Blogs 4 Brownback

September 28, 2007

Who Will Care for the Constitution After the Rapture?

RaptureI had an unpleasant thought recently. Everyone knows that the Rapture is coming soon, and that all decent and patriotic Republican Americans will ascend into Heaven bodily amid choruses of angels and cherubs, leaving moonbats, treefrogs, Helioleftists, atheists, and demons in temporary custody of the Earth. Soon, we shall return to reclaim the world, and the sinners shall be cast into a lake of fire for all eternity.

All well and good. But the thought that troubled me pertained to the United States Constitution. This physical document is a shrine to the finest and most Christian instincts of mankind. It lays down the law for God’s footstool, the United States of America. As such, it is a sacred document, almost on par with the Holy Grail or fragments of the True Cross.

It troubles my heart to think that this document might be left behind amidst the heathens, Satanists, and liberals who will misinterpret it- or, worse yet, allow some scumbag to use it in an anti-American flag-burning rally.

Even if God does send His angels to swoop the Constitution up, we must still bear in mind that the ideals it represents will be distorted and destroyed by the new, all-treefrog Supreme Court that the Democrats will appoint once they find themselves temporarily representing 100% of Americans.

That, alone, is nearly enough to unman me. I know the Satanists must control the world, but I wish God could just cast them into a lake of fire simultaneously with the Rapture. These are sinful thoughts on my part, of course, but my hope is that God and all right-thinking Christian Americans know that they come from a heart in the right place.

I do hope Brownback is President during the Rapture. That way, after our return to Earth he can be our President forever. (Bush is an excellent President too, of course, but Brownback will be even better.) Anyway, God’s will be done on the matter. And may God bless these United States!

67 Comments »

  1. “Even if God does send His angels to swoop the Constitution up, we must still bear in mind that the ideals it represents will be distorted and destroyed by the new, all-treefrog Supreme Court that the Democrats will appoint once they find themselves temporarily representing 100% of Americans. ”

    It won’t be an all-treefrog Supreme Court. At least Clarence Thomas will be left behind to defend it.

    Either way, once those heathenous, god-hating liberals are the only ones left on Earth, they won’t be able to trash the Constitution’s principles for too long. With all the sodomy that will undoubtedly ensue, the lack of breeding will wipe them out in a few generations if their criminal nature doesn’t lead them to kill themselves off sooner.

    Comment by Fascinated and Confused — September 28, 2007 @ 12:06 pm | Reply

  2. “Either way, once those heathenous, god-hating liberals are the only ones left on Earth, they won’t be able to trash the Constitution’s principles for too long. With all the sodomy that will undoubtedly ensue, the lack of breeding will wipe them out in a few generations if their criminal nature doesn’t lead them to kill themselves off sooner.”

    Hopefully, God will smite them even sooner. Why will Clarence Thomas be left behind, though?

    Comment by Sisyphus — September 28, 2007 @ 12:51 pm | Reply

  3. The solution is clear. Engrave the consitution onto a set of tablets, with the ten commandments on one side and the good parts of the consitution on the other.

    (I don’t think we should include all the women’s rights this and black rights that… these were added later)

    Oh and we should make sure to incldue the parts where the consitution says that this is a Christian Nation founded in GOD’s image.

    That is real important.

    anyway then we should strap the tablets on the backs of some specially saved servants and they can take them with them into the rapture….

    Comment by Happy Clam — September 28, 2007 @ 1:17 pm | Reply

  4. I hope god casts me in the lake of fire around January 20th, it’s cold up here in Wisconsin around then.

    Comment by Larry — September 28, 2007 @ 1:36 pm | Reply

  5. America…..with all its gospel freedom and light, is the wickedest nation on earth.
    Its not longer a matter of God blessing this nation ( and Canada) but only a matter of time before he turns it into the hell it so justly deserves.Forget the patriotism, the flag waving, and the constitution, God is very very angry at America which has scorned his gospel for so long.

    Comment by bgraef — September 28, 2007 @ 1:36 pm | Reply

  6. An interesting philosophical question, but I’m not too concerned about what happens down here after I’m raptured. And I won’t be coming back once I’m taken away. Count on it!

    If you think things are bad down here now, just wait until the restraining forces of good (Christians) are taken away leaving only the atheists and leftists to do whatever it is they most want to do in their black little hearts.

    Don’t think about it too much — you won’t get any sleep! A truly frightening thought. Hell on earth, literally.

    Comment by Psycheout — September 28, 2007 @ 2:25 pm | Reply

  7. And Happy Clam may be right; you don’t see any amendments to the Ten Commandments.

    Comment by Psycheout — September 28, 2007 @ 2:26 pm | Reply

  8. “I do hope Brownback is President during the Rapture. That way, after our return to Earth he can be our President forever. (Bush is an excellent President too, of course, but Brownback will be even better.) Anyway, God’s will be done on the matter. And may God bless these United States!”

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

    Bush is the WORST PRESIDENT IN AMERICAN HISTORY.

    Come on down to Jonestown. I hear the koolades good.

    Comment by Spacebrother — September 28, 2007 @ 3:53 pm | Reply

  9. It disgusted me that the unsaved will take the excuse of the rapture to give themselves over to their depravity. I mean just because God’s judgment is against them is not reason to stop being a good Christian. One of the ladies at my church knew she hell bound because her parent bore her out of wedlock yet you never saw her acting up. She was good Christian until the day she died and doubtlessly she is still a good Christian in hell (were the bastard rightfully belongs).

    I think Happy Clam has the best ideas; inscribe the Constitution in stone so the unsaved can’t pollute it.

    Comment by BJ Tabor — September 28, 2007 @ 4:23 pm | Reply

  10. “She was good Christian until the day she died and doubtlessly she is still a good Christian in hell (were the bastard rightfully belongs).”

