Blogs 4 Brownback

March 8, 2008

Special B4B Announcement

I’m starting a completely new job on Monday, which will involve commuting for about 2 hours each day.  I will, essentially, be at work from 5 am until 7 pm.  I am going to try to continue posting in the evenings, but if you notice a drop in the number of posts per week, here is the explanation.

 On a related note, BJ Tabor, Bob Corker, Marty McPain, and any of the other decent American Christians who frequent this site and do not yet have posting privileges here, please send me an email if you are interested in becoming contributors to the site.

 Thank you for your time.

55 Comments »

  1. On a related note, BJ Tabor, Bob Corker, Marty McPain, and any of the other decent American Christians

    You mean “racists”.

    Have fun being a midnight cowboy.

    Comment by Dio Brando — March 8, 2008 @ 9:13 pm | Reply

  2. “please send me an email if you are interested in becoming contributors to the site.”
    YES, I want to hear Marty’s threads. They’d be funnier than the 4chan archive.

    Comment by Elephant Bones — March 8, 2008 @ 11:17 pm | Reply

  3. They’d be funnier than the 4chan archive.

    Seconded.

    Comment by The Nobody — March 8, 2008 @ 11:47 pm | Reply

  4. good luck with your new job, Sisyphus. May it enlighten you.

    Comment by dandus — March 9, 2008 @ 4:33 am | Reply

  5. Congratulations dear, Sisyphus. Verily the Lord has blessed you with a powerful position in which you can guide and lead America into becoming a stronger Conservative, Christian nation. Know that my family is so proud of you and will be praying for your succsss. This is a little prayer I use when I travel. I suggest that you memorize it as I have.

    BEFORE OR AFTER GETTING INTO ANY VEHICLE, PRAY THIS:

    IN JESUS NAME, I COVER MYSELF IN THE BLOOD OF JESUS. I COVER THIS VEHICLE AND THE ROAD I TRAVEL IN THE BLOOD OF JESUS. I TAKE AUTHORITY AND DOMINION OVER ALL ANIMALS AND DEMONS OF THE ROAD SO THEY DO NOT CROSS MY PATH. I DISPATCH ANGELS AHEAD OF ME TO PROTECT ME.

    Amen

    Comment by Mrs. T.D. Gaines-Crockett — March 9, 2008 @ 7:24 am | Reply

  6. “BEFORE OR AFTER GETTING INTO ANY VEHICLE, PRAY THIS:

    IN JESUS NAME, I COVER MYSELF IN THE BLOOD OF JESUS. I COVER THIS VEHICLE AND THE ROAD I TRAVEL IN THE BLOOD OF JESUS. I TAKE AUTHORITY AND DOMINION OVER ALL ANIMALS AND DEMONS OF THE ROAD SO THEY DO NOT CROSS MY PATH. I DISPATCH ANGELS AHEAD OF ME TO PROTECT ME.

    Amen”
    Because using cruise control for cool is totally going to protect you

    Comment by Elephant Bones — March 9, 2008 @ 2:40 pm | Reply

  7. I would have thought that be covered in blood, especially Jesus’s one, is more typical to satanists than to christian.
    Also, here in Italy prayers usually ask jesus, god, virgin mary or a saint to grant protection, power, wisdom et cetera, don’t claim to have it per se.

    IMHO, you Americans have weird prayers😉

    Comment by dandus — March 9, 2008 @ 4:11 pm | Reply

  8. I always sacrifice a small goat on the hood before driving anywhere. Haven’t had a wreck or demonic invasion yet.

    Comment by anonymouslulz408 — March 9, 2008 @ 5:37 pm | Reply

  9. “IMHO, you Americans have weird prayers”
    Please don’t assume that all Americans are like Lady Crockett. She’s a special case, and by special, and i mean special ed

    Comment by Elephant Bones — March 9, 2008 @ 7:35 pm | Reply

  10. You are the sweetest thing, Elephant Bones. I think you are very special spirt too, dear.

    Comment by Mrs. T.D. Gaines-Crockett — March 10, 2008 @ 7:36 am | Reply

  11. @ Elephant Bones: I lived in America for four months, I know how Americans are. I don’t assume all American are anti-freedom conservatives😉, though most people I met there were easily fooled by the media, I was just pointing that while on this site being American, or even Christian, is considered to be necessary condition for being a good person, coating oneself in blood is not something “good people” would do.

