Blogs 4 Brownback

February 4, 2008

God’s Plan for Your Wife- Barefoot and Pregnant

Barefoot and PregnantThe problem with Hillary Clinton extends beyond the fact that she’s a Communist, or that her husband is a Communist rapist who murdered Vince Foster in the Lincoln Bedroom. It even extends beyond the fact that she intends to establish a Communist state after she’s stolen the White House and overthrown the American Christian republic.

No, the real problem with Hillary is that she’s a demon. She may not have been born one, but at some point in her life she made a compact with Satan in which she traded her immortal soul for worldly power.

Why anyone would make such a short-sighted bargain is not for us to discern. What is important, is that God has a plan for all of us, including women. Hillary stands in direct opposition to that plan.

What is that plan? Well, we do have a chance to find out. God has given us His plan in the Bible:

But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman [is] the man; and the head of Christ [is] God. -I Corinthians 11:3

Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man. -I Corinthians 11:9

Some might argue that God did not write these words, that St. Paul did. Technically speaking, that is true. However, Paul was inspired by God when he wrote them. And his words are corroborated not only in the New Testament, but also in the Old Testament, which is unequivocably written by God:

“And the daughter of any priest, if she profane herself by playing the whore, she profaneth her father: she shall be burnt with fire.” (Leviticus 21:9)

“When men strive together one with another, and the wife of the one draweth near for to deliver her husband out of the hand of him that smiteth him, and putteth forth her hand, and taketh him by the secrets: then thou shalt cut off her hand, thine eye shall not pity her.” (Deuteronomy 25:11-12)

“Speak unto the children of Israel, saying, If a woman have conceived seed, and born a man child: then she shall be unclean seven days; according to the days of the separation for her infirmity shall she be unclean.” (Leviticus 12:2)

“But if she bear a maid child, then she shall be unclean two weeks, as in her separation: and she shall continue in the blood of her purifying threescore and six days.” (Leviticus 12:5)

“Let the women learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.” (I Timothy 2:11-14)

“If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel’s father fifty shekels of silvers, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days.” (Deuteronomy 22:28-29)

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.” (Ephesians 5:22-24)

“Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.” (I Corinthians 14:34-35)

Unto the woman He [God] said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.” (Genesis 3:16)

“Give me any plague, but the plague of the heart: and any wickedness, but the wickedness of a woman.” (Eccles. 25:13)

“Of the woman came the beginning of sin, and through her we all die.” (Eccles. 25:22)

The whoredom of a woman may be known in her haughty looks and eyelids. If thy daughter be shameless, keep her in straitly, lest she abuse herself through overmuch liberty.” (Eccles. 26:9-10)

A silent and loving woman is a gift of the Lord: and there is nothing so much worth as a mind well instructed. A shamefaced and faithful woman is a double grace, and her continent mind cannot be valued.” (Eccles. 26:14-15)

“A shameless woman shall be counted as a dog; but she that is shamefaced will fear the Lord.” (Eccles.26:25)

“For from garments cometh a moth, and from women wickedness. Better is the churlishness of a man than a courteous woman, a woman, I say, which bringeth shame and reproach.” (Eccles. 42:13-14)

I emphasized the most important passages for our purposes. Clearly, God’s plan is for our wives and our daughters to remain our most faithful, loyal, and trusting servants. They must bear strong children as often as possible. They must remember their place, and honor their men, that they may merit the honor true men always accord women who are not harlots or Hippies or degenerate Satanist Communist beasts like Hillary and Britney Spears and Madonna. Any woman who does not follow God’s plan, is in league with Satan, the enemy of God and the enemy of America.

For women who do not choose to follow the path God has set for us all, there are ways for society to deal with them. Satanist witches would undoubtedly find those ways most unpleasant, but the Bible is quite specific:

“Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live. Whoever lieth with a beast shall surely be put to death. He that sacrificeth unto any god, save to the LORD only, he shall be utterly destroyed.” (Exodus 22:18-20)

Any woman who dabbles in Satanism or demonism must face a harsh punishment. The men who do the same, warlocks, shall suffer a similar retribution.

We must all do our part to keep America safe from Satanism and other deviancies. The Brownback write-in campaign is God’s plan for this great nation; if we choose to follow the path of folly, God shall smite us accordingly.

Pray for America. Pray for yourselves. A time of troubles is upon us all.

 (I would like to give special thanks to my wife, who helped me find the specific Bible verses.  She’s a decent woman, who strictly follows all Biblical tenets.  Unlike some harlots I’ve met on this blog who shall remain unmentioned, she is a decent Christian who obeys the Lord.)

91 Comments »

  1. “God has a plan for all of us, including women”

    i oppose God’s plan!

    i defend my right to f*** the living daylights out of as many men as i want, whenever i want, and to then NOT commit to them, NOT marry them, and abort the hell out of any fetus that dares to grace my womb.

    “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.”

    first of all, f*** off. second, do you seriously expect me to listen to a 2000 year old work of fiction? excuse me while i piss myself with laughter!

    “Let your women keep silence in the churches”

    i avoid churches – they bring me out in a rash. the last time i went into a church i had sex in a pew with my then boyfriend.

    ”The whoredom of a woman may be known in her haughty looks and eyelids”
    well, i should hope so. makes it easier to get laid. (incidentally – eyelids? WTF? Who wrote this s***?)

