Once again, The War On Christmas enters a frenzy in the isolated moonbat enclaves of our nation. For yet another year, the shock troops of leftist intolerance and hatred continue to demonize decent, hard-working, family-oriented Americans for their continued devotion to the faith of the Founding Fathers and their celebration of the birth of the Son of Our Father in Heaven. Yet again, baby Jesus is recrucified on the altar of atheism, secularism, Islamism, Paganism, and Darwinism.
Why do the liberals hate Christmas so much? Surely not even they can hate Jesus to such an extent. I will concede that liberals despise Jesus and everything He stands for, but that alone doesn’t even begin to explain their visceral hatred for the Christmas season. I refuse to accept such a facile explanation. Deeper motives are afoot.
My inquiries into these matters have led me to what appears an inescapable conclusion: liberals hate Santa. Liberals despise Santa with a white-hot furor rivalling only their hatred for law and order; even their hatred for America and Christianity may take a second seat to this unfathomable loathing. Liberals despise Santa like Satan despises God, and himself.
That conclusion begs the question, however: why do liberals hate Santa? The answers are, undoubtedly, legion, but these are the most common factors I’ve been able to discern:
– Santa is a kindly, gentle, loveable old man. His values are conservative, his demeanor jolly. This is an affront to the values of the Atheists’ “god”, Satan, whose name Santa jovially parodies with his own. Satan is a jealous master, and brooks no disrespect from the impishly virtuous. His minions serve his bidding, to their eventual damnation.
– Giving, sharing, and love are inherently anathema to liberals. These are the values that make America and Christianity great. Liberals have made it abundantly clear that neither God nor country hold any appeal for them. Santa embodies these values fully; ergo, he is the face of their enemy, Goodness.
– Only Satan and his instrument, science, may be worshipped in Liberal enclaves. Science tells us that all beliefs, morality, and emotion are meaningless; Satan, the Lord of Evil and Oblivion, exults at this false gospel. He sows other lies, as well, like spiderlings in a malevolent wind. Liberals are quick to wish each other happy Ramadan, happy Kwanza, happy Hanukah, merry Festivus, etc. Yet, say “Merry Christmas” to one of them, and watch him hold his ears and shriek at you. Some places even call it the “C-word”. You can wish your terrorist buddy a happy suicide bombing, but wish him good fellowship on behalf of the birth of God, and somehow you’re the bad guy!
Santa stands for goodness, light, truth, and true science. He stands for everything liberals, and Satan, despise. It is our sacred duty as Republicans, as Christians, as Americans, and as decent human beings to celebrate Christmas and Santa Claus as loudly and as publicly as possible. To do so is to greatly pain the Evil Ones.
In the film “It’s a Wonderful Life,” a small child states that “Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings.” That’s quite true, but so is the converse: every time a Christmas cheer sounds out, a demon perishes in agony, and his left-wing human host-sacrifice dies screaming as blood pours from his ears, nose, eyes, and throat. Obviously, Frank Kapra felt it was inappropriate to show such scenes in a Christmas film; but those of us fighting for the existence of Christmas itself must remove the blindfolds from our eyes and have no illusions about the foes we confront. Liberals have demons, and those demons give liberals powers. But those powers are as naught against the force of Love itself.
So, Merry Christmas, Satan! I hope Beelzebub and his human host, Nancy Pelosi, enjoy my missive!