Blogs 4 Brownback

December 24, 2007

Merry Christmas!

Baby JesusHello, folks! I’ll be travelling most of today. We’re going to visit my parents. I probably won’t post anything for a few days now.

I just wanted to take the opportunity to wish you all a very Merry Christmas. Everyone I know, pretty much, celebrates Christmas. You don’t even have to be Christian to celebrate Christmas. Most of the atheists and Jews I’ve met celebrate it, too. If you don’t celebrate Christmas, that means you’re a Communist or an Islamist. Or worse.

But the important thing is that God was born tomorrow, 2,007 years ago. Stop for a moment and ponder that. God, in the form of the Son, walked the Earth alongside our ancestors. God died for their sins, and ours. God rose from the dead, transcending death and enabling us to do likewise. The entire miracle of Christianity started tomorrow, in a small manger on the outskirts of Bethlehem, 2,007 years ago. A miracle we fight to uphold the sanctity of to this very day, protecting our freedom to worship God in peace even at the cost of our own lives. A miracle celebrated by all, even Godless heathen sinners who disguise their latent Christianity by calling it Ramadan or Kwanzaaa or Festivus or whatever other blasphemous terminology they invented in their basement to justify their petty evils.

Merry Christmas, Americans and moonbats alike. God bless America, and let us all praise Jesus.

39 Comments »

  1. I’m an Islamist and we do celebtate Christmas. We exchange gifts to show our love on this special day. Yes we don’t celebrate Christmas as all Christains. But, we do celebrate it as a Holiday to visit our loved ones! For us, Christmas means “the exchange of love”. So, in a way, we do celebrate Christmas!

    Comment by Exothika — December 24, 2007 @ 11:26 am | Reply

  2. No. He was born in March. This was more an attempt to take over a pagan holiday.:/

    Comment by Bob — December 24, 2007 @ 11:32 am | Reply

  3. And, again, thanks for commanding God to bless America instead of asking for his blessing. Occasionally it is good to show God, deity or not, who wears the pants in this universe!

    God Bless America (dammit!) and God Hates Crabs (dammit!)!

    Comment by GodisOne — December 24, 2007 @ 12:04 pm | Reply

  4. I have to confess.

    I took a cat today.

    I took a cat and did things to it.

    I think the cat liked it, but I can’t be sure because cats yell and scream all the time.

    I did it because this is the birthday of Jesus. He wanted me to make a joyfull noise to his ear.

    Comment by Marty McPain — December 24, 2007 @ 12:17 pm | Reply

  5. Interesting points, Sisyphus. Especially the part where you say: “A miracle celebrated by all, even Godless heathen sinners who disguise their latent Christianity by calling it Ramadan or Kwanzaaa or Festivus or whatever other blasphemous terminology they invented in their basement to justify their petty evils.”

    However, as the administrator of this website might put it: “Your comments are fun and sarcastic, but perhaps a bit bitter. Especially around the Christmas season. Maybe you could tone down the level of vitriol, if only for the children.”

    But I am sure you’ve already been contacted about this, right?

    God Hates Crabs!

    Comment by GodisOne — December 24, 2007 @ 12:29 pm | Reply

  6. If you don’t celebrate Christmas, that means you’re a Communist or an Islamist. Or worse.

    Some people never heard of it. Can´t blame them. Besides, being a muslim (not all muslims are islamists) doesn´t make one automatically a bad person. I knew some rather nice ones. And commies? Well, the true believers in communism aren´t bad people imo, they´re just really naive if they believe that true communism can really be achieved.

    But the important thing is that God was born tomorrow, 2,007 years ago.

    Actually, it´s not really known when he was born. The church created the date to hijack a pagan holiday.

    A miracle celebrated by all, even Godless heathen sinners who disguise their latent Christianity by calling it Ramadan or Kwanzaaa or Festivus or whatever other blasphemous terminology they invented in their basement to justify their petty evils.

    Or perhaps their churches just brought the same PR move. Besides, Ramadan is a full month, not a day and Kwanzaa is not on the 24th/25th.

    But hey, it´s fun. And finally a time in the year where everyone should be peaceful. So Merry Christmas to all of you. As well as happy holidays.

    Comment by PG — December 24, 2007 @ 1:42 pm | Reply

  7. Actually, it´s not really known when He was born.

    You’re no fun anymore. Killjoy.

