality is wrong.

    If you can’t tell fact from fiction, go read Catcher in the Rye.

    Comment by Elephant Bones — March 30, 2008 @ 4:43 pm | Reply

  16. Catcher in the Rye is a porn book banned by wise school districts.

    Comment by Ned Flanders — March 30, 2008 @ 10:01 pm | Reply

  17. You know, one would think that if a supposedly in the know member of the homosexual community is so willing to surrender (In language that is curiously both self deprecating and prideful) the entire evil plot to a clearly overly conservative individual who has apparently explained that he will be publishing an article of this interview, well, wouldn’t there be a public statement made already? Clearly they are not trying to keep it secret if this strangely stereotypical and yet so oddly conforming to the image of a “Jesus freak” (Sir Elton would excuse the use of his term, I am sure)member just gives it away so freely. And yet, there are no reports even on Fox news of this dangerous sect hell bent on world domination.
    Could it be that Psycheout has some holy powers that, whilst keeping the annoying shallow and fake mannerisms intact, still gets this fellow to spill the beans and hit on him in one go? Maybe, as his moniker suggests, they are merely psychic.

    And most importantly of all, Does this saxophonist have a nice ass, or were the chaps a hopeful move on his part?

    Comment by Armand Jean du Plessis de Richelieu — March 30, 2008 @ 11:05 pm | Reply

  18. That being said, I still think that “LoL” is the best response to this rubbish.

    Comment by Armand Jean du Plessis de Richelieu — March 30, 2008 @ 11:06 pm | Reply

  19. “And most importantly of all, Does this saxophonist have a nice ass, or were the chaps a hopeful move on his part?”
    Actually, he looks a little like you do. Darker hair, of course.

    Comment by Elephant Bones — March 31, 2008 @ 12:06 am | Reply

  20. I had to stop mid-way through reading and say a prayer that I would not get to the end and find you had been anally USED by one of those perverts.

    Oh, didn’t you know? Psycheout spends most of his day in the closet. He also has very close ties to his pastor, as well as his Boy Scouts leader.

    Also, Psycheout needs to learn how to fake an interview better. If you’re going to satirize, make it humorous.

    Comment by Dio Brando — March 31, 2008 @ 12:58 am | Reply

  21. Staying In The Closet Keeps One’s Ass Safe From Anal Rape. If Your Going 2 Criticize Some1 U Think Iz Satirizing, Then B Funny URself, Looser. Who Do U THINK U R AnEway? Ronnie James Dio?

    Comment by Pilly Bilgram — March 31, 2008 @ 2:50 am | Reply

  22. You know, I don’t really care anymore…

    Comment by TrogdortheEnlightened — March 31, 2008 @ 6:25 am | Reply

  23. Friends, I’ve found a copy of: The Homosexual Agenda! It was phony snakeskin in a disturbing rainbow of colors. As I opened the cover and read what was inside, my stomach churned. This, friends, was the disturbing contents of the Agenda:

    – Buy milk
    – Pick up pants from dry-cleaners
    – Pick up cake for Darryl’s birthday
    – Spend more time with my family

    Western civilization as we know it is surely doomed.

    Comment by L — March 31, 2008 @ 7:56 am | Reply

  24. Also: GBLT individuals are being killed for no good reason. Straight couples can kiss in public (and I’ve seen several couples getting rather shameless in public places), but two members of the same sex cannot even hold hands without there being a public outcry. This is obvious discrimination and it needs to be stopped.

    Comment by L — March 31, 2008 @ 8:36 am | Reply

  25. yeah, I agree with L
    PsyKKKeout aqnd Sixsixsixiphys should be able to kiss in public as well…….they sound so darn frustrated.

    Comment by MoxoM — March 31, 2008 @ 9:46 am | Reply

  26. lol @ ‘Auntie Crockett’ and everyone else for that matter.

    Comment by CJ — March 31, 2008 @ 10:42 am | Reply

  27. What is this DESU nonsense, a homosexual mating call?

    Comment by Mrs. T.D. Gaines-Crockett — March 31, 2008 @ 1:42 pm | Reply

  28. LOL homosexual mating call but seriously you’re officially a moron.

    Comment by cammanfia — March 31, 2008 @ 2:09 pm | Reply

  29. MTDGC – depends on which chan board you frequent and how many beers the /b/tard has had

    Comment by anonymous — March 31, 2008 @ 2:12 pm | Reply

  30. GTFO cammanfia

    Comment by anonymous — March 31, 2008 @ 2:16 pm | Reply

  31. I’m perfectly straight, Auntie. I prefer shirtless guys to gals with their boobs hanging out, thanks.

    (And in case you’re completely stupid, I am a girl.)

