Blogs 4 Brownback

August 21, 2007

Keep America’s Presidents Triclavian

Filed under: Defending America,Faith,Prayers,Religion — Sisyphus @ 11:09 am

Three NailsOne aspect of this campaign that has become very significant is where the candidates stand on Christianity. Now, obviously, America is a Christian nation and needs a Christian President to ensure its moral impregnability. But being Christian isn’t enough in these troubled times. It’s important to be the right kind of Christian.

Triclavianism is as important to Christianity as the idea of the Resurrection. Triclavians believe that which is true- three nails, and three only, were used to puncture the hands and feet of Our Lord at Golgotha. To renounce this doctrine is to renounce Christianity. Three nails, one for each aspect of the Trinity. Four nails is blasphemy.

Brownback, a devout Catholic, is a Triclavian. To the best of my knowledge, Mitt Romney is not. Mormons are too busy prancing about in their magic underwear to care about such things as the Trinity, Jesus, or America. As for the Democrats, the less said about them, the better. Atheists, secularists, Jews, and Islamists like Osama Obama do not concern themselves with the number of nails driven into Our Lord’s flesh during the time of His Crucifixion.

Sadly, not everyone understands all this. Certain deviant heretics have belittled the significance of Triclavian verity.

There have been some questions as of late on why we moved our web-site. As stated, it was due to our previous host’s lack of strong condemnation of triclavianism. I would like to clarify this situation as I think it illustrates an overlooked heresy in today’s Church.

Triclavianists hold that three, and only three, nails were used to affix our Lord Jesus Christ to the cross. While it might be true that three nails were used — and, in fact, archeological evidences uncovered by Biblical researchers positively point to this conclusion — it is erroneous, and theologically dangerous, to make this a doctrinal position. The Bible does not enumerate the Lord’s nails and any extra-Biblical research on the subject — while both interesting and useful for apologetic purposes when dealing with those afflicted with a Secular world view that denies even the historicity of our Lord’s passion and crucifixion — cannot be considered of any substantive import to the Faith.

The Bible is the infallible and inerrant word of God; everything that He wanted us to know about Faith can be found in its pages. If He remains silent on the issue of the number of nails used in the sacrifice of His only begotten Son, then it is not for us to presume to make it a point of contention. Those that do are like the Pharisees, hypocritical in their righteousness based on their own worldly learning, and they will lead people astray and away from the True teachings of God. Therefore, we must oppose their strident and irrelevant teachings on the triune nature of the implements of our Lord’s impalement.

The heresy in triclavianism is not the belief in the use of only three nails, per se. Rather, it is the insistence that fallible, non-Biblical sources of information should be used as a guide to important matters of Faith. Triclavianism is merely a pernicious symptom of a greater illness inflicting today’s Christians: the allowing of Secularists to subvert the authority of Christ’s teachings, thereby replacing Faith with skepticism and knowledge with ignorance. Those who do not oppose this illness strongly enough, although their motives may be pure, are only helping to spread it.

This man is a fool as well as a liar and a dog. Jesus suffered three nails. He was One of Three executed, just as He Is One of the Three in the Holy Trinity. For Jesus to have endured more than three nails would not merely constitute polygamy- it would be contrary to Roman practice of using as few nails as possible during the execution of political prisoners. In other words, it is lunacy as well as blasphemy.

Yet these RINOs, Democrats, heathens, and knaves will cheerily sacrifice their souls in a vain effort to inherit the American mantle, albeit only for as long as it takes to destroy the nation.

If Brownback does not win, true patriots, Triclavians, and Christians will suffer a grievous defeat. I weep for such a future.

29 Comments »

  1. Wow – can’t say that I’ve ever heard of this particular ‘debate’ before.

    While it does stand to reason that no more than three nails/spikes/whatever would be used (as long as they were sturdy enough to support the weight of the condemed), I have to agree with those who question the overall relevance of the number used to the crucifixion/resurrection story.