    You just made the single biggest religious argument against abortion. If you’re gestating a bastard child, why would you WANT to birth it, cursing it with a life that is not only damned in the mortal world, but damned to Hell afterward? That seems like cruel and unusual punishment to me. Why not just abort it when it’s two cells? For God’s sake, biting your fingernails is genocide compared to that!

    Comment by Adam Nelson — September 28, 2007 @ 4:49 pm | Reply

  11. “Oh and we should make sure to incldue the parts where the consitution says that this is a Christian Nation founded in GOD’s image.”

    There are no such parts. But then you already knew that.

    “Bush is the WORST PRESIDENT IN AMERICAN HISTORY.”

    James Buchanan is still worse. And Warren Harding. Andrew Johnson was pretty bad. Franklin Pierce. Millard Filmore. William Henry Harrison, of course. History will likely put Bush in the bottom third, but he’s got a long way to go to be the worst.

    Comment by Salmo — September 28, 2007 @ 5:26 pm | Reply

  12. this is a joke, right?
    it’s satire of some sort?

    Comment by ben R. — September 28, 2007 @ 9:21 pm | Reply

  13. @ BJ Tabor:

    Your comment (post #9 above) just reinforces my belief that the first part of Genesis 1:26 has it EXACTLY 180 degrees BACKWARD. You and your like-minded fellows on this site have nothing but contempt for anyone you deem to be ‘unworthy’, hence you have ‘created’ a God who fits your judgemental image of how the world SHOULD be.

    I couldn’t be happier to say that your God is NOT my God: mine doesn’t hold the sins of the parents against their children. For that matter, He doesn’t hold those sins against THE PARENTS THEMSELVES if they truely repent of them!

    Comment by indyandy — September 28, 2007 @ 9:22 pm | Reply

  14. “this is a joke, right?
    it’s satire of some sort?”

    No.

    “I couldn’t be happier to say that your God is NOT my God: mine doesn’t hold the sins of the parents against their children. For that matter, He doesn’t hold those sins against THE PARENTS THEMSELVES if they truely repent of them!”

    Heathen.

    I love the idea of engraving the Constitution on stone tablets, but we have to hide them on hallowed ground. Otherwise, Satan and his minions could acquire them while we’re all in Heaven with Jesus.

    Comment by Sisyphus — September 29, 2007 @ 6:05 am | Reply

  15. “Heathen.”

    No, you’re the heathen.

    *commence infinite regression*

    Comment by Adam Nelson — September 29, 2007 @ 6:08 am | Reply

  16. In Christian charity we should leave those evil scum with some idea of how to govern themselves, although they won’t.

    Comment by Helen Bock — September 29, 2007 @ 9:17 am | Reply

  17. Adam,

    I am disgusted by your’ lack of compassion; just because some woman is bound for hell you want to kill her in cold blood. Is that what they do up in Canada? How would you all like it we Christians started invading countries and killing everyone because they were hellbound?

    Indyandy,

    God does visit the sins of the father upon the children. What do you think the story of the Fall from the Garden is about. If you don’t think God doesn’t do this then how do explain women? Heh smarty pants? I’m sure you can’t.

    Comment by BJ Tabor — September 29, 2007 @ 11:04 am | Reply

  18. Blogs 4 Brownback, Commenters:

    Come on people, don’t you realize that the world we live is essentially alienated from God except for those who by the Messiah’s grace and mercy, alone, that He has prophecied to “refuge” in heaven for seven years just after the rapture and then to return at His Second Coming just before the Tribulation and Great Tribulation.
    When people the world over pray daily the Our Father, they are praying for the coming of Christ’s millenial Kingdom: “Thy Kingdom Come. Thy Will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven”. When Jesus returns with His Faithful Saints and Angels to reclaim the title of the Earth from Satan after the Tribulation and Great Tribulation, the “redeemed world” will go into a paradigm shift and into the Righteous Ruling Glory of the Messiah Himself living here on earth with mankind for an initial 1,000 years and ruling the planet under a newly established Theocracy (heaven-on-Earth). Why would the world at that time have any need of the US Constitution? It’s principles will be written indelibly into every Heavenly citizen’s heart and practiced matter-of-factly.
    After the first 1,000 years on this earth, a new heaven and new earth are prophecied with all of eternity ahead of us in God’s created and expanding universe at His heavenly-headquartered newly created earth at first and wherever the Godhead later decides that it is best for His Faithful Saints and Angels and created beings to live for all eternity in His presence. Concluding in God’s word from the first epistle of Christ’s Apostle Paul to the early Christians of Corinth, Chapter 2, verses 7- 16, fathom this:

    7 But we speak the wisdom of God in a mystery, even the hidden wisdom, which God ordained before the world unto our glory:
    8 Which none of the princes of this world knew: for had they known it, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory.
    9 But as it is written, Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, neither has it entered into the heart of man, the things which God has prepared for them that love Him.
    10 But God has revealed them to us by His Spirit: for the Spirit searches all things, yea, the deep things of God.
    11 For what man knows the things of a man, save the spirit of man which is in him? even so the things of God knows no man, but the Spirit of God.
    12 Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit
    which is of God; that we might know the things that are freely given to us of God.
    13 Which things also we speak, not in the words which man’s wisdom teaches, but which the Holy Ghost teaches comparing spiritual things with spiritual.
    14 But the natural man receives not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness to him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned.
    15 But he that is spiritual judges all things, yet he himself is judged of no man.
    16 For who knows the Mind of the Lord, that he may instruct Him? But we have the Mind of Christ.

    God’s truth certainly has an ability to blow the natural man away,
    doesn’t it?