    @Lady Crockett: I don’t think EB wanted to be offensive, he was just pointing out that America’s dwellers are very eterougenous (I’m not sure i spelt this last word correctly. I meant they are variegated, that is there are many kinds of people in America).

    Comment by dandus — March 10, 2008 @ 9:12 am | Reply

  12. April 20th.

    Be ready.

    Mod Note: Do you refer to the SF Savage or COS protest?

    Comment by Anonymous — March 10, 2008 @ 11:04 am | Reply

  13. Dear Dandus,

    Well aren’t you just the kindest thing for noticing that. I do appreciate your comment to me.

    I do realize that, dear EB wasn’t being offensive in the least, he just likes to pull my pigtails now and again for fun like all young men do whenwhen they have a crush on an attractive woman.

    All my life I have had men flirting with me due to my natural good looks and sweet nature, and as flattering as their intentions may be, what they fail to remember is that I am almost old enough to be a slightly-older sister and very happily married.

    May you have a blessed day out doing whatever it is that you do.

    Sincerely,

    Mrs. T.D. Gaines-Crockett

    Comment by Mrs. T.D. Gaines-Crockett — March 10, 2008 @ 11:10 am | Reply

  14. I do realize that, dear EB wasn’t being offensive in the least, he just likes to pull my pigtails now and again for fun like all young men do whenwhen they have a crush on an attractive woman.

    Comment by Mrs. T.D. Gaines-Crockett — March 10, 2008 @ 11:10 am

    …yeah, you keep thinking that.

    Comment by TrogdortheEnlightened — March 10, 2008 @ 11:48 am | Reply

  15. “like all young men do when they have a crush on an attractive woman.”
    Sorry, sunshine, I don’t find bloodbathers particularly attractive. Besides, I have a girlfriend, and she’s more a lady than you could ever hope.

    “he just likes to pull my pigtails now and again”
    With an name as long as yours, you don’t need a proportionately ridiculous hairstyle.

    Comment by Elephant Bones — March 10, 2008 @ 12:36 pm | Reply

  16. Now EB, there is no cause for you to get embarrassed or flushed in the cheeks over this. Having reigned as Mrs. Christian USA for the last 12 consecutive years and NRA Woman of the Year since 1998, I have come to expect the glances of men everywhere. You cannot control it as most of your thinking comes from downstairs.

    Anyway, I imagine that the object of your affection is a lovely girl and hope that the two of you enjoy your courtship. There is nothing as pure and innocent as young love. When you decide to make her an honest woman, I fully expect an invitaiton to the wedding and will be sure to dress down so as not to take away from her special day.

    Bless you.

    Comment by Mrs. T.D. Gaines-Crockett — March 10, 2008 @ 1:37 pm | Reply

  17. You know Elephant Bones, you could show a little bit more self control. I didn’t want to mention it but now it came up, your mashing on dear Mrs. T.D. Gaines-Crockett has been pretty darn obvious for a while. I mean I can understand it, what guy wouldn’t notice Mrs. T.D. the way she can handle an AR15? Still, try to show some class guy.

    Comment by BJ Tabor — March 10, 2008 @ 4:01 pm | Reply

  18. “like all young men do when they have a crush on an attractive woman.”

    I don’t mean to demolish your perception of yourself, but there is not even a picture of you here, except your avatar, which still is too small to tell
    how you look. I don’t think EB had been that impressed by your look, as he can’t even know how you look like.

