Blogs 4 Brownback

October 9, 2007

“Sex Toy” Ban Held Firm

Sex Toys - Devices of Vile PerversionWelcome Washington Post readers!

In a victory for the right of states to regulate their own commerce, a federal judge finally gave the thumbs up to enforcement of Alabama’s wise ban against the sale and use of vile and perverse fornication “toys.” It’s obviously a states’ rights issue, but the pornography industry and perverts everywhere realize that perversion must grow or die. Thinking Americans choose the latter.

A federal judge removed an injunction Friday that had prevented the enforcement of Alabama’s ban on the sale of sex toys throughout the state.

Attorney General Troy King had asked U.S. District Judge Lynwood Smith to lift the injunction because the U.S Supreme Court decided Monday not to review a lower court decision upholding Alabama’s ban. The Legislature passed the ban in 1998, but Smith had blocked its enforcement while a legal challenge was pending against the law. The Supreme Court’s decision ended the challenge.

I’ll admit that I haven’t exactly followed this story, as the subject matter is simply too seemly, too disgusting for words, but I find it outrageous that it’s taken nearly a decade to get around to enforcing the law. Finally Alabama is allowed do the right thing for families within it’s borders. And it’s about time.

But what’s this? Uh oh…it isn’t all rosy good news and peaches and cream. I smell a big, fat, vibrating loophole:

The law contains an exception for sexual devices sold for medical and scientific purposes, and many adult stores have continued sales after posting signs saying their merchandise falls within the exceptions.

That’s a poorly worded exception that Larry Flynt himself could drive a semi-truck full of devices used to tickle the jaded senses of Alabaman perverts through. How could this language have been allowed in the ban? What possible medical or scientific value can there be for Satan’s toolshed brimming with items designed solely to stimulate the sexual organs for the gratification of degenerates and dope fiends?

Amy Herring, an attorney for the Love Stuff stores in Montgomery, Hoover and Oxford, said the stores are selling medical products for sexual health. But she said she wouldn’t be surprised to see law enforcement in some areas of the state make arrests.

“We are going to be very busy trying to deal with this,” she said.

In other words, Love Stuff and its ilk will be busy skirting the law by lying about the uses of its onanistic products. And according to another article, that’s exactly what’s happening.

Some adult novelty stores aren’t pulling vibrators and similar devices from their shelves now that Alabama’s ban on the sale of sex toys has survived a legal challenge. Instead, they are selling the products as medical or scientific equipment.

“I personally will not pull any products,” storeowner Sherri Williams said Thursday.

Williams, owner of the Pleasures stores in Huntsville and Decatur, filed suit in 1998 when the Legislature banned the sale of sex toys in Alabama. A judge blocked enforcement of the law during her legal challenge, which ended Monday when the U.S. Supreme Court refused to consider a lower court decision upholding the law as constitutional.

This vile woman has been blocking this perfectly legal ban for years, continuing to sell her filth to innocent teens and twisted adult fornicators alike, and now that she’s finally rightfully lost fair and square, she’s refusing to abide by it. Typical porn peddler. It’s time to fight fire with fire. It’s time to finally close that loophole at last, now that enforcement is finally taking place. It’s for the good of the family. It’s good for our neighborhoods. It’s good for Alabama. It’s good for America.

Perhaps the loophole could be tightened by requiring advice and consent of a qualified medical doctor. I’d like to see some slackjawed perv with dark circles under his eyes try to get himself a doctor’s prescription for a “french tickler,” “joni’s butterfly,” “double dong,” an “electro-stim” or other such disgusting device. It would never happen, because just like with jazz cigarettes, there’s no accepted or even imagined medical use for this garbage. And everyone knows it, even the trenchcoat crowd.

It’s plainly obvious that those who collect and use sexual devices are several times more likely to be driven to rape and child molestation or even Democrat party politics. I don’t think anyone would disagree with that.

It’s time these sexual crimes and their causes were stomped upon. Alabama is the testing ground that will prove once and for all the danger that so-called “sex toys” pose families across the nation. Perhaps then we will finally put an end to this night of wrong. But how many victims will there be by that time? The number will be unimaginably and unacceptably high, I fear.

Your take?

— Psycheout

35 Comments »

  1. Thank God for Alabama. They’re one of the most moral states in the Nation.

    Comment by Sisyphus — October 9, 2007 @ 7:12 am | Reply

  2. I have to agree with the exception to the ban.

    As we are all well aware, women need to locked inside the house–preferably the garage–for most of the day to prevent their harlotry from committing grave sins against God’s will. After extended periods of such isolation, a good orgasm could prevent psychosis from beginning.

    If a dildo is all it takes to prevent my wife from going Andrea Yates on my children, I’d say that’s a legitimate medical purpose.