    Desu is a Japanese part of speech. It’s a present-tense ‘to be’ verb.

    Watashi wa sugoi DESU. (I am awesome.) Get it nao?

    Comment by CJ Blackwing — March 31, 2008 @ 2:58 pm | Reply

  32. This is obvious discrimination and it needs to be stopped.

    Yeah, but you know the staff here believes in viciously murdering anything that doesn’t look or act exactly like them.

    Maybe it’s some secret desire to inbreed.

    Comment by Dio Brando — March 31, 2008 @ 3:01 pm | Reply

  33. Well excuse me Im just trying to explain to Miss “crockett” shes a moron if her “god” wants to save her she should open her horizons kust a little!

    Comment by cammanfia — March 31, 2008 @ 3:02 pm | Reply

  34. Staying In The Closet Keeps One’s Ass Safe From Anal Rape. If Your Going 2 Criticize Some1 U Think Iz Satirizing, Then B Funny URself, Looser. Who Do U THINK U R AnEway? Ronnie James Dio?

    Not when you’re having anal sex in the closet.

    Also, fail at trolling.

    P.S.: No, I’m Dio Brando, and you’ll soon be feeling like you can’t move your body. Which won’t matter, since sometimes accidents happen and steamrollers(or oil tankers) land on people. Horrible, horrible shame, really.

    Comment by Dio Brando — March 31, 2008 @ 3:03 pm | Reply

  35. Why all the negativity ladies? We have no way of knowing if this interview is genuine or a fraud, so just quit bitch slapping each other. Speak when you have something worth saying or STFU.

    Yeah and stop calling my store asking for Batttletoads.

    Comment by Gamestop Mgr. — March 31, 2008 @ 3:56 pm | Reply

  36. Cammonfia – my bad

    Comment by anonymous — March 31, 2008 @ 4:20 pm | Reply

  37. [ she should open her horizons kust a little!

    Comment by cammanfia — March 31, 2008 @ 3:02 ]

    Why should she open her horizons? She’s already opening her legs for every Tongue,
    dick and hairy ass.

    [Ed Note: Uncalled for. You should apologize. Pronto.]

    Comment by Arn — March 31, 2008 @ 4:46 pm | Reply

  38. >Why should she open her horizons? She’s already opening her legs for every Tongue, dick and hairy ass.<

    like you’re not?

    Comment by moar lurk — March 31, 2008 @ 5:27 pm | Reply

  39. up yours moar

    Comment by The One — March 31, 2008 @ 5:42 pm | Reply

  40. and yes, moar ass, that was me that said up yours.

    [Ed Note: Quit changing identities. And you’re really getting close to being banned for your rude behavior.]

    Comment by Arn — March 31, 2008 @ 5:43 pm | Reply

  41. I can change identities all I want, ed note, and I wasn’t being rude, moar was. Besides, everyone on this board already knows that I am both “The One” and Arn, and you’re just an edit whore.

    Comment by Arn — March 31, 2008 @ 5:59 pm | Reply

  42. [Ed Note: Uncalled for. You should apologize. Pronto.]

    I’ll apologize when Mrs. TD apologizes for all the crap she has said about me over the past several months.

    Comment by Arn — March 31, 2008 @ 6:01 pm | Reply

  43. Perhaps you should tell your own little troup of sockpuppets to quit changing their identities too.

    Comment by Arn — March 31, 2008 @ 6:03 pm | Reply

  44. I’ll apologize when Mrs. TD apologizes for all the crap she has said about me over the past several months.

    In all fairness, Mrs. T.D. Gaines-Crockett is a good Christian lady, while you, and I’m being kind here, are a dirty hippie.

    Comment by Psycheout — March 31, 2008 @ 6:21 pm | Reply

  45. I plead the warm, salty blood of Baby Jesus on this thread and all who read it. May everyone here, Psycheout and myself excluded naturally, feel the harsh, excruciatingly painful jolt of Jesus’ wrath shooting through your veins for turning a perfectly decent post into something dirty and tainted. I am ashamed of and for all of you.

    Side notes:

    Arn,

    You vile, disgusting pig of a man you. You have your damned-by-God nerve for speaking of me in such a manner. I threw up a little in my mouth when I read that just knowing that you were practicing self-abuse to my image as you typed it with one hand. Shame is on your stoned head. Oops. I just threw up again.