    In the Truth of Jesus (Hebrew: Yeshua’s) name,

    Jonah Immanu, Author
    Alienated Planet Earth and the End that will be Coming to Our World
    (trafford.com/04-2823); perusable for free on Google Book Search

    Comment by Jonah Immanu — September 29, 2007 @ 12:24 pm | Reply

  19. “How would you all like it we Christians started invading countries and killing everyone because they were hellbound?”

    You do. Remember the Crusades? The Inquisition?

    “just because some woman is bound for hell you want to kill her in cold blood.”

    Two cells isn’t a woman anymore than an acorn is a tree. Two cells can’t feel, can’t think, and is no different than two skin cells. If two cells were a person, we’d all be guilty of genocide everytime we cut our nails.

    You “pro-lifers” are hilarious; the lives of unborn, undifferenciated cells must be vigorously protected, but once they’re actually adults and out of the womb, suddenly they mean far less.

    Comment by Adam Nelson — September 29, 2007 @ 12:42 pm | Reply

  20. Remember the Crusades? The Inquisition?

    Before my time, treefrog.

    Comment by Psycheout — September 29, 2007 @ 2:40 pm | Reply

  21. Very inspiring, Jonah. Thanks for that!

    Comment by Psycheout — September 29, 2007 @ 2:41 pm | Reply

  22. To imply that someone born out of wedlock is going to hell is probably the stupidest thing I’ve ever read.

    This blog is run by charlatans and Bush is the worst president ever.

    Comment by Jeebiz — September 29, 2007 @ 3:04 pm | Reply

  23. “Before my time, treefrog.”

    Pathetic dodge, just pathetic. Well, chalk one up for me.

    Comment by Adam Nelson — September 30, 2007 @ 8:40 am | Reply

  24. To imply that someone born out of wedlock is going to hell is probably the stupidest thing I’ve ever read.

    I imply nothing, that is what The Bible says.

    Comment by BJ Tabor — September 30, 2007 @ 12:56 pm | Reply

  25. Oh my this man is seriously insnae.

    Comment by Jobober — September 30, 2007 @ 2:20 pm | Reply

  26. Oops typo, meant to say insane not insnae, hehe.

    Comment by Jobober — September 30, 2007 @ 2:21 pm | Reply

  27. Andrew Ryan will care for the Constitution in Rapture.

    Comment by Richard C Mongler — September 30, 2007 @ 2:38 pm | Reply

  28. “To imply that someone born out of wedlock is going to hell is probably the stupidest thing I’ve ever read.

    I imply nothing, that is what The Bible says.”

    Bible book, chapter & verse, please.

    Comment by indyandy — September 30, 2007 @ 5:03 pm | Reply

  29. Wouldn’t it be nice if the Rapture did exist, just to cleanse the Christians off the face of the Earth, hm?

    Comment by PROUD ASIAN SUPREMACIST — September 30, 2007 @ 9:11 pm | Reply

  30. This is a great satire piece and it shows a lot of creativity. However, the vast majority of the founding fathers were not “Christians” per se, they were Diests; they awknowelged the existance of God, but weren’t sure about anything else. That being said, I’m sure that when this “rapture” occurs, the Constitution will be in much safer hands. Us sinners and Satanists aren’t the ones trying to alter it by depriving gays of their human rights, journalists their right to report, and all Americans their God-given right to get trashed.

    Comment by engelfluglen — October 1, 2007 @ 7:00 am | Reply

  31. Engelfluglen – do we really need your Orwellian revisionist version of US History? The Founding Fathers believed in God, yes, that means they believed in Jesus, duh. That’s what the Trinity is all about.

    As far as gays, the free press and drunks go my religion demands I persecute them. What do you have against people practicing their own faith? Are you some kind of neo-Stalinist who wants to force some political correct, humanist regime on America with death camps for Christians?

    Intolerant bigots like you make me sick Engelfuglen.

    Comment by BJ Tabor — October 1, 2007 @ 9:05 am | Reply

  32. And you somehow don’t think that the author of this blog is an intolerant bigot? Im my expierence, organized religion creates more harm than good. I believe in God, I don’t believe that there is only one path to God. And please show me the part of the New Testament where Jesus demands to persecute people. I’d love to see which passage you’re refering too.

    There is a difference between practicing your faith and forcing it down the throats of others. That’s where I believe the line should be drawn. All Americans have the freedom to practice whatever they believe, but when someone practicing their faith interfers with another’s right to practice their faith there is a problem. Case in point: I don’t want to be walking around my state university, on state property, and have Campus Crusade for Christ handing me pamphlets and talking to me about Jesus and how I’m going to Hell if I don’t accept Him as my Lord and Savior.

    It is not the government’s place to sanction or fund any religious orginization, and when the government starts imposing religion on citizens only bad things happen. The government should act as an impartial agent and work for the greater good of all Americans, regardless of the personal views of the people in power. You forget that not all of America is a bible-thumping fundamentalist Christian.

    Comment by engelfluglen — October 1, 2007 @ 9:34 am | Reply

  33. It’s so funny that for someone who cares so much about one of the greatest documents in human history, the American Constitution, you don’t have a clue what it means, or what your own founding fathers believed.

    The treaty of Tripoli, 1797:

    As the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion;

    Remember Thomas Jefferson:

    To talk of immaterial existences is to talk of nothings. To say that the human soul, angels, gods, are immaterial, is to say they are nothings, or that there is no god, or angels, or soul. I cannot reason otherwise… I am satisfied, and sufficiently occupied with the things which are, without tormenting or troubling myself about those which may indeed be, but of which I have no evidence.

    …and Jefferson again:

    Christianity is the most perverted system that ever shone on man.

    How about James Madison:

    During almost fifteen centuries has the legal establishment of Christianity been on trial. What has been its fruits? More or less, in all places, pride and indolence in the clergy; ignorance and severity and servility in the laity; in both, superstition, bigotry and persecution.