    “They must remember their place, and honor their men”

    i only honor my man if he goes down on me first.

    this girl is not getting barefoot and pregnant for nobody.

    Comment by kat — February 4, 2008 @ 3:34 pm | Reply

  2. “i defend my right to f*** the living daylights out of as many men as i want, whenever i want, and to then NOT commit to them, NOT marry them, and abort the hell out of any fetus that dares to grace my womb.”

    Spoken like a true harlot.

    “first of all, f*** off. second, do you seriously expect me to listen to a 2000 year old work of fiction? excuse me while i piss myself with laughter!”

    I will pray for you, but I don’t think it will accomplish much. You’re almost too far gone down the path of sin for hope.

    “i avoid churches – they bring me out in a rash. the last time i went into a church i had sex in a pew with my then boyfriend.”

    You shall be requited in the fullness of time.

    “i only honor my man if he goes down on me first.”

    What does this mean?

    “this girl is not getting barefoot and pregnant for nobody.”

    Then God’s plan will repay you for your blasphemous iniquities as well as your flagrant, unrepentant harlotry.

    Comment by Sisyphus — February 4, 2008 @ 3:43 pm | Reply

  3. “i only honor my man if he goes down on me first.”

    What does this mean?

    —————-

    I’d be happy to help out with a demonstration here.

    Comment by Arn — February 4, 2008 @ 4:00 pm | Reply

  4. “I’d be happy to help out with a demonstration here.”

    Okay, I suppose.

    Comment by Sisyphus — February 4, 2008 @ 4:03 pm | Reply

  5. Fail blogs is fail. GTFO my internet.

    Comment by The Nobody — February 4, 2008 @ 4:04 pm | Reply

  6. It is a well known fact that Hillary Clinton shapeshifts into laundry machines in the laundromat so she can attempt to convert women to lesbianism. Touching Hillary must be akin to a death sentence.

    Amen, Sisyphus. We need to establish a religious police for these harlots that refuse to submit themselves. We also should give out some kind of medal to every woman that has 4 or more children. Women are the backbone of society, and are the crutch the man leans on. When they do not know their places, the man will immediately fall onto the ground, destined to live with welfare queens and Satanists for the rest of his life.

    Comment by bobcorker — February 4, 2008 @ 4:21 pm | Reply

  7. Comment by The Nobody — February 4, 2008 @ 4:25 pm | Reply

  8. “It is a well known fact that Hillary Clinton shapeshifts into laundry machines in the laundromat so she can attempt to convert women to lesbianism.”
    Comment by corksucker

    A well known fact? It’s impossible, but it’s a well known fact.
    It is, however, a well known fact that Corker is a liar.
    Humor us, Corker. Show us just one place that says that, joke site or real, show anything that says Hillary shapeshifts into a washing machine.
    Your idiocy is one of the few constants in the Universe.

    Comment by Arn — February 4, 2008 @ 4:33 pm | Reply

  9. “i only honor my man if he goes down on me first.”
    ————–

    A small price to pay for a little respect, and one that I’m always very happy pay. Over and over and over again.😀

    Comment by Arn — February 4, 2008 @ 4:36 pm | Reply

  10. “Fail blogs is fail. GTFO my internet.”

    Speak English or go back to whatever Pacific island you come from.

    “It is a well known fact that Hillary Clinton shapeshifts into laundry machines in the laundromat so she can attempt to convert women to lesbianism. Touching Hillary must be akin to a death sentence.”

    It’s worse. Death only kills your flesh, not your soul.

    “Amen, Sisyphus. We need to establish a religious police for these harlots that refuse to submit themselves. We also should give out some kind of medal to every woman that has 4 or more children. Women are the backbone of society, and are the crutch the man leans on. When they do not know their places, the man will immediately fall onto the ground, destined to live with welfare queens and Satanists for the rest of his life.”

    True indeed. Women belong in the home, preparing their men for the world. Men belong in the world, ensuring that their women remain safe and do not appear in public with their chests unstrapped to tempt the lusts of other men.

    Comment by Sisyphus — February 4, 2008 @ 5:18 pm | Reply

  11. Still waiting to see something that supports the stupid shapeshifting Hillary remark. Trolling is one thing, but expecting anyone to read that and not think your totally nuts is, well, totally nuts.

    Comment by Arn — February 4, 2008 @ 5:33 pm | Reply

  12. Anarchoreefers like yourself will never be able to see the truth. Satan has completely taken over your body, leaving no trace of the LORD in it, and that is why you can’t make the spiritual connections between Hillary and Satan. It is only logical that she would go to extremes to convert ladies to lesbianism.

    If you don’t pray to the LORD, don’t ask for His revelations by His speakers. It’s as simple as that.

    Comment by bobcorker — February 4, 2008 @ 5:43 pm | Reply

  13. Sisyphus also played a part in His revelation, by expanding on what touching her does to you.

    Comment by bobcorker — February 4, 2008 @ 5:44 pm | Reply

  14. I’m going to assume that “He” is none other than Candlejack. Since if you say his na

    Comment by The Nobody — February 4, 2008 @ 5:47 pm | Reply

  15. NOOOOOOO!! He got another one! Damn you, Candlejack! Damn y

    Comment by Anonymous — February 4, 2008 @ 5:49 pm | Reply

  16. Sisy, when a man “goes down on” a women, this means that he preforms cunnilingus on her.

    when a woman “goes down on” a man, this means that she preforms fellatio on him.

    hope this helps.