    …happy holidays.

    Arrrrggggh!!!

    Comment by Psycheout — December 24, 2007 @ 1:51 pm | Reply

  8. “Most of the atheists and Jews I’ve met celebrate it, too. If you don’t celebrate Christmas, that means you’re a Communist or an Islamist. Or worse.”

    That’s right! As Brother Sisyphus say: Jews who don’t celebrate Christmas are islamists! Or worse! Suddenly the whole middle east crisis doesn’t make any sense when you realize that both the Jews and Muslims are islamists!

    Brother Psyche-ut you said: “Arrrrggggh!!!” so you may be able to answer this: Do pirates celebrate Christmas? Or are they communists, or islamists, or worse?

    Or perhaps that was just a grunt of frustration. But please watch your language: “Your comments are fun and sarcastic, but perhaps a bit bitter. Especially around the Christmas season. Maybe you could tone down the level of vitriol, if only for the children.”

    Do it for the children, please.

    God hates Crabs!

    Comment by GodisOne — December 24, 2007 @ 3:03 pm | Reply

  9. “But the important thing is that God was born tomorrow, 2,007 years ago.”
    Again, born in March. Also, the Roman Calendar is a little flawed, I’d say he was born 2010 years ago, approximately.

    Merry Christmas, one and all.

    Comment by Elephant Bones — December 24, 2007 @ 3:03 pm | Reply

  10. I have to confess.

    I took a cat today.

    I took a cat and did things to it.

    I think the cat liked it, but I can’t be sure because cats yell and scream all the time.

    I did it because this is the birthday of Jesus. He wanted me to make a joyfull noise to his ear.

    Comment by Marty McPain — December 24, 2007 @ 12:17 pm

    O_O Uhh…

    Comment by TrogdortheEnlightened — December 24, 2007 @ 6:41 pm | Reply

  11. I find it far more likely that *we* are celebrating His Conception. It is almost certain that the actual birth was *not* this day, whether you use the Julian calendar or the Gregorian version.

    Merry Christmas, none the less.

    Comment by Michael Krenzer — December 25, 2007 @ 1:52 am | Reply

  12. TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
    (a poem by zodiac)

    Twas the night before xmas and all thru the threads..
    Not a poster was posting, the forum was dead.

    Offlines were sent to my friendslist with care
    I told them “good xmas” tho i couldnt be there.

    The children all sleeping all smug in their heads
    With visions of sales from their glittery threads.

    My mate in her nighty and i in PJs
    Had just settled down for a long AFK

    When there on my speakers there arose such a clatter
    I sprang to the screen to see what was the matter

    I pulled up the window i flew like a flash
    My browser it froze and i thought it would crash

    The moon on the screen from the new-fallen snow
    Gave the lustre of mid-day to the forum below,

    When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
    But someone had posted, and someone was here,

    With a yellow tint header, so lively and gay,
    I knew in a moment it must be Greg-J.

    More rapid than spam mail his members they came,
    And he posted, and PMed, and called them by name!

    “Now Omen! now, Fryman!, PGZ and Geg2!
    On, George! On, Cyclops! and Jazzylee too!

    To the top of the web! to the top of the wall!
    Screw Myspace! Screw Facebook! Screw MASH and them all!”

    As old links that before the wild des did fly,
    And Met with more obstacles, tensions were high.

    So up to the house-top the members they flew,
    With heads full of Ideas, and a new coder too.

    And then, in a shouting, I heard on the roof
    The bitching and nagging of each little goof.

    As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
    Into my PM Greg-J came with a bound.

    He was dressed all in black, from his head to his hips,
    And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and chips.

    A bundle of Applets he had flung on his back,
    And he looked like a coder, or a junkie on crack.

    His eyes-how they twinkled! all crimson and blurry!
    His cheeks were like roses, his chin was all furry!

    His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
    And the hair on his chin was as white as the snow.

    The link of a site he sent bold in his post,
    When I hovered above it I turned white as a ghost.

    It had a strange name and i thought it was me,
    wtf is an eeos? so i clicked it to see.

    It was awesome and pimp, a right jolly old site,
    And I smiled when I Logged in, my profile was tight!