    Benjamin Franklin:

    Lighthouses are more useful than churches.

    John Adams:

    “But how has it happened that millions of fables, tales, legends, have been blended with both Jewish and Christian revelation that have made them the most bloody religion that ever existed?”

    Besides all your hateful ranting about non-believers, maybe you should inspect the very history of the country that you love so much. How is it that an Englishman like myself knows more about the Founding Fathers and their beliefs and concepts of the SECULAR USA than you do??

    Having said all this, I encourage you to please, keep on writing. Your hateful bitter ranting demonstrates just how hollow and hypocritical fundamentalist religion really is; we see you for what you are! And rather than wish for your death (as you do mine), I look forward to the time (and it WILL come) then the world is secular and free from religion and we look back on childish myths like Christianity and laugh!

    Comment by evanescent — October 1, 2007 @ 11:39 am | Reply

  34. How is it that an Englishman like myself knows more about the Founding Fathers and their beliefs and concepts of the SECULAR USA than you do??

    Easy, since you are from England you do not understand the subtle complexities of the American-English language like a native born American would. Those founding fathers were railing against the wickedness of the neo-pagan Church of England, in other words the Christian Religion not the Christian faith. However too a man they were all Evangelists like us modern Christians.

    we see you for what you are! And rather than wish for your death (as you do mine)

    I wish for no such thing. If you die unsaved you will go to hell were Satan will pound your backside with his barded member while giving you sulfur facials for all eternity. I wish that on no one. I pray you repent of superstitious nonsense like Darwinism and Heliocentracism and accept Christ as your Savior before it is too late.

    Can’t you see beyond your’ hate Evenescent? I am praying to Jesus you will.

    Comment by BJ Tabor — October 1, 2007 @ 2:39 pm | Reply

  35. Wonderfully made points, BJ, especially the distinction between true Christianity and the decadent Church of England. You are truly a gift from G-d.

    Comment by Psycheout — October 1, 2007 @ 2:49 pm | Reply

  36. Easy, since you are from England you do not understand the subtle complexities of the American-English language like a native born American would. Those founding fathers were railing against the wickedness of the neo-pagan Church of England, in other words the Christian Religion not the Christian faith. However too a man they were all Evangelists like us modern Christians.

    These are quite simply, lies. Lies spread to distort history and the facts. I know you’d love to believe that American was founded as a Christian nation, but, as you can see, and as you should know, it simply wasn’t. It was founded as a secular democratic republic, with a separation from church and state.

    I wish for no such thing. If you die unsaved you will go to hell were Satan will pound your backside with his barded member while giving you sulfur facials for all eternity. I wish that on no one. I pray you repent of superstitious nonsense like Darwinism and Heliocentracism and accept Christ as your Savior before it is too late.

    LOL. You’re wishing that a mythical evil being won’t torture me in a mythical evil place forever? Wow, gee, thanks for that. Whilst we’re at it, I wish tooth-fairies don’t poke you to death in your sleep!

    Darwinism? Do you ever know the scientific definition of evolution? I bet you don’t, because you’d rather believe a Jewish myth 4000 years old instead of real facts.

    Heliocentrism (correcting your spelling mistake)? Are you saying you DON’T believe in it?? You don’t believe the earth goes around the sun? I’m sorry, what year are you living in? Pssst BJ, Zeus doesn’t exist! Just so you know before you embarrass yourself, we don’t use leeches anymore, or worship the sun god, or do rain dances. Oh, and demons don’t cause illness, and that little myth called “god” you believe in is no different to Allah or Thor. Oh, and the earth goes around the sun!

    Can’t you see beyond your’ hate Evenescent? I am praying to Jesus you will.

    Oh, but I don’t hate you, dear human being. I would fight for your life and your right to exist. You can hold any opinion you want, and I would fight for your right for free speech. I love humanity.

    That’s because I’m a humanist. I’m an atheist! We don’t hate those that are different. We don’t preach hell and suffering in the name of a loving god!

    Seriously, people will look back on this rubbish your ilk spew and laugh, but perhaps you should be pitied. Just like we pity people with mental disorders and psychiatric problems; perhaps a padded cell and a straight jacket would be better for you?? Shhhh! There there, BJ, there there, it’s ok, the nurse will be around soon…

    Comment by evanescent — October 1, 2007 @ 3:44 pm | Reply

  37. These are quite simply, lies. Lies spread to distort history and the facts. I know you’d love to believe that American was founded as a Christian nation, but, as you can see, and as you should know, it simply wasn’t. It was founded as a secular democratic republic, with a separation from church and state.

    Friend, all our money says “In God we Trust” and we pledge alliance to “One nation, under God.” We may not have an official religion but America is a Christian nation founded by Christians.

    LOL. You’re wishing that a mythical evil being won’t torture me in a mythical evil place forever? Wow, gee, thanks for that. Whilst we’re at it, I wish tooth-fairies don’t poke you to death in your sleep!

    Don’t laugh. I don’t want to see you bent over a lava vent by some demon and be forced to gargle burning sulfur. That’s just to horrible thing about and there is nothing funny about it. It’s cruel of you to mock my concern for your well being.

    Darwinism? Do you ever know the scientific definition of evolution? I bet you don’t, because you’d rather believe a Jewish myth 4000 years old instead of real facts.
    Heliocentrism (correcting your spelling mistake)? Are you saying you DON’T believe in it??

    Do look around this blog friend. There are whole articles on the evil, soul destroying ideas of Darwinism and Heliocentrism. It is important you read them because your very life might depend on it!

    That’s because I’m a humanist. I’m an atheist! We don’t hate those that are different. We don’t preach hell and suffering in the name of a loving god!