    Comment by Fascinated and Confused — October 9, 2007 @ 7:24 am | Reply

  3. You hate women
    You hate homo’s

    I hereby conclude that you are the kind of people who make love to fruit and vegetables……..

    please go on that way, you deserve to have no offspring

    Comment by Jessica Connell — October 9, 2007 @ 8:56 am | Reply

  4. Repent, repent, repent ye sinners – (etc)

    [Ed Note: A page of lyrics again that has nothing to do with the topic? Welcome to banville.]

    Comment by MoxoM — October 9, 2007 @ 9:24 am | Reply

  5. Sheet Music (Paperback)

    Hey married Christians can use toys too.

    Comment by RSM — October 9, 2007 @ 3:21 pm | Reply

  6. Banning sex toys is another fascist ploy to promate big government, a very un-American anti-democracy stance. These rules are more in line with what Bin Laden wants.

    [Ed Note: Baloney. Ever heard of states’ rights? This isn’t the federal government, it’s community government.]

    Comment by spacebrother — October 9, 2007 @ 5:15 pm | Reply

  7. Pornographers ought to be executed. They are sickly perverting God’s gift to mankind. Nowhere in the Bible does it state that you have to have sex only for procreation; God mandates it for our pleasure, as well. Don’t make God angry with these sick perversions.

    Comment by Bob_Corker — October 9, 2007 @ 7:25 pm | Reply

  8. In the great state of Alabama, toys are outlawed, but liquor sales on Sunday perfectly legal, so is automatic weapon sales on Sunday and you know what else you can pick up on the way to your Sunday meeting house of your choice? HARD CORE PORNOGRAPHY!! Yes, that is perfectly legal. Now who is the “trenchcoat crowd” you refer to? The couples that seek intamacy and communications at a level you’ll never realize, or is it the true watchers of 2 diminisional images on a TV screen in the privacy of their own home.
    Wow, what kind of leadership will you bring America. One can only hope your followers will absorb your spewings and seek the truth, God knows, you haven’t.
    Good luck with your campaign.

    [Ed Note: If what you say is accurate, Alabama has a ways to go. But at least they started somewhere. It took nearly a decade to get enforcement started against fornication tools. Hopefully it won’t take quite so long to get those other problems addressed.]

    Comment by donzi_dave — October 10, 2007 @ 11:23 am | Reply

  9. Gunfire erupts at Cleveland high school

    And still no one has died from orgasims brought on by using a toy!!

    Comment by donzi_dave — October 10, 2007 @ 12:47 pm | Reply

  10. “Banning sex toys is another fascist ploy to promate big government, a very un-American anti-democracy stance. These rules are more in line with what Bin Laden wants.”

    “[Ed Note: Baloney. Ever heard of states’ rights? This isn’t the federal government, it’s community government.]”

    It’s still unAmerican, fascism, pro-big government and an intrusion into peoples personal lives not unlike Communism. Alabama is obviously a haven for America hating extremists. Only fascists want to dictate what people do in the privacy of their own homes or bedrooms.

    “Pornographers ought to be executed. They are sickly perverting God’s gift to mankind. Nowhere in the Bible does it state that you have to have sex only for procreation; God mandates it for our pleasure, as well. Don’t make God angry with these sick perversions.”

    Comment by Bob_Corker — October 9, 2007 @ 7:25 pm

    This is an extremist view that borders on the Bin Laden philosophy. Religious fanatic Nationalists are a stain on society for intruding on peoples personal lives. It’s the Al Quada of Christianity.

    Comment by Spacebrother — October 10, 2007 @ 1:31 pm | Reply

  11. At least you are done in this presidential race, still wonder though, where you stand on government intrusions into your home. I must assume you removed all the mirrors in your home so as not to appear obsene in your bathroom!

    So guns & liquor are next? What did you do in Kansas about these 3 issues?

    Truely, I’ll leave this alone now as I must keep an eye out for the dildo police, you see my wife will be home tonight and since I cannot acheive an erection must please her in ways you say are obsene. So in your opinion, it would be better for her to enjoy another man’s company for her migrane relief?
    Best regards,
    donzi

    Comment by donzi_dave — October 10, 2007 @ 5:26 pm | Reply

  12. These people are afraid of sex toys for sex toys do not smell of old cheese like their own tools in their pants………lol

    Comment by the people and Moxom — October 11, 2007 @ 4:06 am | Reply

  13. Oh darn, those Alabamians still can’t get their sex toys! Guess they’ll have to calm their cravings with wild promiscuous sex instead.

    Comment by Confused — October 20, 2007 @ 12:49 am | Reply

  14. “It would never happen, because just like with jazz cigarettes, there’s no accepted or even imagined medical use for this garbage.”