    A link on my site and drop in my bank,
    There was money to make and people to thank.

    He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
    And sent everyone banners, then continued to lurk.

    And laying his finger aside of his nose,
    And giving a nod, up the rankings we rose!

    We sprang to our sites, and gave out a whistle,
    The traffic just came like a heat seeking missile.

    But I heard him exclaim, as he logged out of sight,
    “Happy EEOS to all, and to all a good-night!”

    Comment by Arn — December 25, 2007 @ 7:52 am | Reply

  13. I’ve brought the cat back none the worse for wear.

    Still making noise but he has all his toes and feet and his tail.

    Ahhh Christ-Mass morning! I wonder what sacrifice they will have on the altar?

    Comment by Marty McPain — December 25, 2007 @ 11:00 am | Reply

  14. There’s more than one way to skin a cat.

    Comment by Psycheout — December 25, 2007 @ 11:10 am | Reply

  15. Merry Christmas, Psycheout, Sisyphus, and other True Christians. But Ralph and I don’t feel you should encourage these Helioleftists with seasons’ greetings. A quick, clean death in the near future is the best Christmas present I’d be willing to offer them.

    Comment by Marcia P. — December 25, 2007 @ 2:31 pm | Reply

  16. That’s very kind of you, Marcia. Isn’t it great how the Christmas spirit makes us all feel generous? Merry Christmas to you and Ralph.

    Comment by Psycheout — December 25, 2007 @ 3:01 pm | Reply

  17. Well, I had a pretty good Christmas. Quality time with my family, and plenty of new things to keep me occupied until next semester.
    Hogan’s Heroes, Season 2 (I’d recommend it to anyone)
    Lord of the Rings trilogy (see previous statement)
    Halo 3 (Master Chief is a hero for the ages)
    The Handy Science Answer book (to throw at geocentrists so i can watch them sizzle)
    iPod Nano (tunes. nuff said)

    What did everyone else receive from loved ones?

    Comment by Elephant Bones — December 25, 2007 @ 6:30 pm | Reply

  18. Christmas has no meaning anymore.

    Comment by The Nobody — December 25, 2007 @ 11:34 pm | Reply

  19. Thank you, Psycheout!

    Comment by Marcia P. — December 26, 2007 @ 11:33 am | Reply

  20. What did everyone else receive from loved ones?

    Lots of sweets. And a bottle Glühwein. (Don´t know the english term.)
    Clothes.
    A book. (First Ciaphas Cain Omnibus)
    Some gaming minitiatures.
    About 300€ cash.

    Oh, and a little holiday to relatives living in middle germany next week.

    Comment by PG — December 26, 2007 @ 11:35 am | Reply

  21. PS: @Marcia: You know, in that case I´d probably return your present to you.

    Oh, and Happy Holidays.😉

    Comment by PG — December 26, 2007 @ 11:35 am | Reply

  22. “Some gaming minitiatures.”
    You play Warhammer? Or are you talking about something else?

    Comment by Elephant Bones — December 26, 2007 @ 11:58 am | Reply

  23. 40k.😉

    Comment by PG — December 26, 2007 @ 1:26 pm | Reply

  24. “I took a cat and did things to it.

    I think the cat liked it, but I can’t be sure because cats yell and scream all the time.”

    Beastiality by Marty McBeastie — December 24, 2007 @ 12:17 pm

    I don’t think your cat enjoyed you shoving your [removed] in it you sick freak.

    [Ed Note: Please stop interjecting your perversions into our comment threads. TIA.]

    Comment by Spacebrother — December 26, 2007 @ 3:05 pm | Reply

  25. Merry Christmas, Psycheout, Sisyphus, and other “True Christians. But Ralph and I don’t feel you should encourage these Helioleftists with seasons’ greetings. A quick, clean death in the near future is the best Christmas present I’d be willing to offer them.

    Watersportloving by Marcia PeePee. — December 25, 2007 @ 2:31 pm

    I think you mean’t Seasons cursings because yall are goin’ to Hell.

    Comment by Spacebrother — December 26, 2007 @ 3:07 pm | Reply

  26. Ed Nose: Please stop interjecting your perversions into our comment threads.

    I guess interjecting ones love gun into a cat is more perverted than anything The Divine Mister Spacebrother (bless him) has ever written.