    Comment by dandus — March 10, 2008 @ 4:24 pm | Reply

  19. Having reigned as Mrs. Christian USA for the last 12 consecutive years and NRA Woman of the Year since 1998

    The latter is quite the lie, with links as proof in my next comment.

    The former? True, but not quite. See, “Taffy”(okay, I admit that’s an awesome name) here is part of the LBC, and shopped her head onto an actual winner(unless you have some awesome tan ONLY from the neck down, lack a neck).

    And then I realized that I’ve heard of the LBC before.

    The LBC is a web site that serves as the home of a l[1] Baptist church based in the Iowa. The LBC site and its associated LBC.net forum are a fundamentalist Christianity and the Religious Right in the USA, and of Westboro Baptist Church in particular.

    From the site itself: “The LBC a complete work of God. It is a Republican. When you use LBC.org and/or LBC.com you are agreeing and consenting to these terms and conditions of use which we, at our sole discretion, may change in any way at any time.”

    (taken from the site’s own TOS)

    T.D., good buddy, you just gave total proof of B4B’s nature.

    Comment by Dio Brando — March 10, 2008 @ 7:34 pm | Reply

  20. Now, for my proof:

    On the matter of guns.

    Shoop da woop.

    Wiki.

    LBC’s Terms of Service.

    Comment by Dio Brando — March 10, 2008 @ 7:36 pm | Reply

  21. “I fully expect an invitaiton to the wedding”
    Hehehehe, no.

    “I mean I can understand it, what guy wouldn’t notice Mrs. T.D. the way she can handle an AR15?”
    Well, I’ll give you that much. Just so long as she never shoots at anyone.

    “I have come to expect the glances of men everywhere.”
    Sounds like an ego in need of deflating.

    “your mashing on dear Mrs. T.D. Gaines-Crockett has been pretty darn obvious for a while.”
    lol wut?

    Comment by Elephant Bones — March 11, 2008 @ 12:03 am | Reply

  22. Elephant Bones, you seem like a good enough kid and I admire your style, but you are putting up an awful big fuss about how much you dislike TD when it’s obvious that you have a crush on her. Me thinks thou doest protest too much which is always a clue that you are secretly in love with someone. The only shame in with your infatuation with TD is that you know she is married and adultery is a sin. Same thing goes for Dio Brando, you need to stop longing for a woman that you will never have.

    Comment by Connie Mack — March 11, 2008 @ 9:41 am | Reply

  23. “but you are putting up an awful big fuss about how much you dislike TD when it’s obvious that you have a crush on her.”
    You know, I never said I disliked her, per se. I don’t know where you’re getting that impression.

    “which is always a clue that you are secretly in love with someone.”
    The only three people I love are my girlfriend, Captain America, and Optimus Prime.

    Comment by Elephant Bones — March 11, 2008 @ 12:13 pm | Reply

  24. Same thing goes for Dio Brando, you need to stop longing for a woman that you will never have.

    You can have her, especially since I already proved that she’s actually a writer with the LBC psrodt site. She’s not on your side. This parrot is no more. It has ceased to be, and so on.

    I already have someone I love dearly, and I share The World(time is frozen!) with her.

    Comment by Dio Brando — March 11, 2008 @ 12:44 pm | Reply

  25. From the site itself: “The LBC a complete work of God. It is a Republican. When you use LBC.org and/or LBC.com you are agreeing and consenting to these terms and conditions of use which we, at our sole discretion, may change in any way at any time.”

    Nice job editing what I quoted, “Ed Note is a farg”. You could’ve at least edited it to make sense. “It is a Republican”? What, are we dabbling in Engrish now?

    LBC = PSRODT.

    Comment by Dio Brando — March 11, 2008 @ 12:47 pm | Reply

  26. Dear Mr. Brando,

    For your information I am in no way affiliated with any website but the handful of decent Christian-Republicans sites such as this one and my own. The internet is filled with cruel lies, dear, so don’t believe everything you see.