    But you hate god friend, that is in your religion’s name “atheism”; it means anti god. Your’ whole philosophy is based on a negative. I am surprised you don’t slit your own throats with such and empty belief (please don’t BTW)

    Comment by BJ Tabor — October 1, 2007 @ 4:32 pm | Reply

  38. Friend, all our money says “In God we Trust” and we pledge alliance to “One nation, under God.” We may not have an official religion but America is a Christian nation founded by Christians.

    That is true, but those mottos were ADDED to American currency and to the American ethic LONG AFTER the founding fathers formed the Great Constitution. Federally endorsing US currency with a particular deity is a direct violation of the Constitution.

    As an Englishman, I think the Constitution is a fantastic document. The founding fathers would spin in their graves if they could see what religious zealots and bigots like you have done to a great nation.

    Don’t laugh. I don’t want to see you bent over a lava vent by some demon and be forced to gargle burning sulfur. That’s just to horrible thing about and there is nothing funny about it. It’s cruel of you to mock my concern for your well being.

    HAHAHAHAHAHA. Is that laughing loud enough? Don’t you get it? What you’ve just said is like threatening to get Gandalf to put a spell on me, or cursing me with the wrath of Zeus, or wishing Poisedon would drown me! It means nothing to me. I think it is a silly little myth, just like all other religions on earth.

    It’s nice to know that your idea of a loving god is torturing people for all eternity. Perhaps this says more about your own personality! Your idle threats are irrelevant to me. Men of conscience cannot be intimidated by wicked bigots with empty threats.

    Do look around this blog friend. There are whole articles on the evil, soul destroying ideas of Darwinism and Heliocentrism. It is important you read them because your very life might depend on it!

    Again, more empty threats. My life depends on no such thing. I think more importantly, you should read a science book that was written in the last 150 years! Because we’ve known the earth goes around the sun and that species evolve for at least as long as that. You’re living in the Dark Ages my friend, but just because you like it there doesn’t mean the rest of us want to join you.

    But you hate god friend, that is in your religion’s name “atheism”; it means anti god. Your’ whole philosophy is based on a negative. I am surprised you don’t slit your own throats with such and empty belief (please don’t BTW)

    Hate god? Why, how silly. How can I hate something that doesn’t exist? Do YOU hate Father Christmas? Do you hate the Easter Bunny? How funny!

    As for slitting my throat, I’m sorry to disappoint you but my philosophy is based on loving other human beings and doing what is best for other people. I don’t care about your invisible friend. What matters to me is enjoying life and being the best person I can, and caring for other human beings. That is very satisfying!

    It’s such a shame you can’t see how amusing you are. Hurling threats, fuming with hate for non-believers, thinking the earth doesn’t orbit the sun, thinking we were created by a magical sky fairy! Honestly, please keep this blog going!! You are doing the cause of atheism no end of good! The more people see real fundamentalists like you spitting inhuman evil, the more they will realise what a lying waste of time religion is! 😉

    Comment by evanescent — October 1, 2007 @ 5:04 pm | Reply

  39. “Friend, all our money says “In God we Trust” and we pledge alliance to “One nation, under God.” We may not have an official religion but America is a Christian nation founded by Christians.”

    Funny that.
    Really.
    I mean, the Constitution clearly does not mention the Christian god.
    In fact, it goes to lengths not NOT mention it.
    And the money sayd “in god we trust”.

    Seeing as it never mentions God by name, it makes one wonder which god exactly that is. I mean, for all you know it’s Cthulu.

    Now, fun speculation aside, and back to the topic at hand, I seem to remember that the Rapture will take only a limited number of people, numbering maybe a couple of thousand. (I want to say it was 1666 but I’m not sure about that. I’ll have to check my copy of the catechism). How are you so sure that ALL christians will be taken?

    Comment by Curiouser and Curiouser — October 1, 2007 @ 5:06 pm | Reply

  40. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

    Comment by Sisyphus — October 2, 2007 @ 4:32 am | Reply

  41. “That is true, but those mottos were ADDED to American currency and to the American ethic LONG AFTER the founding fathers formed the Great Constitution. ”

    The founding fathers may have been visionaries, but unlike Jesus, they weren’t perfect. Of course we, as a nation, proceeded to fix the oversights of the Founding Fathers; it’s what they’d have wanted us to do.

    Quite frankly, I blame all the heathenous liberal treefrogs in that middle time period for not getting to these tasks sooner. Can you imagine our beautiful Christian nation’s money WITHOUT a tribute to God? I can’t, nor do I want to.

    Comment by Fascinated and Confused — October 2, 2007 @ 8:24 am | Reply

  42. “In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.”

    Comment by Sisyphus — October 2, 2007 @ 4:32 am

    You’re a phoney Christain.

    Comment by Spacebrother — October 2, 2007 @ 9:13 am | Reply

  43. Spacebrother @ You’re a phoney Christain.

    You are a phoney here you racist bigot with your cut and past Bible.

    Comment by BJ Tabor — October 2, 2007 @ 9:28 am | Reply

  44. “You are a phoney here you racist bigot with your cut and past Bible.”

    Comment by BJ Tabor — October 2, 2007 @ 9:28 am

    I love people of all races. You support starting wars against non-caucasion, peaceful peoples everywhere.

    Jesus hates you BJ.

    Comment by Spacebrother — October 2, 2007 @ 11:09 am | Reply

  45. Spacebrother @ I love people of all races. You support starting wars against non-caucasion, peaceful peoples everywhere.

    Hogwash, when it comes to love for my fellow man you won’t find anyone more full of it than me. I know it is hard for you Spacebrother, since Lucifer has himself latched onto your daddy stick like a lamprey of sin, but if you look up in this very thread you will see me trying to save a worthless English atheist from damnation.

    These people, even the little brown, stupid ones, need the help of us Christians. That’s why Jesus gifted us Americans with the great country. Instead, according to so called “Christians” like you Spacebrother, we should sit around and give out free medicine to drug addicts and help harlots murder their little babies for free.