    Comment by kat — February 4, 2008 @ 6:24 pm | Reply

  17. i love this site.

    Comment by kat — February 4, 2008 @ 6:26 pm | Reply

  18. “i love this site.”
    never ending lulz, amirite?

    Comment by Elephant Bones — February 4, 2008 @ 7:21 pm | Reply

  19. “Anarchoreefers like yourself will never be able to see the truth. Satan has completely taken over your body, leaving no trace of the LORD in it, and that is why you can’t make the spiritual connections between Hillary and Satan. It is only logical that she would go to extremes to convert ladies to lesbianism.”

    comment by the poster boy for constipated diarrhea.

    Was that stupid remark your support for your previous stupid remark? Your word already means nothing to anyone, so I’m afraid you need more than that to support any claim you make. Face it, you are a LIAR. And about the stupidest animal on the planet.

    Comment by Arn — February 4, 2008 @ 7:28 pm | Reply

  20. I like how Hillary will overthrow the Republic… by winning the popular vote. Horrors!

    Comment by Adam Nelson — February 4, 2008 @ 7:29 pm | Reply

  21. [stupid Stairway To Hell lyrics removed]

    [Ed Note: If you haven’t a relevant point to make in your own words, don’t bother. Don’t spam our threads with heavy metal Satanic lyrics. Thanks in advance.]

    Comment by Elephant Bones — February 4, 2008 @ 7:30 pm | Reply

  22. Syphilis, you’d best slap your mother for speaking out of turn in the past. Let that b**** know that she’s a whore because you believe in the Bible wholeheartedly, and you are certain she has spoken in church in the past, and had an education.

    “[…]her husband is a Communist rapist who murdered Vince Foster in the Lincoln Bedroom.”

    Proof, motherf*cker, do you have it?

    P.S.: Slap your mother again for being a woman, thus committing Original Sin.

    Comment by Dio Brando — February 4, 2008 @ 7:44 pm | Reply

  23. Thanks for those wikipedia links Kat. It’s nice to know that you can find a recipe online for my favorite snack.😀

    Comment by Arn — February 4, 2008 @ 7:46 pm | Reply

  24. @EB
    That song is the best. Led Zeppelin FTW.

    Comment by The Nobody — February 4, 2008 @ 8:00 pm | Reply

  25. “Was that stupid remark your support for your previous stupid remark? Your word already means nothing to anyone, so I’m afraid you need more than that to support any claim you make. Face it, you are a LIAR. And about the stupidest animal on the planet.”

    Whatever, welfare queen. I can guarantee you that I have been enjoying these last few months on this website a lot more than you have. And again, atheist scum should not tell believers what was revealed to them. When we pass a law to stone the pathetic 3% atheists, the other 97% won’t care at all. You atheists are full of anger and are reduced to targeting humble, average Christians like me. We Christians, on the other hand, have control of 99% of the government and business because of our faith in Christ. 10% of prisoners are atheists, 50% of divorcees are atheists, and pretty much every teen pregnancy comes from atheists. When we Christians kick the Democrats off of the Supreme Court entirely, you atheist scum had better start praying, because Christ seeks blood from those who piss in His face.

    Comment by bobcorker — February 4, 2008 @ 8:18 pm | Reply

  26. never ending lulz, amirite?

    What are you talking about, elephant snout? The lulls in posting are occasionally a day or two and we always take Sunday, G-d’s day off. There are no never ending lulls here. So why not just stick a sock in it or start your own blog?

    Comment by Psycheout — February 4, 2008 @ 9:01 pm | Reply

  27. The lulzy thing about this blog is how much it fails. Go back under your bridge, psytroll.

    Comment by The Nobody — February 4, 2008 @ 9:32 pm | Reply

  28. Also, I think you dont have a wife. Enjoy your porn.

    Comment by The Nobody — February 4, 2008 @ 9:34 pm | Reply

  29. Also, the editor knows nothing about music because his/her/its life consisted of being raped in the arse by the preacher with a cross.

    Comment by The Nobody — February 4, 2008 @ 9:37 pm | Reply

  30. “You atheists are full of anger and are reduced to targeting humble, average Christians like me.”

    “When we pass a law to stone the pathetic 3% atheists[…]”

    “Christ seeks blood[…]”

    Who was full of anger, again? Corktard.

    Comment by Dio Brando — February 4, 2008 @ 10:19 pm | Reply

  31. You keep deleting, I keep posting. What will last longer, your patience, or my iPod playlist?

    Comment by Elephant Bones — February 4, 2008 @ 10:45 pm | Reply

  32. ^Well, not my genre of choice, but he’s free to express himself.

    Comment by Elephant Bones — February 4, 2008 @ 10:59 pm | Reply

  33. Keep posting lyrics, Elephant Bones, and you will be banned. This is not a threat.

    From now on, your comments will go into the moderation queue. Spamming is against the rules. And you have violated them several times in the last hour. Don’t make us smack you down with the ban hammer. I am 100% serious.

    Comment by Psycheout — February 4, 2008 @ 11:05 pm | Reply

  34. “Keep posting lyrics, Elephant Bones, and you will be banned. This is not a threat.”

    Whatever

    [lyrics deleted]

    [Psycheout sez: You have posted several more pages of lyrics after being warned and have been banned until further notice. Good riddance.]

