Blogs 4 Brownback

November 3, 2007

Parking Tickets Must Be Abolished!

Parking TicketI got a ticket yesterday for something so stupid I hesitate to even share it with you. The degenerate liberal scumbags who constitute the Town Elders of this wretched New England village are undoubtedly pleased that my hard-earned cash is going into the coffers to finance their next orgy, but I can assure you that I am not amused. Neither is God, who will smite these wrongdoers in His righteous fury when the time is at hand.

I can understand ticketing cars for carrying socially irresponsible messages, such as drug slogans or Bernie Sanders stickers or those idiotic “W” crossed out things, but what I did shouldn’t even be a crime. I was parked in front of a fire hydrant. That’s it. Apparently, you’re not supposed to do that in this idiotic town. The rationale is that fire trucks need to get at the hydrants in the event of a fire, so that they can spray down the buildings and save the person’s home.

I can understand that system completely. What I don’t understand is allowing the city to siphon money out of the wallets of those who violate these silly edicts. This is a free country, with a free, capitalist economy. The way it should work is that residents of the area should check my license plate, call a private information-gathering service to acquire my name and telephone number (for some purely nominal fee), then call me up and ask me to move my car. If the offered price merits a move, I will cheerfully move my car immediately after receipt of payment. Then, should a fire occur, the privately-owned fire department will arrive and hose down any residences in the neighborhood carrying a sticker indicating they have paid the necessary fire prevention fees. If the fire comes, and my car is still parked there, the firefighters should steal it and move it. They should then pay me for the damage to my vehicle, reimbursing themselves out of the pocket of the person whose home they’ve just saved.

Fire HydrantThis system is substantially better than one involving government. The investment opportunities it presents are nearly unlimited. Moreover, it will stimulate the economy by requiring greater capital expenditures on the part of all parties. Any inequities in the system will quickly be corrected by the invisible hand of the market, which is wont to speedily amend all economic wrongs. Best of all, no more parking tickets. No more parking meters, except those controlled by private investors. No more tows for parking in front of privately-owned fire hydrants.

Obviously, my system may have a kink or two, but on the whole I think it would work just fine. I think I’m going to send it in to this city along with the ticket money they’ve extorted from me. I don’t expect the degenerate moonbats to act on it, but they can’t say they haven’t been presented with the ideas. What do you think?

27 Comments »

  1. Parking ticket’s are just another forum a taxation. When I go into another town I didn’t vote for the city council so were is my representation? You’re right Psycheout, parking tickets have no place in a free market economy, it’s another tired Europe idea that has to go. If they want to punish parking violators they would water boarded (which in NOT torture) for two or three hours.

    This Emergency services is another nanny state piece of BS. The citizens should take some personal responsibility and put out fires themselves instead of waiting for big government to do it. If those Californians hadn’t sat around waiting for some government officials to sign off on the paperwork and instead gone out of fought those fires themselves those fires would have been out in a hour. Instead of getting the job done

    Comment by BJ Tabor — November 3, 2007 @ 6:43 am | Reply

  2. I think you should stop complaining and lean to read the “no parking” signs.
    Else i recommend you to have your eyes checked, you might need contact lenses or a pair of spectacles.

    It is amazing that you can write so much, and yet say nothing, time after time again. Don’t you have anything better to do? (haha, keep going, you are an amazingly amusing lifeform)

    Comment by jim — November 3, 2007 @ 6:53 am | Reply

  3. Brother BJ, as usual you and Psycheout are 100% correct on this issue. Although I have never had a parking ticket, because I would never break the law which is a sin and I do not sin, it is obvious that the whole thing is part of some Liberal agenda. I keep a black Super Sharpie permanent marker in my purse at all times, so if I see someone illegally parked I will write in big letters “YOU ARE A SINNER AND A LAW BREAKER” on their hood. That is a lot more effective than some silly ticket. Of course if they have a Support the Troop ribbon on the car I let it slide.

    God Bless America and America Bless God!

    Comment by Mrs. T.D. Gaines-Crockett — November 3, 2007 @ 7:00 am | Reply

  4. Anyway……this is my last entry. I have something better to do as well (Lots of oral, vaginal and anal sex with willing young women, lots of music and most of all…..sunshine and no loonies for at least a week or three.

    Byebye

    Ednose: you can sneak in some really anti-taining comments again if you will, but keep your nose out of other peoples rear end please !!!

    Mister BJ Tabor: Keep on painting your house, it keeps you busy and creativity is a good remedy for your psychosis.

    Missus Gaines-Crockett: Have fun while loving your poodle.