    Best of luck with your little girlfriend. I trust you remember the purity pledge you took in high school and never go on a date without a decent Christian (Republican Baptist) chaperone. Your Auntie Crockett would be more than happy to accompany you two to an ice cream social or Young Republicans charity skeet shoot. All you need to do is ask, dear.

    Gods Grace to you,

    Mrs. T.D. Gaines-Crockett

    Comment by Mrs. T.D. Gaines-Crockett — March 11, 2008 @ 1:15 pm | Reply

  27. Best of luck with your little girlfriend. I trust you remember the purity pledge you took in high school and never go on a date without a decent Christian (Republican Baptist) chaperone. Your Auntie Crockett would be more than happy to accompany you two to an ice cream social or Young Republicans charity skeet shoot. All you need to do is ask, dear.

    I’m older than you– do your research on my name. The only pledge I have ever taken is to learn to use The World to freeze time as long as I like. I’m up to five seconds. It won’t be much longer until I can surpass that. And then it shall rain steamrollers upon those who would sully the name of Jesus by committing genocide.

    Comment by Dio Brando — March 11, 2008 @ 2:50 pm | Reply

  28. Make sure not to let any leftist imposters get posting privileges, Sisyphus. Lord knows there are enough of them around here.

    Comment by Marcia P. — March 11, 2008 @ 2:56 pm | Reply

  29. Like T.D., eh?

    Comment by Dio Brando — March 11, 2008 @ 3:08 pm | Reply

  30. Dio @ “I’m older than you– do your research on my name.”

    Great, another idiot who thinks he is a character in an anime cartoon.

    Comment by BJ Tabor — March 11, 2008 @ 4:09 pm | Reply

  31. Great, another idiot who thinks he is a character in an anime cartoon

    Great, another idiot who is an idiot. Humor would’ve been key #1.

    Comment by Dio Brando — March 11, 2008 @ 4:26 pm | Reply

  32. “I trust you remember the purity pledge you took in high school”
    What purity pledge?

    “never go on a date without a decent Christian (Republican Baptist) chaperone”
    screw that

    “Your Auntie Crockett would be more than happy to accompany you two to an ice cream social or Young Republicans charity skeet shoot. All you need to do is ask, dear.”
    Should i ever abandon good sense and actually take my girlfriend to one of those events, I’ll be sure to look you up.

    Comment by EB — March 11, 2008 @ 5:20 pm | Reply

  33. Dio @ “Great, another idiot who is an idiot. Humor would’ve been key #1.”

    Dio, I am a true and good Christian. I have no time for childish jokes and lame attempts at humor.

    Comment by BJ Tabor — March 11, 2008 @ 5:24 pm | Reply

  34. I have no time for childish jokes and lame attempts at humor.

    Meanwhile, you post here…

    Comment by Dio Brando — March 11, 2008 @ 5:43 pm | Reply

  35. I really appreciate the nice comment and I hope to be able to contribute in a serious way to this blog.

    However, you may note from my last post that I am having my own crisis of faith and am beginning to question if I am really special in the eyes of God.

    I used to KNOW unquestioningly that God loved me and that I was saved and that all the crappy riff-raff that was going to hell were like dirt under my feet … but now I feel that God is beating me and whipping me and sticking needles in my ears and eyebrows.

    And, I am happy to do this for the Lord, but, and this is the bad part, I am beginning to feel selfish and greedy and want HIM to start paying me off right now!

    I want a new car and a new house and a new set of bling…and I know I deserve this because God loves me… but… when the heck is it going to get here?

    So I need to work on my faults and have been spending most of my time in my prayer closet and so I don’t know how much I can post.

    Comment by Marty McPain — March 11, 2008 @ 6:43 pm | Reply

  36. I used to KNOW unquestioningly that God loved me and that I was saved and that all the crappy riff-raff that was going to hell were like dirt under my feet … but now I feel that God is beating me and whipping me and sticking needles in my ears and eyebrows.

    You need to learn how to flow like water. Prayer only works if you seek a trance effect from the willpower you place into connecting to God.