    Comment by Elephant Bones — February 4, 2008 @ 11:06 pm | Reply

  35. lol wut

    Comment by Elephant Bones — February 4, 2008 @ 11:18 pm | Reply

  36. banned, you say?

    [Psycheout sez: Yes, you are, stupid. I thought I made that clear earlier.]

    Comment by Elephant Bones — February 4, 2008 @ 11:18 pm | Reply

  37. I don’t feel banned

    [Psycheout sez: I don’t care how you feel. Facts are facts.]

    Comment by Elephant Bones — February 4, 2008 @ 11:18 pm | Reply

  38. Hey Psycheout, you sure you know how to ban someone?

    [Psycheout sez: Have you seen Moxom’s last 100 or so comments? Has anyone seen any of your stupid copy-paste lyrics in the last hour? No? I wonder why. Act like a jerk and you will be treated as one.]

    Comment by Elephant Bones — February 4, 2008 @ 11:22 pm | Reply

  39. If you learn to apologize, I might forget how to ban trolls and spammers like you. lolwut won’t cut it.

    30 comments of off-topic lyric copypasta is considered spam around here. And spam is not tolerated. Ever.

    Consider yourself on a very short leash, little doggie.

    Comments that are respectful and on topic might be let through. The rest will be left in moderation or deleted from now on. Not that you care. But don’t waste your time sending us garbage, because it will go right into the garbage can.

    Good riddance to stupid rubbish.

    We have tolerated you, very politely, for a long time. Then you chose to cross and vomit all over the line. You no longer have the privilege of being automatically approved each time you comment.

    Act like a baby and you will be treated as one. Reap what you sow.

    Comment by Psycheout — February 5, 2008 @ 12:21 am | Reply

  40. “Comments that are respectful and on topic might be let through.”

    What, only people who agree with you, even though 100% of them aren’t respectful toward others?

    Also, in b4 EB says something about seven mothafukin proxies.

    Comment by Dio Brando — February 5, 2008 @ 12:54 am | Reply

  41. careful, EB. you might get banned.

    [Ed Note: Sage advice from Katharine. I suggest you follow it.]

    Comment by kat — February 5, 2008 @ 2:19 am | Reply

  42. “Whatever, welfare queen. I can guarantee you that I have been enjoying these last few months on this website a lot more than you have.”
    comment by corkscrew

    that’s because you enjoy being a wannabe homegrown terrorist. The only reason you are not already on the commission for the prevention of homegrown terrorism’s watch list is because they already know you are a joke and a parody. If you weren’t you would be in custody by now.

    Comment by Arn — February 5, 2008 @ 5:47 am | Reply

  43. lol at Psycheouts empty threats.

    Comment by The Nobody — February 5, 2008 @ 5:51 am | Reply

  44. I take that back. They have already declared this site a parody. Corker and a couple others, however, I’m sure is on their watch list because even if they are a parody, they deny it constantly and still call for the deaths and torture of innocent people.
    Just be careful in all of your other online activities (like going to child porn sites) because you are being watched.

    Comment by Arn — February 5, 2008 @ 6:10 am | Reply

  45. “Christ seeks blood from those who piss on his face”

    Can you tell me where the bible says that?

    “If you learn to apologize, I might forget how to ban trolls and spammers like you. lolwut won’t cut it.”

    Obviously you already forgot how to ban trolls, or you would have banned yourself by now.

    “Comments that are respectful and on topic might be let through. The rest will be left in moderation or deleted from now on.”

    Well, looks like none of your comments can be let through from now on. You haven’t posted a respectful comment since you started this site. Hint: Insults and threats are not respectful. But we all know you are a bunch of chickensh**s so your threats mean nothing, and knowing your stupidity, your insults are compliments.

    Comment by Arn — February 5, 2008 @ 6:22 am | Reply

  46. Psycheout sez: Have you seen Moxom’s last 100 or so comments?

    yup, although I didn’t write 100 comments, since you ain’t THAT important….hope you liked my comments bout divine penises and my rap text….
    whole lotta love to all Zeppelin fans here

    Comment by Jim — February 5, 2008 @ 7:03 am | Reply

  47. Uhh, greetings , MoxoM
    (ps Zeppelin were fantastic at the O2 concert, EB….too bad that the people who write the worst metal-hellfire-death lyrics….namely PsyKKKeout and Ednose and co are too pilotfish minded to see stairway for what it is…..as Plant said in 73….”a song of hope”

    Comment by Jim — February 5, 2008 @ 7:06 am | Reply

  48. “I take that back. They have already declared this site a parody. Corker and a couple others, however, I’m sure is on their watch list because even if they are a parody, they deny it constantly and still call for the deaths and torture of innocent people.”

    No one ever declared this site a parody, troll. Find me that link.

    One time, Tyler Durden or one of the other subsequently-banned trolls posted a fake link from WordPress. For that, they were banned. You won’t find any such statement, because it doesn’t exist. We’re real, troll. We’re real, we vote, and we outnumber you America-hating kooks. Deal with it.

    Comment by Sisyphus — February 5, 2008 @ 11:34 am | Reply

  49. You got nominated for best parody blog once, liar.

    [Sisyphus: So? Your best friends probably nominated you once for smartest person of the year, but that doesn’t change the fact that you can barely finish a shift at work without deep-frying one of your fingers. Some troll like you nominated us- what does that prove?]