    Bob Corker: don’t let them find you wearing that gas mask and the rubber diving flippers!!!

    Sisyphus and Psycheout: Stay bright and gay, oh jolly fellows.

    Peace
    Jim

    Comment by jim — November 3, 2007 @ 7:09 am | Reply

  5. “so if I see someone illegally parked I will write in big letters “YOU ARE A SINNER AND A LAW BREAKER” on their hood.”Comment by Mrs.T.D.Gaines-Crockett:

    and so are you, or are you still too stupid to realise that vandalism is also against the law. Oh, what am I saying, of course you are, there isn’t half a brain cell to share between the lot of you.

    Comment by Arn Lewis — November 3, 2007 @ 7:48 am | Reply

  6. God Bless America and America Bless God!

    Comment by Mrs. T.D. Gaines-Crockett — November

    You really are a freak aren’t you?

    Comment by Arn Lewis — November 3, 2007 @ 7:50 am | Reply

  7. oops, forgot to read the story first, now I have, and I shouldn’t have, figures that one this stupid would be the work of siffylus, not a whole lot to say about this one,, every single word of it is almost as stupid as siffy himself.

    You know siffy, you should really unwrap your lips from around BJ’s brain and do something constructive, like get yourself committed.

    Comment by Arn Lewis — November 3, 2007 @ 7:56 am | Reply

  8. “You’re right Psycheout, parking tickets have no place in a free market economy,”

    Thanks, but I wrote it. Not Psycheout.

    “You know siffy, you should really unwrap your lips from around BJ’s brain and do something constructive, like get yourself committed.”

    Whatever, slave. Enjoy paying taxes to your government taskmasters.

    Comment by Sisyphus — November 3, 2007 @ 8:56 am | Reply

  9. You have broken the rules of the town. What kind of punishment other than a fine should be imposed to you?

    If you´re parking your car in a place where you not may park it and someone else´s property is damaged due to this, you are to pay for it, not said person.

    The way it should work is that residents of the area should check my license plate, call a private information-gathering service to acquire my name and telephone number (for some purely nominal fee), then call me up and ask me to move my car. If the offered price merits a move, I will cheerfully move my car immediately after receipt of payment. Then, should a fire occur, the privately-owned fire department will arrive and hose down any residences in the neighborhood carrying a sticker indicating they have paid the necessary fire prevention fees. If the fire comes, and my car is still parked there, the firefighters should steal it and move it. They should then pay me for the damage to my vehicle, reimbursing themselves out of the pocket of the person whose home they’ve just saved.

    No, the fire brigade should simply crush your car and let you sit on the damage. It´s your fault if you park in the wrong spot.

    Again, you were too stupid to read the “no parking” sign. Thus it´s entirely your fault and any consequences of it are to hit you. What else than a fine would you premise as punishment?

    PS: You´re just sore that you had to pay because you were dumb enough to park in the spot.

    Comment by PG — November 3, 2007 @ 9:01 am | Reply

  10. Liberalism=Nazism!

    Comment by Roy Ubu — November 3, 2007 @ 11:04 am | Reply

  11. Sisypus @ Thanks, but I wrote it. Not Psycheout.

    Sorry Sisyphus. I was so shocked by that liberal outrage against you I didn’t check authorship like I should have.

    Comment by BJ Tabor — November 3, 2007 @ 11:15 am | Reply

  12. “Whatever, slave. Enjoy paying taxes to your government taskmasters.”

    whoa there, siffy,,, if that’s the best you can do today perhaps you should take your meds and take a break for a few days.

    Comment by Arn Lewis — November 3, 2007 @ 11:44 am | Reply

  13. The only taxes that should be present are tarrifs on foreign goods and a small sales tax to support infrastructure and defense. Every other government ‘function’ is unconstitutional.

    Jim, I have the feeling that your round earth hiney will soon be finding its way back. Repent now, sinner, or you shall be cast into the lake of fire!

    Comment by Bob_Corker — November 4, 2007 @ 10:57 am | Reply

  14. The only taxes that should be present are tarrifs on foreign goods and a small sales tax to support infrastructure and defense. Every other government ‘function’ is unconstitutional.

    Seeing that the police and jsutice system would be unconstitutional in this case, what would prevent complete anarchy to spread faster than you can say WTF?

    Comment by PG — November 4, 2007 @ 1:16 pm | Reply

  15. PG,

    Freedom is messy. I know it hard for someone from Europe to understand that but a free people do not need a Nanny government police force.