    Jesus weeps when he thinks of you Spacebrother. I will pray that you see the truth and turn to Him before it is too late.

    Spacebrother @ Jesus hates you BJ.

    The judgment a non-believer like you mean nothing to me Spacebrother. However I forgive you seven times seventy because I know Satan is just using you threw your’ colon like a meat puppet.

    Comment by BJ Tabor — October 2, 2007 @ 11:43 am | Reply

  46. I hope God sends every single one of those homo Hippie bastards to Hell. I’m doing my par t by raising my kids to hate thm as mcuh as I do. It’s the only thing a real American would do.

    Comment by Justin R. — October 2, 2007 @ 12:32 pm | Reply

  47. BJ Tabor said:

    but if you look up in this very thread you will see me trying to save a worthless English atheist from damnation.

    So, I’m worthless? To who? You? god? The tooth fairy?

    Who am I worthless to? Isn’t that rather unchristian of you?

    What does the fact that I’m English have to do with it? Doesn’t god like english people? Oh I forgot, god wears the stars and stripes doesn’t he? LOL.

    This is comedy stuff. You’re a good troll BJ. You are a perfect advert for atheism! Keep talking, please! The more you talk hateful hilarious rubbish about satan bla bla and threatening people with your invisible friend, you’re pushing them more towards the TRUTH: there is no god!

    I’m laughing! We’re all laughing at you. The only real unfunny thing is that you belong in an asylum. Awww well, maybe the men in white coats will catch up with you soon.

    Comment by evanescent — October 2, 2007 @ 1:06 pm | Reply

  48. evanescent @ So, I’m worthless? To who? You? god? The tooth fairy?

    Until you accept Jesus as your’ personal savior I am afraid that is true. Remember Jesus has unconditional love for you so don’t make Him have burn in Hell friend.

    evanescent @ What does the fact that I’m English have to do with it? Doesn’t god like english people? Oh I forgot, god wears the stars and stripes doesn’t he? LOL.

    If He isn’t American why do real Christian churches have American flags up behind their altars? My church certainly does and it is huge one. Anyway it’s not like being English is an impossible liability to overcome for salvation.

    evanescent @ I’m laughing! We’re all laughing at you. The only real unfunny thing is that you belong in an asylum. Awww well, maybe the men in white coats will catch up with you soon.

    Must you mock me friend? I mean Jesus helps me see threw your scorn; deep down inside you know God exists and you hate Him for it because you know you are not one of His most beloved. So the only way you can hurt God is to hurt yourself by becoming an atheist.

    Won’t you come back to His love friend? Repent before it is too late and you are just another orifice in the Lake of Fire for some demon to ram its’ oversize spiked member into.

    Comment by BJ Tabor — October 2, 2007 @ 1:21 pm | Reply

  49. Remember Jesus has unconditional love for you so don’t make Him have burn in Hell friend.

    Have you ever considered going on stage? Hahaha!! Jesus loves me unconditionally yet he will burn me in “hell” or whatever you loons are calling it? If he is going to burn me in hell on the condition that I don’t believe in him, then he doesn’t love me unconditionally!

    You’ve just shot yourself in the foot. How embarrassing for you!

    If He isn’t American why do real Christian churches have American flags up behind their altars? My church certainly does and it is huge one. Anyway it’s not like being English is an impossible liability to overcome for salvation.

    Well what a relief! Fortunately for me, I don’t believe any god would have racist bigots as his followers, so even if I believed in god, you wouldn’t be his followers.

    Must you mock me friend? I mean Jesus helps me see threw your scorn; deep down inside you know God exists and you hate Him for it because you know you are not one of His most beloved. So the only way you can hurt God is to hurt yourself by becoming an atheist.

    That’s so strange; I was just about to say this to you:

    I mean Allah helps me see threw your scorn; deep down inside you know Allah exists and you hate Him for it because you know you are not one of His most beloved. So the only way you can hurt Allah is to hurt yourself by becoming an infidel.

    Of course I don’t believe in Allah. But then I don’t believe in jebus either. It’s a shame you’re probably too dense to realise the irony of my statement.

    Won’t you come back to His love friend? Repent before it is too late and you are just another orifice in the Lake of Fire for some demon to ram its’ oversize spiked member into.

    Oh, are we back to threatening again with our invisible friends? Are you sure you’re anti-homosexual, because every threat that creeps its way out of your vile mouth is steeped in sodomy and sexual sadomasichism. Perhaps you’re frustrated by your own desires? Maybe you need to come out the closet? Just let yourself go. It’s ok! Being gay is nothing to be ashamed of! I’d pray for you, but I’m an adult.

    Keep it coming BJ, I’m used to debating with intelligent theists so ripping you to shreds is just playful sport on the side for me! Mwahahaha.

    Comment by evanescent — October 2, 2007 @ 1:41 pm | Reply

  50. evanescent @ Have you ever considered going on stage? Hahaha!! Jesus loves me unconditionally yet he will burn me in “hell” or whatever you loons are calling it? If he is going to burn me in hell on the condition that I don’t believe in him, then he doesn’t love me unconditionally!

    Yes He loves you; Parents discipline their children all the time so Jesus throwing disobedient souls into the Lake of Fire is just the same thing. He only does it because He cares. Hell is just tough love.

    evanescent @ That’s so strange; I was just about to say this to you:
    I mean Allah helps me see threw your scorn; deep down inside you know Allah exists and you hate Him for it because you know you are not one of His most beloved. So the only way you can hurt Allah is to hurt yourself by becoming an infidel.
    Of course I don’t believe in Allah. But then I don’t believe in jebus either. It’s a shame you’re probably too dense to realise the irony of my statement.