    Comment by Jim — February 5, 2008 @ 12:45 pm | Reply

  50. and if you were for real…..well, why haven’t you done one single thing that you preach…..go, blow up the statue of liberty, change Mt Rushmore, kill some Muslims, nuke France, Irak and Iran.

    Big talking, small fry
    You are an overgrown school boy
    Do what you say, and do it right
    You are a sewer rat decaying in a cesspool of pride……

    Lulz for Brownneck….get back
    To Kansas were you once belonged

    With regards from your most fantastic MoxoM

    Comment by Jim — February 5, 2008 @ 12:50 pm | Reply

  51. “Also, in b4 EB says something about seven mothafukin proxies.”
    I can has proxy?

    Comment by Elephant Bones — February 5, 2008 @ 1:08 pm | Reply

  52. lol b&

    Comment by EB — February 5, 2008 @ 1:09 pm | Reply

  53. I love you guys, all of you. You’re like the large dysfunctionial family I never had. I don’t cae if this site is a joke, I still get a good warm feeling when I come here.

    P.S. Kat rocks, she’ll definately be a good poster here.

    Comment by TrogdortheEnlightened — February 5, 2008 @ 1:23 pm | Reply

  54. “[…]we outnumber you America-hating kooks.”

    You bald, bald little man. How can you say you love America when you fight against all it was founded upon and stands for? At what point was America meant to be some massive oppressive Christian GOD’S WARRIOR force?

    I kinda though the Protestants settled here for religious freedom, and then later the revolutionaries fought against unrepresented taxation, as well as to create a land of freedom, built by those who held power not due to blood, but due to intelligence and skills.

    You idiots piss all over the founding fathers, without realizing you’d otherwise still be British subjects under the thumb of the Monarchy. Oh, and lest we forget, the Church of England. You are an enemy of democracy.

    Go become an hero.

    Comment by Dio Brando — February 5, 2008 @ 1:32 pm | Reply

  55. “I love you guys, all of you. You’re like the large dysfunctionial family I never had. I don’t cae if this site is a joke, I still get a good warm feeling when I come here.”

    I love you too, Trogdor. Even if you’re a degenerate moonbat Satanist, Jesus commands me to love you and everyone else.

    “At what point was America meant to be some massive oppressive Christian GOD’S WARRIOR force?”

    When it was founded. Read the Bible. Read the Constitution.

    “I kinda though the Protestants settled here for religious freedom, and then later the revolutionaries fought against unrepresented taxation, as well as to create a land of freedom, built by those who held power not due to blood, but due to intelligence and skills.”

    Who taught your American history class? Karl Marx? America was founded as a Christian nation. The British worshipped the King, they weren’t true Christians at the time. America wanted to be different. We wanted to worship the One True God.

    “You idiots piss all over the founding fathers, without realizing you’d otherwise still be British subjects under the thumb of the Monarchy. Oh, and lest we forget, the Church of England. You are an enemy of democracy.”

    Thank you for proving my point for me.

    “Go become an hero.”

    I already am, Dio. I already am.

    Comment by Sisyphus — February 5, 2008 @ 1:50 pm | Reply

  56. “I already am, Dio. I already am.”

    No, you’re mostly an unfunny idiot who thinks electrons are angels and that the population of Arkansas outnumbers everybody else in America.

    Comment by Adam Nelson — February 5, 2008 @ 2:14 pm | Reply

  57. “When it was founded. Read the Bible. Read the Constitution.”

    I’ve read both. When the Bible was written, no one had even a clue that the Pacific Ocean, let alone other continents, existed. It said nothing about IT IS YOUR DUTY TO GO OUT AND KILL AS MANY CHILDREN AS YOU CAN TO PREVENT ANYONE BUT US FROM BREEDING.

    The Constitution has this little passage:

    http://www.usconstitution.net/const.html#Am1

    Amendment 1 – Freedom of Religion, Press, Expression. Ratified 12/15/1791. Note

    Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

    Translation: Congress cannot pass any laws that favor or not any form of religion, even including worshiping of any religion any citizen desires. You are guaranteed the right to believe what you wish, and say as you wish.

    There is to be maintained a separation of Church and State, so as to keep a balance of justice. A perfect government is Atheistic in that is should hold no bias for or against any religion, no matter what the members of it may personally believe. This protects you just as much as it does me. What if everyone in the branches suddenly converted to Islam, and decided to persecute the infidels? The Constitution would prevent them from rewriting all laws in the favor of the codes of conduct demanded by followers in the Islamic faith. It’s also what allows you to say what you want, instead of being locked up for suggesting things like GENOCIDE.

    Who taught your American history class? Karl Marx? America was founded as a Christian nation. The British worshipped the King, they weren’t true Christians at the time. America wanted to be different. We wanted to worship the One True God.

    Get it right– even though we were settled(at least, caucasian-wise, as vikings and asians had long before made visits and snoo-snoo) by Christians, we were made into a nation by deists and people who believed that faith should not guide the eyes of justice(remember, justice is not to discriminate, but instead to discover the truth and bring things back to null).

    Also, the pilgrims were Protestant. Learn to specify, because there is no true “Christian” faith. It’s an umbrella name, much like Islam.

    Thank you for proving my point for me.