    Psycheout: Bless you, dear man, for coming to my rescue in this sea of depravity. You are a gentleman and a hero. God Bless you.

    Comment by Mrs. T.D. Gaines-Crockett — March 31, 2008 @ 6:55 pm | Reply

  46. See…Psycheout and Mrs. T.D. Gaines-Crockett are both blind by their religions (this is comeing from a christian by the way) thinking because a book which has been changed so much its not even funny and if you really beleived in the bible you would take down this post and all the awful things you have said about everyone except (the few) people who agree with you.And this is why in some sense im ashamed to say im a christian.

    Comment by cammanfia — March 31, 2008 @ 7:32 pm | Reply

  47. “You vile, disgusting pig of a man you.”

    Why thank you, all compliments are deeply appreciated, no matter what the source.

    Comment by Arn — March 31, 2008 @ 10:17 pm | Reply

  48. “knowing that you were practicing self-abuse to my image”

    Says the lady with the bride of frankenstein hairdo.

    Comment by Arn — March 31, 2008 @ 10:29 pm | Reply

  49. “while you, and I’m being kind here, are a dirty hippie.”

    You don’t have to be kind to me Psyche, you’re not even a real person. Why should I give a rats ass what you say or think.

    Comment by Arn — March 31, 2008 @ 10:33 pm | Reply

  50. “Desu is a Japanese part of speech. It’s a present-tense ‘to be’ verb.”
    WRONG. Well, sorta. You’re right, desu is ‘to-be’ in Japanese, but the DESU used for spamming is the different application. Ending your sentences in DESU~ (with an extra U at the end) is an extremely polite way to end a sentence. It’s not really used anymore in Japan, though.

    Comment by Elephant Bones — March 31, 2008 @ 10:51 pm | Reply

  51. Eh, we can trust Mrs. Four-names. She’s a member of a psrodt site, the Landover Baptist Church(a parallel of the Westboro Baptist Church).

    Comment by Dio Brando — April 1, 2008 @ 1:03 am | Reply

  52. Ahahaha, moar psro­dt filtering.

    Comment by Dio Brando — April 1, 2008 @ 5:54 am | Reply

  53. @EB: Precisely. (I just didn’t want to confuse our dear senile Auntie, so I made my definition a little simpler. ^_^)

    Comment by CJ Blackwing — April 1, 2008 @ 6:14 am | Reply

  54. Senile?! Auntie resents that comment.

    Comment by Mrs. T.D. Gaines-Crockett — April 1, 2008 @ 7:35 am | Reply

  55. Saying everyone already has equality is ignorant and wrong. Have you ever been out of your house before?

    Comment by Mr.Epic — April 1, 2008 @ 8:03 am | Reply

  56. “Ahahaha, moar psro­dt filtering.

    Comment by Dio Brando — April 1, 2008 @ 5:54” am

    Looks like yours got filtered to there Dio.
    PSRDOTPSRDOTPSRDOTPSRDOTPSRDOTPSRDOTPSRDOTPSRDOT
    PSRDOTPSRDOTPSRDOTPSRDOTPSRDOTKPSRDOTPSRDOTPSRDOT

    Keep on filtering.

    Comment by Arn — April 1, 2008 @ 9:58 am | Reply

  57. Arn, the bride of Frankenstein had a very different hairdo. Mrs. T D Gaines-Crockett clearly has a B-52s Girl From Ipanema Goes to Greenland hairdo, which just makes her posts all the more hilarious.

    Comment by Armand Jean du Plessis de Richelieu — April 1, 2008 @ 12:09 pm | Reply

  58. See, they filtered out my whole comment,, what was that saying again? Oh yeah, edit whore.

    Comment by Arn — April 1, 2008 @ 12:14 pm | Reply

  59. Oh and they put it back, all filtered. So what is a PSRDOT?

    Comment by Arn — April 1, 2008 @ 12:15 pm | Reply

  60. Dear Armand,

    What exactly has my hair ever done to you? My hairdresser, Mr. Francois, has been doing The Taffy™ for 20 years and it has remained the most imitated style ever since, even surpassing “wings” and “The Jennifer” in popularity.

    In His Salon,

    Mrs. T.D. Gaines-Crockett
    Foremost Authority on All Things Biblical and Conservative

    Comment by Mrs. T.D. Gaines-Crockett — April 1, 2008 @ 12:18 pm | Reply

  61. “Actually, he looks a little like you do. Darker hair, of course.”
    Ah, so no ass to speak of.
    “Dear Armand,

    What exactly has my hair ever done to you? My hairdresser, Mr. Francois, has been doing The Taffy™ for 20 years and it has remained the most imitated style ever since, even surpassing “wings” and “The Jennifer” in popularity.

