Blogs 4 Brownback

October 2, 2007

The Funniest Thing Ever Written

Mary Grabar UnpluggedSometimes the daily news and politics can get one down. And that’s not good. Once in awhile we need to clear our minds and pep things up with some good old fashioned belly laughs. And I have found by far the funniest thing ever written, bar none. This will really cheer you folks up and banish those Tuesday blues. I guarantee it.

CAUTION: Be sure you’re not drinking anything or it’ll end up all over your monitor and keyboard or spraying out your nose. You have been warned.

So without further ado, I give you Town Hall’s very own Mary Grabar (or is it Clown Hall?), who does some spectacular standup.

Osama bin Laden was cornered by U.S. forces in his cave. He was reported to have been surrounded by 17 virgins whom he blew up along with himself, while shouting “Allahu, Akbar!”

In response, massive rallies were held in Washington.

Oh, mercy me! But there’s more!

In front of the Capitol, Cindy Sheehan addressed the crowd through a megaphone: “Did we really need over 3,000 deaths to make this happen? We could have sent cupcakes with sprinkles over to show our goodwill. Who knows? Osama could still be alive. We know that bullies are bullies because they haven’t been shown enough love. WAR IS NOT THE ANSWER!”

The ACLU sent a statement about the U.S. government’s lack of due process.

Oh, snap! I think I just broke my funny bone! I may never laugh so hard again. This woman is brilliant!

An effigy of General Petreaus was burned by protestors who wore Islamic garb and prisoner garb in sympathy with their brethren while singing, “We are the world.”

So true!

One young woman carrying a sign that read, “Bombs can kill terrorists, but only love can kill terrorism,” said, “Well, so what? They’ve captured one man. So does this mean the end to terrorism?”

Sounds like someone I know!

” Yeah,” said her companion, a young man in dreadlocks, “I mean, this is only one guy. So he’s made some bad choices. Is that any reason to put his body on national television? I mean, he has a right to privacy too, man.”

Bwahahahaha!

A bearded man in a purple sequined tutu then jumped in: “Yeah, and at what expense? We’ve lost all our civil liberties. Bob and I can’t even get married.”

Oh noes!

A sixty-ish grizzled man in a tie-dye t-shirt waved his fists and shouted, “We ended the Vietnam War and we will end this one too!”

No blood for oil!

I feel so much better now! That was too much. Go read the whole thing, if you need more. But I’m not responsible if your sides split.

Now go take on the day.

— Psycheout

5 Comments »

  1. ?

    Comment by neverhitboxes — October 2, 2007 @ 5:11 pm | Reply

  2. Thank for linking to that Psycheout. Now this is what comedy should be like. Not that awful, stale dribble they put out on things like the Daily Show. I am going to keep my eye on Mary Grabar.

    Comment by BJ Tabor — October 2, 2007 @ 5:20 pm | Reply

  3. Funny stuff! I loved Cindy’s typically goofy speech in particular. Don’t you wonder who is ghost writing those much more articulate but equally wacky pieces that Cindy puts out for her far left fan club? Michael Moore…is that you Chubby?

    Comment by Sedgewick Hunsaker — October 3, 2007 @ 10:05 am | Reply

  4. LOL! My sides have split!!

    There’s nothing funnier than a failed comedian who doesn’t know the facts and tries too hard. Laughing at this woman really put a smile on my face.

    Comment by a TRUE Christian — October 21, 2007 @ 9:06 am | Reply

  5. at first, i was like
    ಠ_ಠ
    but then, i was like
    .-´¯¯¯`-.
    ,´ `.
    | \
    | \
    \ _ \
    ,\ _ ,´¯,/¯)\
    ( q \ \,´ ,´ ,´¯)
    `._,) -´,-´)
    \/ ,´/
    ) / /
    / ,´-´
    i’m going to find some real funny on Something Awful.

    Comment by Elephant Bones — November 27, 2007 @ 1:34 am | Reply


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