    No, you didn’t read. By making claims like how we need to oppress those not of your faith, and how we need to commit genocide until we’re left with only Christians, you’re being anti-American.

    You want to ditch democracy, and keep us beneath a monarchy, or even a theocracy. See, the point of the founding of the nation was to prevent just that. YOU ARE THE ANTI-AMERICAN.

    “Go become an hero.”

    I already am, Dio. I already am.

    Cool, you became an hero. Guess you’re already dead, but I hope you have fun explaining that whole “I COMMITTED GENOCIDE IN YOUR NAME, GOD!” thing when you’re at the gates, and wondering why the heater’s on.

    Comment by Dio Brando — February 5, 2008 @ 2:20 pm | Reply

  58. [Psycheout sez: Have you seen Moxom’s last 100 or so comments?

    Yes, most certainly
    This is number 101

    Comment by MoxoM — February 5, 2008 @ 5:04 pm | Reply

  59. You’re a disgusting pervert and a liar, Mr. Nobody. You and Dio deserve a candidate like Hitlery. It will make your inevitable defeat all the sweeter.

    Comment by Sisyphus — February 5, 2008 @ 8:53 pm | Reply

  60. Don’t worry, Sisyphus. For posting vile perversion and Bel Air lyrics dozens of times in dozens of threads (spamming), he has been effectively banned. All of his worthless comments will go into moderation from now on.

    Unless he says something useful that adds to the discussion, his comments will simply be deleted. You got your wish, troll.

    Congratulations! We rarely ban people. You are in an elite group for being a total jerk and spammer. Good night and good luck.

    Comment by Psycheout — February 5, 2008 @ 9:07 pm | Reply

  61. We’re real, we vote, and we outnumber you America-hating kooks. Deal with it.

    Comment by Sisyphus — February 5, 2008 @ 11:34

    Face it Sisy, if you are real, then your are real advocates of terrorism. You have posted more crap calling for killing and torturing innocent people than any other site I’ve ever seen. If you were for real you would be put under investigation by the commission for the prevention of homegrown terrorism. Every one of their descriptions of what homegrown terrorists are and what idealogical violence is, is a perfect description of what you do every day, try to intimidate people into believing your political and religious views. All of your posts would be illegal under the homegrown terrorism prevention act, unless, of course, they were a joke, and you are a parody. You can deny it till the day you die, I don’t care, but you are parodists, or you are criminals, one or the other. Actually, I think you are both.
    But if you just google yourselves, you will find a few thousand links to sites that have you listed as satire (including wikipedia) and not a single one that says you are not. Except, of course, for you yourselves, who will live by that lie till the end.
    Anyway, you have done more than enough to prove that you are satire, trolls, and lying bigots, and you have done absolutely nothing to prove a single one of your claims on any post, and swear that your own blogs along with other blogs by people just like you are enough to prove you are right. Pure idiocy, but it works for satire.
    Want someone to believe you? Then just once in this whole line of posts here, pick one of your points and support it with verifyable facts. Try, the flat Earth idea, prove it. Or geocentic Earth, prove it. How about those demon platypi, prove that one. And the penguins that are climbing over the great ice wall, you know, the ones made by NASA since way before NASA existed. And if they made them, then why the hell did they put them on the other side of the ice wall? So they would have something to fight as the penguins climbed back over? If the world is flat, how come I can’t find Mt. Everest with my telescope? Oh, and give me just one piece of proof that demons exist at all.
    The list goes on. Everything you say goes against what we all know to be fact, yet you say it and defend it, with insults, threats, intimidation and stupidity. So, yes, you are a joke, a parody, a satire and a troll. And the only thing keeping you out of prison is the fact that you are a parody.
    Prove me wrong. (without insults, name calling, or threats to ban me, just prove me wrong)

    Comment by Arn — February 5, 2008 @ 9:44 pm | Reply

  62. Oh yeah, and we outnumber you, 6.6 billion to, (how many of you are there? about a dozen), to about a dozen.

    Comment by Arn — February 5, 2008 @ 9:46 pm | Reply

  63. lol

    Comment by The Nobody — February 5, 2008 @ 10:28 pm | Reply

  64. “Oh, and give me just one piece of proof that demons exist at all.”

    To be fair, Arn, Syphilis and the rest of the B4B crew, Corklover included, all had to come from something.

    Comment by Dio Brando — February 5, 2008 @ 10:55 pm | Reply

  65. In case it wasn’t obvious, the above did not include Arn in the group.

    Comment by Dio Brando — February 6, 2008 @ 2:09 am | Reply

  66. “We rarely ban people.”
    Because without us, you’d have about 5 people commenting. Still better than Bob’s 2.

    Comment by Elephant Bones — February 6, 2008 @ 2:29 am | Reply

  67. Sorry to disagree with you, Dio, but those guys are definately human, no other creature on Earth could possibly be that stupid.

    Comment by Arn — February 6, 2008 @ 6:24 am | Reply

  68. There is a big difference between humility, and the wretched slavery you desire us to submit to. You appear to believe that a woman who was blessed with intellectual gifts should bury her talents in the sand, rather than raise up good fruits for the Lord. Yes, a woman must raise children for her husband, but that is not the only duty for which women are fit. Both men and women are created in the image of God, and both men and women must humble themselves before the Creator. You aren’t off the hook just because you happen to have a Y chromosome.