    There is nothing ironic about your statement friend. Islam is a false, made up men living in tents the desert writing down what ever they felt like and then saying it came from invisible men only they can see. In other words completely unlike Christianity!

    But I digress, you were about to say that it because secretly you believe , you just can’t admit it to yourself so you hide behind false gods like Allah and Charles Darwin. Do you want to end up like Richard Dawkins and vomit up blood any time you hear Jesus name spoken out load? If no, accept Jesus before it is too.

    evanescent @ Oh, are we back to threatening again with our invisible friends? Are you sure you’re anti-homosexual, because every threat that creeps its way out of your vile mouth is steeped in sodomy and sexual sadomasichism. Perhaps you’re frustrated by your own desires? Maybe you need to come out the closet? Just let yourself go. It’s ok! Being gay is nothing to be ashamed of! I’d pray for you, but I’m an adult.

    Must you mock me? I am as serious as the fires of Hell on this. You wouldn’t think this is funny if you saw the films my Pastors shows us in church Sunday about what those huge demons do to sinners in Hell. Last Sunday one of the Deacons burnt a live chicken in church with a blow torch do show us what Hell is like. Do you want that to be you? Repent before it is too late.

    Comment by BJ Tabor — October 2, 2007 @ 2:25 pm | Reply

  51. Islam is a false, made up men living in tents the desert writing down what ever they felt like and then saying it came from invisible men only they can see. In other words completely unlike Christianity!

    Thank you.
    I needed that laugh.

    Comment by Curiouser and Curiouser — October 2, 2007 @ 3:03 pm | Reply

  52. evanescent is either really confused or intentionally obtuse. Jesus does not burn you in Hell, silly, Satan does. If you can’t figure that out, you truly are a lost little lamb who needs to find his way.

    BJ is reaching out to you and all you can do is bite his hand. It’s amazing what people will do to avoid serving their own best self interest by refusing to hear the gentle voice of Jesus or to swallow their pride and tell G-d, just once, that they love Him for giving them the precious gift of life.

    Cannot you see the price of your folly? If you are right, the universe is an empty place and once you die, everything you were will disappear forever. If you’re wrong you writhe in agony through eternity. Have you ever heard of insurance?

    Your world is empty and scornful. Ours is loving and full of G-d. Think about it, friend.

    Comment by Psycheout — October 2, 2007 @ 3:23 pm | Reply

  53. “Your world is empty and scornful. Ours is loving and full of G-d. Think about it, friend.”

    Comment by Psycheout — October 2, 2007 @ 3:23 pm

    Unless you are a liberal, scientist, rock musician, French national, east coast resident, west coast resident, … did i leave anyone else out?

    BTW: I am STILL waiting for BJ Tabor (or anyone, for that matter) to cite me the EXACT Bible passage that states that anyone born out of wedlock is irrevocably damned to Hell.

    Not that I’m expecting a reply: you guys & gals never seem to respond to my challenges to come up with book, chapter & verse everytime that you try to use the “it’s in the Bible” excuse for your rantings.

    Comment by indyandy — October 2, 2007 @ 10:53 pm | Reply

  54. “The United States is in no sense founded upon the Christian Doctrine.”
    George Washington

    “I do not find in orthodox Christianity one redeeming feature.”
    Thomas Jefferson

    “Of all the tyrannies that affect mankind, tyranny in religion is the worst.”
    Thomas Paine

    “During almost fifteen centuries the legal establishment known as Christianity has been on trial, and what have been the fruits, more or less, in all places? These are the fruits: pride, indolence, ignorance, and arrogance in the clergy. Ignorance, arrogance, and servility in the laity, and in both clergy and laity, superstition, bigotry, and persecution.”
    James Madison

    “The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the Supreme Being as his Father, in the womb of a virgin, will be classified with the fable of the generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter. But we may hope that the dawn of reason and the freedom of thought in these United States will do away with this artificial scaffolding, and restore to us the primitive and genuine doctrines of this most venerated Reformer of human errors.”
    Thomas Jefferson

    “In every country in every age, the priest has been hostile to liberty. He is always in alliance with the despot, abetting his abuses in return for protection to his own.”
    Thomas Jefferson, from letters to Horatio G. Spafford and Dr. Thomas Cooper.

    The US Consitution was drafted mainly by James Madison; the Declaration of Independence by Thomas Jefferson.

    Comment by Ben — October 3, 2007 @ 12:56 am | Reply

  55. indyandy,

    Why are all you false Christians so lazy? As a Christian you should know bastards aren’t allowed in church;

    Deuteronomy 23:2 A bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD; even to his tenth generation shall he not enter into the congregation of the LORD.

    Now how can a bastard go into Church, repent and accept Jesus as his personal savior if God won’t let the bastard into Church? They can’t. So clearly they are hellbound.

    Ben,

    I already explained to you the difference between the Christian Religion and Christianity. Yes America has no Christian Religion, but it is a nation of Christians. That’s why we need to elect Senator Brownback so we can restore Biblical law.

    Comment by BJ Tabor — October 3, 2007 @ 7:24 am | Reply

  56. @ BJ Tabor:

    Fair play to you for backing up your assertion with a supporting Bible passage.

    Given the passage in question, though, I have to ask a question about the woman you mentioned in post #9 above: Did she ever openly acknowledge to you or anyone else that she believed that she was Hell-bound for being concieved/born out of wedlock? Also, what, if anything, did the pastor at this church ever say on the matter/

    I’m not saying that ‘knowing that you are going to Hell’ no matter what you do is somehow an ‘excuse’ for acting as badly/evil/whatever as you wish while you are alive, but now I am REALLY currious as to just why she even bothered going to church.

    I’m guessing that she didn’t accept that her fate was already fixed.