    In His Salon,

    Mrs. T.D. Gaines-Crockett
    Foremost Authority on All Things Biblical and Conservative”

    Ah, but your hair has done me no wrongs, Mrs. TD, quite the contrary, it has supplied me many a good laugh.
    As for Francois, I cannot claim to know anything of his salon or the patronage thereof, but if they all get hair like that, maybe it is in an area with a high concentration of eighties fans.

    Comment by Armand Jean du Plessis de Richelieu — April 1, 2008 @ 12:30 pm | Reply

  62. You deleted my post for telling your religion is blinding all of you who baleive this moron?You have now hit an all time low.

    Comment by cammanfia — April 1, 2008 @ 1:30 pm | Reply

  63. You deleted my post for telling your religion is blinding all of you who baleive this moron?

    What are you talking about? Nobody deleted your blasphemy. You probably just imagined that you wrote some brilliant comment that never existed. Everything you’ve said so far has been absolute drivel anyway. Now put away your hanky and get on with life.

    Comment by Psycheout — April 1, 2008 @ 2:27 pm | Reply

  64. Dear Cammanfia,

    This blog logs over 500 posts per hour at peak times so there is a slight chance that it has been accidentally mis-categorized as file 13 by a Moderater. I will have tech support get right on it, dear.

    Thank you for your continued support and remember, dear, May the Good Lord touch you in places you never knew you had.

    Comment by Mrs. T.D. Gaines-Crockett — April 1, 2008 @ 2:27 pm | Reply

  65. “May the Good Lord touch you in places you never knew you had.”
    um

    what?

    Comment by Elephant Bones — April 1, 2008 @ 3:05 pm | Reply

  66. Wow…you’re senile that proves it.

    Comment by cammanfia — April 1, 2008 @ 5:01 pm | Reply

  67. Wait blashemy?I didn’t say there was no religion I just said…nevermind you would never understand.

    Comment by cammanfia — April 1, 2008 @ 5:02 pm | Reply

  68. May the Good Lord touch you in places you never knew you had.

    *plays some Sexual Healing*

    My hairdresser, Mr. Francois[…]

    …is probably gay, so double-standard much? =P

    Comment by Dio Brando — April 1, 2008 @ 9:36 pm | Reply

  69. Ms. Crockett: “Desu” is Japanese for “yes” or “it is.” A character in the anime series Rozen Maiden often added an unnecessary “desu” to the end of her sentences when speaking, and as a result, 4chan appropriated the word “desu” as a source of annoying cuteness. Also, the last time the Lord touched a lady in places she never knew she had, she ended up pregnant with a homeless liberal Jewish carpenter who got killed for telling the truth. And it’s spelled “moderator,” love.

    Also, Psycheout, Ms. Crockett willingly admitted that her primary reason to go to church on Resurrection Day (the word “Easter” is pagan–give us our holiday back!) was to look pretty in her new dress. Worshiping God, and celebrating the resurrection of Jesus Christ, was second to her desire to parade around in her fancy-schmancy Easter bonnet. That doesn’t sound very devout to me.

    Comment by L — April 3, 2008 @ 8:57 am | Reply

  70. “Also, the last time the Lord touched a lady in places she never knew she had, she ended up pregnant with a homeless liberal Jewish carpenter who got killed for telling the truth.”
    Zing!

    Comment by Elephant Bones — April 3, 2008 @ 12:22 pm | Reply

  71. Also, Psycheout, Ms. Crockett willingly admitted that her primary reason to go to church on Resurrection Day (the word “Easter” is pagan–give us our holiday back!) was to look pretty in her new dress. Worshiping God, and celebrating the resurrection of Jesus Christ, was second to her desire to parade around in her fancy-schmancy Easter bonnet. That doesn’t sound very devout to me.

    What is it to you Miss Tattle Tale? I am at church every single time the doors are open worshipping louder and more enthusiastically than anyone else there. Therefore, I hardly think God minds one little bit if I, His most dedicated servant, want to look pretty for the Easter Service.

    I take back every kind word I said about your blue gingham Easter dress being pretty. It sounds cheap, perfectly awful, and without question off the rack.