    At times I almost envy the genderless state of the angels–they certainly don’t have to worry about misguided cultural ideas of “masculinity” and “femininity.” (And before you try to insist that angels are male–Human beings are physical creatures that reproduce sexually (as opposed to such creatures as bacteria, which reproduce asexually by dividing themselves in half). Therefore, it is necessary for humans to have gender, or we could not mate and produce offspring. However, angels have no bodies. They are purely spiritual beings. As such, they have no need for sexual reproduction, or the gender distinctions that come with it. Therefore, angels, like the Creator Himself, are not limited by the constraints of maleness or femaleness, but are purely free of gender.)

    Comment by L — February 6, 2008 @ 11:38 am | Reply

  69. “We must all do our part to keep America safe from Satanism?”

    Why? I mean, as long as they do not do anything illegal (eg. killling, threat, and the like), but limit to worship their god of choiche, why prevent their freedom of religion? The Founding Fathers wrote the first amendament for this, after all: to let anyone free to have the religion he favors.

    Comment by dandus — February 6, 2008 @ 4:37 pm | Reply

  70. Sorry to disagree with you, Dio, but those guys are definately human, no other creature on Earth could possibly be that stupid.

    Blast, I was hoping they wouldn’t be human.

    Why? I mean, as long as they do not do anything illegal (eg. killling, threat, and the like), but limit to worship their god of choiche, why prevent their freedom of religion? The Founding Fathers wrote the first amendament for this, after all: to let anyone free to have the religion he favors.

    Because the SS…err, I mean B4B supporters and staffers believe anyone not exactly like them deserves to die. They’re anti-american xenophobics. And they’ve never been able to prove the opposite, as every point they make either leads to ABOLISH THE CONSTITUION, KILL THE MUSLIMS AND THE CHINKS, and BURN THE POOR PEOPLE ALIVE.

    Comment by Dio Brando — February 6, 2008 @ 6:13 pm | Reply

  71. Dear L

    The angel question has already been answered.

    Comment by bobcorker — February 6, 2008 @ 7:16 pm | Reply

  72. Actually, that link doesn’t answer anything. Although the existence of the Nephilim in the original books shows that angels were capable of generating human features. Otherwise, they are shaped by the perceiver’s own perceptions(in other words, they would look like you would personally expect them to).

    And then we have Metatron, who had something like 360,000 eyes, and 7 or so wings.

    Comment by Dio Brando — February 6, 2008 @ 8:45 pm | Reply

  73. “And then we have Metatron, who had something like 360,000 eyes, and 7 or so wings.”
    According to Dogma, he looks like Alan Rickman.

    Comment by Elephant Bones — February 6, 2008 @ 9:35 pm | Reply

  74. The original comment is extremely one sided and old fashion. Man and women were made to be ONE being and not be de domiated by either sex (M or F). We do have our roles as specified in the Bible. However, I don’t believe that it was/is God’s intension for one to domate the other. The versus quoted are taken out of their original context. In Ephesians 5:21 – 33 (below), it is not one sided we are to love one another like Christ loved the church. It doesn’t say that a woman should be ‘barefoot and pregnant’ or that should be a ‘slave’ to Men.

    21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church– 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery–but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

    I don’t agree with all of Hillary’s rederick. Howeve to say she is a evil or a demon is NOT CHRISTIAN… ONLY GOD can and will judge her. It is our roles as Christians to pray for her and know that God (and only God) has a puropse for her…

    Comment by bootmannl — February 7, 2008 @ 5:40 am | Reply

  75. I love you too, Trogdor. Even if you’re a degenerate moonbat Satanist, Jesus commands me to love you and everyone else.

    Comment by Sisyphus — February 5, 2008 @ 1:50 pm

    Now let’s get one thing straight here, I am NOT a degenerate. Moonbat? yes. Satanist? Eh, only on the holidays. But I am no degenerate.

    “Go become an hero.”

    I already am, Dio. I already am.

    Comment by Sisyphus — February 5, 2008 @ 1:50 pm

    Uh, you do know what becoming AN hero means, don’t you?

    Comment by TrogdortheEnlightened — February 7, 2008 @ 10:08 am | Reply

  76. That Dio can’t speak English properly?

    Comment by Sisyphus — February 7, 2008 @ 12:59 pm | Reply

  77. This whole thread shows actually just one thing:

    Stiffyphus has a foot fetish (thus the bare feet)
    Stiffyphus has a severe problem…..to make a woman pregnant one has to use the penis to impregnate her…..since Stiffyphus has never tuoched his penis since birth this will at least be quite problematic.
    I also recommend stiffyphus to clean his weenie before trying to impregnate a (foot fetishist) woman…..women hate the severe smell of Camembert under the foreskin (including even French women)

    Comment by y7699 — February 7, 2008 @ 1:08 pm | Reply

  78. That Dio can’t speak English properly?

    Lurk more, newfag. Look it up on Google, if you can’t be bothered to learn.

    bootmanl, everyone on the B4B staff should learn from you– learn to actually READ the Bible, rather than just selectively reading quotes out of context.

    Comment by Dio Brando — February 7, 2008 @ 1:52 pm | Reply

  79. “the Old Testament, which is unequivocably written by God”

    Strange how your god makes so many mistakes and contradictions – perhaps he was tired, or drunk.

    Genesis 1:24-27 Animals were created before man was created.
    Genesis 2:7, 19 Man was created before animals were created.