    There’s also no accepted, or even imagined, medical use for real cigarettes. Yet you seem to uphold every American’s God-given right to poison themselves with noxious tobacco fumes. Masturbation may be immoral, but at least it doesn’t kill kids through second-hand smoke.

    Comment by Confused — October 20, 2007 @ 12:52 am | Reply

  15. And one more thing: don’t think that just because something is banned in Alabama, that people aren’t going to Georgia and Florida to get it. After all, people have been crossing state lines to buy lottery tickets for years, not to mention the couples who cross into GA to get married so they don’t have to take that HIV test.

    And those who don’t have the time to drive that far can probably find sex toys on the Internet–you can order anything over the Internet these days.

    A one-state ban on sales of an item has little effect, if any, on the actual quantity of the item that is purchased by residents of that state. The only change is where the money goes.

    Comment by Confused — October 20, 2007 @ 2:12 pm | Reply

  16. I never knew who Larry Flynt was until I read your article. Why are you looking up porn stars if you hate pornography? Are you a masochist?

    “I accidentally clicked your link without reading the alt-text first, and 2 seconds of looking at the homepage caused me to spiral into perversion so rapidly that the following Sunday I skipped Church to have orgies and practice human sacrifice to Satan.” Nobody’s said that, because the human brain and desires do not work the way you seem to think they work. Not that it matters anyway, because using a slippery-slope argument against pornography, then turning around and linking to it makes you look really, really bad. After all, you’re not trying to turn your followers into perverts, are you?

    Comment by a TRUE Christian — October 21, 2007 @ 7:37 am | Reply

  17. “It’s plainly obvious that those who collect and use sexual devices are several times more likely to be driven to rape and child molestation”

    how is that plainly obvious??

    surely it means just a tad more excitement in the bedroom?

    and rapists and paedophiles are rapists and paedophiles before even thinking of using a sex toy most of the time (first hand experience of that so dont bother arguing with it)

    Comment by Just Regular Sam — October 24, 2007 @ 2:18 pm | Reply

  18. Who needs toys to get their jollies? Go out and get a relationship. At least hire a hooker.

    Comment by KKK — December 4, 2007 @ 11:59 pm | Reply

  19. “Thank God for Alabama. They’re one of the most moral states in the Nation.”
    Birmingham church bombing, anyone?

    “It’s plainly obvious that those who collect and use sexual devices are several times more likely to be driven to rape and child molestation”
    Provide evidence or shut up.

    Comment by Elephant Bones — December 5, 2007 @ 12:21 am | Reply

  20. […] you, WaPo? “Should it be as easy to buy a vibrator as a gun?” Funny that they linked to Blogs4Brownback though – it’s a parody blog here on WordPress. I wonder if anyone will tell […]

    Pingback by Good news for lonely Texans… « The Odd Blog — February 14, 2008 @ 4:44 pm | Reply

  21. Is it hard to breathe with your head so far in your own ass? Or is it just a jelousy issue? Afraid your wife or girlfriend may get more pleasure from glass or plastic then the real thing?

    Whatever your compensation is, you should get over it. Sex is for pleasure. If God didnt want you or I to do it, he wouldve made it painful.

    Comment by Jezebel VonTizzle — February 14, 2008 @ 10:18 pm | Reply

  22. […] only states where sales of sex toys is illegal, though several other states have restrictions. The defenders of those laws say it would be dangerous to make sex toys more easily accessible. They note that […]

    Pingback by It's now legal to sell dildos in Texas - Dallas Dance Music - Dallas nightlife, music, tickets, and more — February 15, 2008 @ 12:51 pm | Reply

  23. Yes, sex toys selling is banned in some states of America. I think that in this case, people will buy sex toys trough illegal mode.

    Comment by helga — March 20, 2008 @ 3:38 am | Reply

  24. I think this all ridiculous over reactions. Sex Toys date back in history for centuries. Sure this isn’t a community we want to expose our young children to, but that’s why there’s no explicit advertising on TV for these types of stores and why they require an ID to enter. On the upside, grown adults can decide what they want to do with their sex life. Those of you touting how it’s against God’s will and how these things are perverse have obviously never tried any of them and I really feel for your significant other and your sex life. It’s painfully obvious you know only missionary positions and probably have sex once a week if not less. You must be very stressed and uptight. Sexual relief and experimentation is one of the fruits of life. It’s a beautiful thing for two people to be so comfortable with one another that they can talk about and experiment with each other with these devices and ideas. There’s nothing wrong with this industry. Yes even I don’t agree with some of the fantasy play things and bondage ideas, but that’s my prerogative. If you don’t like the stores or in the industry then stay off the internet, stay out of the stores and go back to churning your butter and spinning thread on your farms for survival. God appreciates love and sexual desires, people like those of you promoting these laws are the ones who pervert it. God Bless you all regardless.