    Comment by indyandy — October 3, 2007 @ 11:10 am | Reply

  57. Indyandy @ Given the passage in question, though, I have to ask a question about the woman you mentioned in post #9 above: Did she ever openly acknowledge to you or anyone else that she believed that she was Hell-bound for being concieved/born out of wedlock? Also, what, if anything, did the pastor at this church ever say on the matter/

    Yes, of course she acknowledged it and our pastors pointed her out in several sermons. God’s law is God’s law. What kind of Christians would be if we didn’t follow it?

    I have to admit she was quite spectacularly shocked and outraged when the church deacons forcibly pulled out of her pew when they found out about her. (she kicked one of the deacon’s in his unmentionables) But once she was shown the scripture she realized the pastor was only doing what Jesus feels is best for us.

    Indyandy @ I’m not saying that ‘knowing that you are going to Hell’ no matter what you do is somehow an ‘excuse’ for acting as badly/evil/whatever as you wish while you are alive, but now I am REALLY currious as to just why she even bothered going to church.

    What kind of question is that? She was a good Christian for crying out load.

    Indyandy @ I’m guessing that she didn’t accept that her fate was already fixed.

    We can only hope God chose to be merciful and at lest found the poor woman a cooler place at the edge of the lake of fire. At lest she wasn’t a Democrat or something truly awful. The Bible is crystal clear on this and we know God is fair about His law so you can be sure this woman got the justice she deserved.

    Comment by BJ Tabor — October 3, 2007 @ 11:55 am | Reply

  58. Jesus still hates you BJ. Charlatans and fascist theocrats already have they’re reservations booked for hell right next door to the guy with the pitchfork and pointed tail.

    Comment by Spacebrother — October 3, 2007 @ 1:39 pm | Reply

  59. I feel that the most important issue aside from the fag, dyke, abortion, school, and anything else that pertains to Christianity is guns. I think B4B needs to cover this more. Guns are vital instruments designed to give Christians dominion, and have always been closely associated with Christianity. The NRA is one of the best Christian organizations I know of (although I do wish they would encourage legalization of machine guns and grenades), and aside from the John Birch Society, may be the most important not-exclusively-Christian lobby in America. It infuriates me how liberals and their filthy Supreme Court keep on misinterpreting this simple fact. We NEED to defend ourselves from gays, atheists, neopagans, polytheists, bisexuals, agnostics, seculars, Muslims, Jews unwilling to go to Israel to fulfill God’s prophecy of the slaughter of 67% of their people, false Christians, and people on welfare. If we do not seize the day, these sick f-cks will rule America.

    [Ed Note: Good point.]

    Comment by Bob_Corker — October 3, 2007 @ 2:06 pm | Reply

  60. Spaming Spacebrother. I’ve already told you I care not what a false Christian like you thinks of me so why do you bother?

    Comment by BJ Tabor — October 3, 2007 @ 2:57 pm | Reply

  61. You’re a sinner and don’t deny it BJ. Pat Robertson and Jesus want your money.

    Comment by Spacebrother — October 3, 2007 @ 5:53 pm | Reply

  62. Regarding post number 57. I am the lady in question’s cousin.
    Yes, she new she was going to Hell, but that didn’t stop her from being a good Christian. she worked with the youth and was active in teaching abstinence. She used herself as an example of what pre-marital sex could lead to. I believe she is in hell as we speak. But, it is not for the likes of me to question god’s plan. If her burning in Hell has saved several girls from making the mistake her ancestors made, then it would be worth it. think how many souls could be lost over ten generations.

    Comment by e mayfield — October 4, 2007 @ 5:58 am | Reply

  63. apology for the foul language. I hate sinners with a passion.

    Comment by Bob_Corker — October 5, 2007 @ 2:50 pm | Reply

  64. i can’t wait until the rapture takes all you wingnuts away. praise be to jesus when it occurs. i’ll be enjoying myself on the lake and “rapturing” in your arrogant, war-mongering absence. i hope jesus shakes his finger at you. you will be sorely disappointed. by the way, try READING the constitution; nothing about god. i would never want to spend eternity with you psychopaths. also, jesus was not white. what color are people from that area (i.e., the middle east), typically? hmmm…seems he’d look more like an arab than a wasp. yee haw…give me hell any day rather than one second of the everlasting life with you insane, sad freaks.

    Comment by Reasoner — October 9, 2007 @ 11:51 pm | Reply

  65. Could someone please show me the exact verse in Revelation where it says Rapture theory is valid?

    Because I was always taught that EVERYONE would be judged at once, and the righteous would go straight to heaven, and the unrighteous would go straight to hell, all at the exact moment of Christ’s return.

    RAPTURE THEORY GOES AGAINST THE BIBLE AND HAS BEEN DEBUNKED 200 YEARS AGO. DO SOME RESEARCH ON YOUR OWN RELIGION PEOPLE.

    Comment by Confused — October 20, 2007 @ 1:40 am | Reply

  66. “We can only hope God chose to be merciful and at lest found the poor woman a cooler place at the edge of the lake of fire. At lest she wasn’t a Democrat or something truly awful. The Bible is crystal clear on this and we know God is fair about His law so you can be sure this woman got the justice she deserved.”

    Yes, because REMORSE AND REPENTANCE MEAN NOTHING, right? Well, that’s what you’re saying there. Congratulations, you just denied one of the main precepts of Christianity, for if sins are not forgiven, and EVERYONE HAS SINNED (except of course for Christ and the BVM), faith is useless.

    I prefer to believe in the healing power of penitence and self-reformation, thankyouverymuch.

    Comment by Confused — October 20, 2007 @ 1:44 am | Reply

  67. Dear Sisyphus, Psycheout (how fitting!), and all other editors of this site:

    Enjoy your stay in Purgatory. I hope for your sakes that it is as short as possible.🙂

    Comment by a TRUE Christian — October 23, 2007 @ 9:04 am | Reply


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