    Comment by BJ Tabor — November 4, 2007 @ 3:41 pm | Reply

  16. Freedom is messy. I know it hard for someone from Europe to understand that but a free people do not need a Nanny government police force.

    Freedom isn´t messy. Anarchy as proposed by you is. In your little vision of the perfect country, I could simply buy something like a rpg, drive over to your house and lay waste to it (or worse things) without having to fear any consequences as long as I can remotely cover my tracks, as no one has the stuff needed to do real police work.

    That´s not freedom, it´s a tyranny of the strongest.

    Comment by PG — November 4, 2007 @ 4:05 pm | Reply

  17. An example: Without the kind of resources only a governmental police can mobilise, it would have been basically completely impossible to catch those two snipers that randomly shot people around Washington a short time after 9/11.

    Comment by PG — November 4, 2007 @ 4:08 pm | Reply

  18. LOL-

    Sisyphus, you gotta admit that the fine is definately a better option than this!

    Comment by ChenZhen — November 4, 2007 @ 5:19 pm | Reply

  19. Pathetic Guantaniman , law enforcement is a role for the states and localities to carry out. The Constitution does not permit the feds to run law enforcement. And no, local police would do catch criminals easier if we give them the weapons that we give the fed.

    Anarcho-capitalism has always seemed like a pretty excellent idea. I disagree with them on drugs (except I also don’t like the violations of Amendment 4; many Christians have had their car seized for being SUSPECTED drug dealers in fascist NYC under fascist Giuliani) and open borders, and also think that the Bible should be the law of the land, but they have excellent economic ideas.

    Comment by Bob_Corker — November 4, 2007 @ 6:15 pm | Reply

  20. “Sisyphus, you gotta admit that the fine is definately a better option than this!”

    They’d have to reimburse me for that one, if the city weren’t run by jack-booted thugs.

    Comment by Sisyphus — November 5, 2007 @ 10:22 am | Reply

  21. They’d have to reimburse me for that one, if the city weren’t run by jack-booted thugs.

    Actually not. Your car wasn´t supposed to stand there in the first place. ANy consequences of your failure to read a sign is resting firmly on your shoulders, including the broken windows. Any judge would laugh his *** off if you ever tried to get this before a court.

    Comment by PG — November 5, 2007 @ 12:39 pm | Reply

  22. I will pray for your well being, Sisyphus. Being stuck in Bohemian Vermont with only a John Deere calender to support you must be sad. I for one am glad that I have never left the REAL USA, the South! Here, anyone that dares to burn the American flag is castrated and hauled off to jail, and taxation is done for supporting roads and police, not helioleftist governor mansions.

    Comment by Bob_Corker — November 5, 2007 @ 6:21 pm | Reply

  23. Parking tickets are a way the government has of punishing those who transgress the law. It is not just true for wherever it is you live, parking in front of a hydrant is illegal on the federal level. Your system is elitist and asinine. If you value life so much, why do you want poor people to die in fires?

    Comment by Armand Jean du Plessis de Richelieu — November 14, 2007 @ 8:35 pm | Reply

  24. “I can understand that system completely. What I don’t understand is allowing the city to siphon money out of the wallets of those who violate these silly edicts.”

    Try saying that when your office building catches fire and they can’t do anything to save it because some idiot whose cell phone is turned off parked his car in front of the hydrant before going to Starbucks. You pay that ticket, because you don’t want to be the one to have to stand there and watch all your work go up in flames.

    This is not a threat; this is an explanation. I sincerely hope that your office building doesn’t catch fire, but the Lord has been known to work in mysterious ways.

    Comment by a TRUE Christian — November 14, 2007 @ 9:17 pm | Reply

  25. I am a volunteer Firefighter. Guess what happens when we roll up to a fire and their is a car in front of the hydrant. The standard operating procedure is to use one of the tools we have (prybar/hammer) and break your windows, we then proceed to open your doors and hit the hinges so they are open permanently and then run the hose through, and guess what, you will not be allowed to move the car after that point. When all is said and done, you get a 2500 dollar fine and your car is impounded. Your insurance company recieves a letter from the fire department stating that you parked in such a manner and not to cover the damages. And they wont. And you can do a damn thing about it.

    Comment by Fireman — November 23, 2007 @ 11:49 pm | Reply

  26. You know, I find this absolutely HILARIOUS.

    Comment by Bob — November 25, 2007 @ 11:53 am | Reply

  27. And it might be worth mentioning that nobody is actually going to do what you suggest, as you’ll most likely be too busy massacring foreigners.

    In America.

    Comment by Bob — November 25, 2007 @ 12:13 pm | Reply


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