    Comment by Jeremy — April 1, 2008 @ 8:11 am | Reply

  25. While sex toys may be immoral and perverse to some people and not to others. I think banning them and there use is a bit to radical and in a way violates the rights of individuals. The sale and use of sex toys should be allowed because they do not go against the rights of others and do not hinder others rights. Just because a majority thinks they are perverse and wrong does not mean they have the right to ban them. How are these things harmful, other than to the user possibly. It is not like someone is going to kill someone with it lol. Alabama needs to realize that this is the 2000’s not 1800’s you are not still fighting the north and using slaves. It seems like people in Alabama not all but a fair amount seem to think living there and it being the south gives them a right to be homophobic, gun carrying, close minded, far right, and low intelligence. I am not saying everyone but there is no denying that there are at least 1000 of them that meet those stereotypical standards.

    I am a Christian from Colorado and am not saying that anyone is dumb or anything I think that this law is an abuse of power. I also do not fully feel that some sex toys are morally right.

    Bash me if you like I am not close minded

    Comment by Erik — April 19, 2008 @ 12:00 am | Reply

  26. What do we Alabamans need sex toys for when we have more than enough farm animals to satisfy any taste or need??

    Comment by Gomer from Hunstville — July 4, 2008 @ 10:55 am | Reply

  27. Well said Erik. Its a matter of individual choice, not state interference. The argument in favor of this ban is depressingly similar to bans on gambling and alcohol etc. With laws like this, legislators are effectively saying that adult Alabamians lack the intelligence or maturity to make the decision for themselves.

    Comment by Jon — July 5, 2008 @ 9:17 am | Reply

  28. “legislators are effectively saying that adult Alabamians lack the intelligence or maturity to make the decision for themselves”

    Of course not. They would be acknowleding that Satan is powerful and trying to help Alabamans battle against him. Does that seem alright to you? Or are you on Satan’s side?

    Comment by Pisteuousa — July 6, 2008 @ 1:43 pm | Reply

  29. Lets see, I sell sex toys at home parties. My customers are married housewives, nurses, teachers, principals, counselors, elderly disabled women, coaches, lawyers, border patrol agents, social workers, business women, bankers, librarians, police officers and yes, Christians. All have the same thing in common. They are upstanding, law abiding citizens who want to improve their relationships. Thats all. Oh, and I myself am a kindergarten teacher. If by your definition we are perverts for wanting to keep our marriages and relationships exciting & alive, then so be it.

    Comment by Sugarcookie — August 3, 2008 @ 12:55 am | Reply

  30. Dont worry women of Alabama, I can sell them to you in your living room.
    And doc johnson can sell them to the elderly in their medical supply catalog…you know, those that are delivered to the retirement homes? Yup, even grandma still likes to get her groove on.
    No wonder there is a shortage of pickles in the south!

    Comment by SEXtoyconsultant — November 12, 2008 @ 8:13 pm | Reply

  31. {“Oh darn, those Alabamians still can’t get their sex toys! Guess they’ll have to calm their cravings with wild promiscuous sex instead.”}

    Now that’s not fair, they stay home and have sex with their family members—why do you think someone has to make laws? Because they can’t think on their own, and in any other state most of them would be in a group home!

    Comment by SEXtoyconsultant — November 12, 2008 @ 8:19 pm | Reply

  32. Nice article.In many country they were banned but anyway through online connection we can buy it anyway.

    Comment by sexdolllover — June 9, 2010 @ 6:54 am | Reply

  33. Think Alabama ought to worry more about inbreeding than sex toys. Talk about misplaced priorities. No wonder Alabama ranks last for everything except for the things no one would want to rank for…

    Comment by SF Sex Toy — August 15, 2010 @ 1:40 pm | Reply

  34. […] and understandably so when it leads to things like banning sex toys (good frothing at the mouth here), large well-funded associations promoting treatment for homosexuality, and massive sexual abuse […]

    Pingback by UBC Psychology 350A — September 9, 2010 @ 4:15 pm | Reply

  35. I’m not a Christian, nor am I an American citizen but I am a law abiding woman. Sex toys to me don’t seem wrong, and yes we all have different opinions but there is no valid justification that they are harmful or in any way wrong. I for one use one, I’m not a pervert or a molester or a rapist. I am a Wiccan and in my religion harming anyone (including yourself), or anything is wrong and against the religious law (our Wiccan Rede lays down all the rules and the most famous quotation is, an it harm none, ye shall proceed). So why would I, as a smart, free thinking woman use something that harmed me, was morally wrong and against one of the fundamental laws of my religion?

    Comment by LOVEhoney — April 13, 2011 @ 2:05 pm | Reply


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