    God does not grant. At best, God is willing to slightly alter the flow of things– there is no understanding the divine, remember? Every religion has this as key– that there is a balance to all things, so what sounds like evil, may end up doing good(a massacre getting people together afterward to join forces and fight bigotry, for example).

    The point behind flowing like water is that when you can fully achieve it, you cannot be harmed by things. Any and all attacks that come at you, you use against the attacker. They throw a punch, you don’t dodge. Instead, you pull their punch toward you, and use their own force to injure them(like flipping them over your shoulder).

    Prayer cannot save you of your faults, unless you concentrate on changing yourself.

    Also:

    I want a new car and a new house and a new set of bling…

    Where the hood where the hood where the hood at? Have that ____ in the cut with the wood at? Oh, them ____ actin’ up, where the wolves at? You better BUST THAT if you gon’ pull that

    Comment by Dio Brando — March 11, 2008 @ 9:32 pm | Reply

  37. “I want a new car and a new house and a new set of bling…and I know I deserve this because God loves me… but… when the heck is it going to get here?”
    I’m gonna break my former rule of not feeding confirmed trolls to reply to this particular quote

    …bling?

    Comment by Elephant Bones — March 11, 2008 @ 9:32 pm | Reply

  38. yeah, bling…

    new rolex, new pinky ring, new chain, and something for the missus.

    Comment by Marty McPain — March 12, 2008 @ 7:42 am | Reply

  39. Oh Lord,

    I know that you can hear me.

    Please look kindly upon your dedicated servant and send me a 2008 Hummer H2, with the Chrome Body package and the SUT Top mount Magnuson intercooled supercharger. I would like the all-terrain blue color, but will accept Solar Flare Metallic.

    Thak you Lord, in advance.

    Comment by Marty McPain — March 12, 2008 @ 9:04 am | Reply

  40. Marty,

    Stay strong with the Lord brother! Remember God allowed Satan to test Job so God is probably doing the same thing for you too. Instead of lamenting the obstacles our Lord places in your way you should be rejoicing at them. This means God considers you such a good guy He is showing you off to the unsaved. I can only pray the that the unsaved, scum eating filth we call the unsaved follow your example of Christian humility and be inspired to seek out Jesus themselves Marty.

    Comment by BJ Tabor — March 12, 2008 @ 10:08 am | Reply

  41. Marty:

    You don’t want God to send you that Hummer. The gas expenses are INSANE. There are several great hybrid SUV’s however, and with the gas money you save you can buy a Bible and actually read it for once.

    Comment by L — March 12, 2008 @ 3:18 pm | Reply

  42. What’s icy and distant and comes only once every 75 years?

    A Republican’s wife.

    Comment by anonymouslulz408 — March 12, 2008 @ 3:38 pm | Reply

  43. “Dio, I am a true and good Christian”

    Just as much as I am planet Jupiter. A christian should not be vain, don’t be bloodlusted (probably misspelled the latter), be forgiving, and for Galactus sake he would inform himself before speaking. Snowboarding is just as sinful as baking cakes, and waterboarding is not related at all to it.

    Comment by dandus — March 12, 2008 @ 4:49 pm | Reply

  44. “What’s icy and distant and comes only once every 75 years?

    A Republican’s wife.”
    rofl

    Comment by Elephant Bones — March 12, 2008 @ 4:52 pm | Reply

  45. Oh lord, wont you buy me a mercedes benz ?
    My friends all drive porsches, I must make amends.
    Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends,
    So lord, wont you buy me a mercedes benz ?

    Oh lord, wont you buy me a color tv ?
    Dialing for dollars is trying to find me.
    I wait for delivery each day until three,
    So oh lord, wont you buy me a color tv ?

    Oh lord, wont you buy me a night on the town ?
    Im counting on you, lord, please dont let me down.
    Prove that you love me and buy the next round,
    Oh lord, wont you buy me a night on the town ?