    Genesis 1:26-27 Man and woman were created at the same time.
    Genesis 2:7, 21-22 Man was created first, woman sometime later.

    Genesis 1:20-21, 26-27 Birds were created before man was created.
    Genesis 2:7, 19 Man was created before birds were created.

    Genesis 35:10 God says Jacob is to be called Jacob no longer; henceforth his name is Israel.
    Genesis 46:2 At a later time, God himself uses the name Jacob.

    Comment by Tyler Durden — February 7, 2008 @ 2:33 pm | Reply

  80. It’s pretty obvious this site is a Poe by now.

    Comment by ninjacat11 — February 10, 2008 @ 10:49 am | Reply

  81. I must say I consider the title of this post very offensive: if I had a wife and this would really be god’s plan I would stand between him and my wife. I would feel obliged to oppose anyone who “plans” to impose on a whole gender a maschilist teocracy.

    Comment by dandus — February 10, 2008 @ 11:01 am | Reply

  82. When I went to a Christian gathering in Gatlinburg this weekend, I learned the s ‘b’s’ that women must wear:

    bonnets
    breaststraps
    buns
    blouses

    There were also the 2 ‘b’s’ for men:

    business suits
    bowties

    All of these are quite sensible. With the women, she is given as much covering as is practical (if they wore corsets, for instance, they’d be smashing their heads against tree branches). With the men, they look as professional and ready for the world as possible.

    Comment by bobcorker — February 11, 2008 @ 6:40 pm | Reply

  83. I learned the s ‘b’s’ that women must wear:

    …how many “b’s” is “s”?

    With the women, she is given as much covering as is practical (if they wore corsets, for instance, they’d be smashing their heads against tree branches)

    Why would corsets cause head injury? And for that matter, who honestly buys bonnets anymore? Are you going Amish on us?

    There were also the 2 ‘b’s’ for men:

    business suits
    bowties

    Only if you want to look like Bill Nye or Tucker Carlson. Otherwise, wear a tie, for godsakes.

    Comment by Dio Brando — February 11, 2008 @ 7:33 pm | Reply

  84. “…how many “b’s” is “s”?”

    Typo. I have large hands, so that may be why my hand slipped back left so far.

    “Why would corsets cause head injury? And for that matter, who honestly buys bonnets anymore? Are you going Amish on us?”

    Lack of upper periphreal vision in the corset (or burqa) means that a woman will likely smash her head over a low hanging branch. And no, I do not condone Amishness. The Amish refuse to fight for their country and cheat the tax systems while being allowed to vote. They all need to be deported, because they are holding America back.

    “Only if you want to look like Bill Nye or Tucker Carlson. Otherwise, wear a tie, for godsakes”

    Winston Churchill looked pretty sharp in a bowtie, you know. Also, bowties are easier for angels to occupy than neckties are. I want as many angels to fly into me as possible.

    Comment by bobcorker — February 11, 2008 @ 7:50 pm | Reply

  85. Lack of upper periphreal vision in the corset (or burqa) means that a woman will likely smash her head over a low hanging branch.

    A corset goes around the torso. Unless her breasts are being lifted over her eyes, the only problem is full breathing.

    Winston Churchill looked pretty sharp in a bowtie, you know. Also, bowties are easier for angels to occupy than neckties are. I want as many angels to fly into me as possible.

    Churchill was badass, that I admit. However, you’re still going to look like Bill Nye.

    Also, there’s no logic to angels reaching through bowties easier than neckties(angels cannot occupy human bodies, anyways– not even Ophanim, let alone Seraphim are afforded that ability– and those at the top would simply be given a new body to assume). Many businesses prefer ties, as they appear more professional.

    Comment by Dio Brando — February 12, 2008 @ 1:22 am | Reply

  86. Winston Churchill looked pretty sharp in a bowtie,

    Comment by KKKorKKKer finally admits some truth

    FAGGOT!!!!

    Comment by y7699 — February 12, 2008 @ 6:57 am | Reply

  87. Worse than last comment:

    KKKorKKKer seems to get the hots for deceased males…..
    a typical closet necrohomophantasiac.

    Comment by y7699 — February 12, 2008 @ 7:03 am | Reply

  88. Really, there’s only two items that start with “B” that need to be worn.

    For men: Bluejeans

    For women: Bikinis

    Comment by Arn — February 12, 2008 @ 8:16 am | Reply

  89. @Arn: two thumbs up!

    Comment by dandus — February 14, 2008 @ 7:44 am | Reply

  90. all I have to say is first this site is amazing and amusing. I get to laugh at ignorant, blind and conceded idiots like sisy, bob. Also on the other hand get to see real people with brains (hard to believe I know), like Arn, dandus, Dio Brando, bootmannl, and of course Trogdor. Thank you guys for reviving my faith in my own species, thank you…

    p.s. TROGDOR COMES IN THE NIIIGGGHHHTTT!!!!!

    Comment by Squee — February 26, 2008 @ 11:33 pm | Reply

  91. I will be damned if I am under a man. A man and I are equal. We have both sinned and we both have the chance to be saved again. Just because I have a mind and a sharp tongue does not mean that I am going to hell. I am a christian, and I am a proud, independant woman who knows that my place is right beside the man I am with.

    Comment by Charlie — June 21, 2009 @ 8:47 pm | Reply


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