    Comment by MoxoM — December 26, 2007 @ 4:07 pm | Reply

  27. Comment by Spacebrother — December 26, 2007 @ 3:05 pm

    what a horrible thing to type. you really should get help for your sick perversions.

    I think maybe you need a “training” session with some sharp toothed animals for even thinking such vile thoughts.

    Comment by Marty McPain — December 26, 2007 @ 6:54 pm | Reply

  28. Spaceho, have you ever actually managed to muster up the strength required of the missionary position? I can see why you are so depraved: your body is so weak that no woman would come within a hundred yards of you.

    Comment by bobcorker — December 26, 2007 @ 7:30 pm | Reply

  29. Right on, you person, you. You tell them godless heathen Africans that they should burn in hell for celebrating their roots through Kwanzaa. Especially the ones so deep in the heart of Africa that they’ve never seen a TV screen, let alone a book that they’re magically supposed to already have known about. They should know that only a white man could be the son of a deity they’ve no clue about.

    And those who do know, are condemned to burn unless they accept and embrace the book that tells them of how only reading this book can save them, with no proof that any other book could do the same.

    P.S.: lulz at people who assume Islam isn’t related to Christianity, since the Koran plainly states within in that Jesus lived and was a savior. Muhammed was also a prophet, alongside Jesus, Moses, and Zarathustra. But hey, this requires actually reading things beyond a single book.

    Comment by Dio Brando — December 26, 2007 @ 10:38 pm | Reply

  30. Missionary position is a brisk walk compared to, say, the Quadruple Hucklebuck.

    Comment by Elephant Bones — December 26, 2007 @ 11:09 pm | Reply

  31. So what did you get for Christmas, Dio? Did you get ZA WARUDO?

    Comment by Elephant Bones — December 27, 2007 @ 2:18 am | Reply

  32. Any position other than the missionary position is a sin, EB.

    Comment by Bob_Corker — December 28, 2007 @ 8:24 pm | Reply

  33. Says you, Bob. And since when did your opinion ever have enough support to matter to anyone?

    Comment by Elephant Bones — December 29, 2007 @ 6:03 pm | Reply

  34. The missionary position has been the only position ever advocated by the Church, EB.

    Comment by bobcorker — December 29, 2007 @ 6:49 pm | Reply

  35. Which church?

    Comment by Elephant Bones — December 29, 2007 @ 7:12 pm | Reply

  36. Sci-fi books, a Sacred Heart statuette, a finger drum set, one of those cute “Pick Jesus!” guitar picks, a manga compilation, jewelry, and some pajamas.🙂

    Comment by L — January 1, 2008 @ 11:53 pm | Reply

  37. “Right on, you person, you. You tell them godless heathen Africans that they should burn in hell for celebrating their roots through Kwanzaa. Especially the ones so deep in the heart of Africa that they’ve never seen a TV screen, let alone a book that they’re magically supposed to already have known about. They should know that only a white man could be the son of a deity they’ve no clue about.”

    Hey, genius, Kwanzaa was invented by a racist college professor who felt that Christmas wasn’t “black enough.” It’s a modern invention, and no one in Africa celebrates it.

    Bob, you’re wrong about the missionary position. Get out your Catechism and read the section on sex. Various positions and practices are allowed, as long as the end result is the man’s seed inside the woman’s reproductive tract. The idea that other positions are somehow sinful in themselves was an invention of medieval church leaders who thought that by doing so they could prevent the advancement of women. Naturally, it didn’t work, because it doesn’t make sense. Just like there’s no law saying you can only go to the bathroom in a certain position.

    Comment by L — January 2, 2008 @ 12:05 am | Reply

  38. ooooh, yous right massa, we’s nignigs best to be learnin’ how to bow to de white man, an’ kiss him feets! we’s sorry, we no meanin’ to be born back in africa witout de jesus an’ god! t’ank you, massa, for puttin’ us on dem boats an’ learnin’ us dat only de white man can save us! i hopes our distant family back in africa can save demselfs by givin’ de white man head, too!

    Comment by nigras — January 8, 2008 @ 6:33 pm | Reply

  39. […] Original post here […]

    Pingback by Christmas News Aggregator » Comment on Merry Christmas! by nigras — January 8, 2008 @ 7:58 pm | Reply


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