    Everybody!
    Oh lord, wont you buy me a mercedes benz ?
    My friends all drive porsches, I must make amends,
    Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends,
    So oh lord, wont you buy me a mercedes benz ?

    Comment by Dio Brando — March 12, 2008 @ 8:49 pm | Reply

  46. Ah Dio, thank you for posting that, now I need to track down my Janis CD (Still can’t stand the shiny devils) and give that an listen to.

    Comment by Armand Jean du Plessis de Richelieu — March 12, 2008 @ 10:22 pm | Reply

  47. Check out Concrete Blonde’s cover of it. Seriously beautiful.

    Comment by Dio Brando — March 13, 2008 @ 12:02 am | Reply

  48. Anyone who insults TD Gaines-Crockett by linking to a spoof website is no gentleman at all. You people should be ashamed of yourselves, and if we ever meet in public, we may have to step outside over this one. I won’t tolerate this level of incivility or ungracious conduct around women of character. It’s completely unacceptable.

    Comment by Sisyphus — March 13, 2008 @ 4:54 am | Reply

  49. Bless you, Sisyphus. I take comfort in your words just as I do these from the Holy Bible, “The breath of our nostrils, the anointed of the LORD, was taken in their pits, of whom we said, Under his shadow we shall live among the heathen” – Lamentations chapter 4 verse 20.

    Verily we will rise up and declare victory for the Lord on election day when a Republican-Christian takes office! Praise!

    Comment by Mrs. T.D. Gaines-Crockett — March 13, 2008 @ 3:42 pm | Reply

  50. Anyone who insults TD Gaines-Crockett by linking to a spoof website is no gentleman at all.

    What, a site she works for, and praised on her own to begin with?

    Oh, and a gentleman can’t be someone who ritualistically beats his wife, Sisy. I suggest putting your fist down, and learning to accept that a good wife is someone who shares passion, intelligence, and willpower. A good wife is someone who is there not because it’s required by anything, but because she to-the-core wants to be there.

    Gosh, what horrible liberal ideas, right?

    Comment by Dio Brando — March 13, 2008 @ 3:54 pm | Reply

  51. When did I ever say I beat my wife, Dio? That comment is libelous, and I demand an apology.

    Comment by Sisyphus — March 13, 2008 @ 4:21 pm | Reply

  52. When did I ever say I beat my wife, Dio? That comment is libelous, and I demand an apology.

    Well, never mind the “oh, she slipped on ice and injured her leg heavily”, are you not the one who wrote “God’s Plan for Your Wife- Barefoot and Pregnant”? Does it not contain bible quotes that note that a good wife is one who is silent and dumb? I’m not saying you’re Bob Corker or Marty McPain, but keeping a wife silent and stupid is every bit as abusive as striking them across the face with a closed fist. If they enjoy that? Well, more power to them, I guess.

    You see, this little wife-beating assumption that I’ve made of you is equal to every single assumption you and the rest of the B4B regulars make of me.

    Comment by Dio Brando — March 13, 2008 @ 5:41 pm | Reply

  53. “On a related note, BJ Tabor, Bob Corker, Marty McPain, and any of the other decent American Christians

    You mean “racists”.

    Have fun being a midnight cowboy.”

    Comment by Dio Brando — March 8, 2008 @ 9:13 pm

    Apparently B4B love’s their little Nazi’s.

    Comment by spacebrother — March 14, 2008 @ 2:38 pm | Reply

  54. “Check out Concrete Blonde’s cover of it. Seriously beautiful.”
    Thank you for that recommendation, I always love findign a good cover of a great song.

    Comment by Armand Jean du Plessis de Richelieu — March 18, 2008 @ 11:11 pm | Reply

  55. Welcome. I find Concrete Blonde to be one of the most amazing and talented bands out there– Johnette Napolitano found an amazing way to incorporate the spirit of mexican art in a number of her songs, which no one has yet to match(Mexican Moon being a shiny example).

    Comment by Dio Brando — March 19, 2008 @ 12:01 am | Reply


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