4chan: Totally Gay; Update: Still Totally Gay

On every website, you’ll find what’s known as trolls. These are retards who enjoy nothing more than ruining a good thing for everyone else. On most sites, they are a mere nuisance and thankfully in the minority. But on 4chan, the trolls rule. What do they rule? Nothing really. It’s pathetic.

4chan was started as a joke by some guy calling himself “moot.” He came from a website called “Something Awful” and his goal was to create Something Awfuller. And moot succeeded. 4chan is just about the worst site on the internet.

4chan is populated by unruly children, the retarded (known as /b/tards), pedophiles, child pornographers, anarchists and the utterly unemployable. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. So you must be cautious.

4chan is a cheesy rip off of 2chan, also known as Futaba Channel, a message board that was mostly ignored since its clientele speak mostly obscure Asian languages that the rest of the world couldn’t care less about. 2chan was made famous among the seedy otaku culture when “Train Man” (densha otoko) attacked a young lady on a train and was egged on by others on the 2chan message board when he chronicled his disgusting exploits.

4chan is a site where the mentally ill congregate and share anime porn and child porn amongst themselves. They also pride themselves on making bomb threats, attacking other websites that dare to criticize their amoral activities, and just being generally stupid and obnoxious.

Fox News exposed the 4chan leader, “Anonymous” in a recent expose that showed just what kind of sick individuals populate this degenerate website. Take a look:

Shocking, isn’t it? From the kind of bile and nonsense that 4chan pond scum vomit out here on our comment threads, it is clear that they have no taste whatsoever, except perhaps for the taste of blood and excrement. They come here crapping out the same mysterious word over and over again “desu” or “nsep” and seem to enjoy such tasteless garbage as “The Fresh Prince of Bel Air” and Rick Astley, one of the gayest “musicians” ever conceived.

Much like an Islamic jihadi site, 4chan should be shut down. It is blocked in many countries who recognize that it is a terrorist front for idiocy. B4B has been targeted for attack by these repulsive creatures many times, especially when I dared to point out that Anime Encourages Murder and that the furry subculture is disgusting.

There can be no doubt, that 4chan is totally gay. The internet hate machine needs to have its plug pulled for the benefit of the world. I hope 2008 is the year that it finally happens. Several threats have been made against this very website and those threats have been reported to the FBI and Interpol. But still, Anonymous is out there. He may yet come for you.

As a result of writing this article, I may have to go into hiding like Salman Rushdie. Before that happens, let me state once more for the record: 4chan is totally gay. Thanks for reading.

Update: Thanks to the predictable 4chan morons proving my hypothesis. The comment thread demonstrates how stupid and gay these people really are. And strangely enough, they just can’t get enough of Rick Astley. Dance, meat puppets, dance! Fools!

Update 2: Since 4channers are notorious potty mouths and have no life other than their gay little porn site and have no jobs, they will probably be pasting Rick Astley and Fresh Prince lyrics here all night long. However, we at B4B actually have lives, so most of that junk will go into the moderation queue. So don’t get your sorry little gay feelings hurt if your comment isn’t deleted right away. We have other things to do, unlike you. Your comments will be laughed at in the order received, retards. Thanks again for helping prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that 4chan is totally gay.

— Psycheout