    Comment by Mrs. T.D. Gaines-Crockett — April 3, 2008 @ 3:13 pm | Reply

  72. You know Taffy, I find that the most appropriate and attractive outfit for church is a nice royal blue shirt with oversized white collar and ornate sleeves (Lace not a bad touch, either) combined with a flowing red gown (The color of Jesus’s blood, of course) and matching skull cap. Of course, one must add the gold cross over all.
    I’ll include a link, which I will not put in HTML because of my lack of trust in the demons known as computers, but I’m sure that Ed Note will kindly fix that for me.

    Comment by Armand Jean du Plessis de Richelieu — April 3, 2008 @ 3:53 pm | Reply

  73. Dearest Armand,

    I have not seen that much red taffeta on one person since 2002 when my dear friend, Mrs. Heather Hardwick, showed up to a Valentines formal at the club looking like an enormous camellia blossom. Some women, especially those of her circumference, shouldn’t wear anything but black pinstripes. Ever.

    A regal looking outfit, indeed, but a bit on the feminine side for a man don’t you think. It reminds me of that horrid pope wearing those red patent leather Prada slippers!

    Comment by Mrs. T.D. Gaines-Crockett — April 3, 2008 @ 4:08 pm | Reply

  74. Oh, but a regal show is just part of the fun! It may be slightly effeminate, but I hear that that is the style these days. Besides, I think that the beard helps counter that, leaving no doubt to either my gender or importance.

    Comment by Armand Jean du Plessis de Richelieu — April 3, 2008 @ 4:11 pm | Reply

  75. “I am at church every single time the doors are open worshiping louder and more enthusiastically than anyone else there.”
    Be careful not to do your ‘acts of righteousness’ before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.

    Comment by Elephant Bones — April 3, 2008 @ 4:13 pm | Reply

  76. 9″This, then, is how you should pray:
    ” ‘Our Father in heaven,
    hallowed be your name,
    10your kingdom come,
    your will be done
    on earth as it is in heaven.
    11Give us today our daily bread.
    12Forgive us our debts,
    as we also have forgiven our debtors.
    13And lead us not into temptation,
    but deliver us from the evil one.[a]’ 14For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

    Fixed it for you, dear.

    Comment by Mrs. T.D. Gaines-Crockett — April 3, 2008 @ 4:20 pm | Reply

  77. You just posted the Lord’s prayer, which advocates mercy and forgiveness, neither of which i have ever seen on this blog.

    Comment by Elephant Bones — April 3, 2008 @ 6:08 pm | Reply

  78. That’s not exactly the same prayer that’s in my bible, which version did you copy that out of? (Definately not the KJV)

    Comment by Arn — April 3, 2008 @ 6:12 pm | Reply

  79. You just posted the Lord’s prayer, which advocates mercy and forgiveness, neither of which i have ever seen on this blog.

    Not true, EB. I found right here where forgiveness was clearly expressed by one of our own:

    bobcorker — March 3, 2008 @ 9:24 pm , “And I forgive you for causing Arn to go in a hissy fit.”

    I am currently searching for mercy.

    In His Service,

    Auntie Taffy

    Comment by Mrs. T.D. Gaines-Crockett — April 3, 2008 @ 6:19 pm | Reply

  80. To Crockett,
    “I am at church every single time the doors are open worshipping louder and more enthusiastically than anyone else there.” – Gula (Gluttony), Superbia (Pride)
    “I, His most dedicated servant,” – Superbia (Pride)
    “want to look pretty for the Easter Service.” – Avarita (Greed)

    “I take back every kind word I said about your blue gingham Easter dress being pretty. It sounds cheap, perfectly awful, and without question off the rack.” – Ira (Wrath), Invidia (Evny)

    hmmm, for someone so “religious,” you just throw around your deadly sins.
    A word of advise from a *real* christian (not because of the deadly sins thing but from reading the rest of the comments and the origional blog) you and psycheout should limit the rascism, stereotyping, hate-mongering, and everything else clearly wrong that you guys do. I doubt Kami would like that.
    (“Kami” – God in Japanese, what Japanese christians call Him. Be aware that Japanese christians exist in scores because I read the blog after this one and it was rascist enough to get yourself down into one of the lower rings.)

    Comment by Kanjo — June 1, 2008 @ 7:03 pm | Reply

  81. wow that interview was so fake

    Comment by Caroline — October 5, 2008 @ 5:29 am | Reply

  82. This interview can be shoved up his arse. Fail stereotyping is fail. There is no point arguing with the people here, they are too short-minded and unintelligent to change their mind.

    Comment by The Face — February 21, 2009 @ 10:54 pm | Reply


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