    Explain please how more than three nails would constitute ‘polygamy’ – is there a second definition of that word that I am unaware of?

    Comment by indyandy — August 21, 2007 @ 11:50 am | Reply

  2. One aspect of this campaign that has become very significant is where the candidates stand on Christianity. Now, obviously, America is a Christian nation and needs a Christian President to ensure its moral impregnability. But being Christian isn’t enough in these troubled times. It’s important to be the right kind of Christian.

    Funny how the Founding Fathers explicitely stated that the USA are NO christian country. Evidence? Look at the constitution. Look at the Treaty of Tripoli.

    Triclavianism is as important to Christianity as the idea of the Resurrection. Triclavians believe that which is true- three nails, and three only, were used to puncture the hands and feet of Our Lord at Golgotha. To renounce this doctrine is to renounce Christianity. Three nails, one for each aspect of the Trinity. Four nails is blasphemy.

    Rather odd that the Romans would use exactly 3. They didn´t know all that much about christianity after all.

    Brownback, a devout Catholic, is a Triclavian. To the best of my knowledge, Mitt Romney is not. Mormons are too busy prancing about in their magic underwear to care about such things as the Trinity, Jesus, or America. As for the Democrats, the less said about them, the better. Atheists, secularists, Jews, and Islamists like Osama Obama do not concern themselves with the number of nails driven into Our Lord’s flesh during the time of His Crucifixion.

    Your best knowledge? What´s that? What your *** tells you? Otherwise, why should one bother? Wheter it were two, three, four or a dozen, it wouldn´t change anything.

    The Bible is the infallible and inerrant word of God; everything that He wanted us to know about Faith can be found in its pages. If He remains silent on the issue of the number of nails used in the sacrifice of His only begotten Son, then it is not for us to presume to make it a point of contention. Those that do are like the Pharisees, hypocritical in their righteousness based on their own worldly learning, and they will lead people astray and away from the True teachings of God. Therefore, we must oppose their strident and irrelevant teachings on the triune nature of the implements of our Lord’s impalement.

    The heresy in triclavianism is not the belief in the use of only three nails, per se. Rather, it is the insistence that fallible, non-Biblical sources of information should be used as a guide to important matters of Faith. Triclavianism is merely a pernicious symptom of a greater illness inflicting today’s Christians: the allowing of Secularists to subvert the authority of Christ’s teachings, thereby replacing Faith with skepticism and knowledge with ignorance. Those who do not oppose this illness strongly enough, although their motives may be pure, are only helping to spread it.

    WOW. Now that sounds like a declaration of war. Cool, intersectarian fighting withhin the christian nut-jobs. Will be fun to watch the mayhem from the sidelines.🙂🙂🙂

    Comment by PG — August 21, 2007 @ 12:22 pm | Reply

  3. I thought everybody understood the significance of the three nails. What is wrong with that guy you linked? It’s amazing how many loons are out there.

    Comment by Psycheout — August 21, 2007 @ 12:23 pm | Reply

  4. Wheter it were two, three, four or a dozen, it wouldn´t change anything.

    Our Savior was not a pincushion or a porcupine, PG.

    Comment by Psycheout — August 21, 2007 @ 12:25 pm | Reply

  5. Our Savior was not a pincushion or a porcupine, PG.

    You should try to exercise recognising sarcasm when you see it.🙂

    Comment by PG — August 21, 2007 @ 1:20 pm | Reply

  6. You should try to exercise recognising sarcasm when you see it.🙂

    I don’t think Blogs4Brownbeck is an appropriate place to make jokes PG.

    Comment by BJ Tabor — August 21, 2007 @ 2:23 pm | Reply

  7. I understand that the Crusaders brought back hundreds of nails allegedly used in the crucifixion, as well as enough pieces of the true Cross to re-forest Lebanon.

    Comment by Roy Ubu — August 21, 2007 @ 2:29 pm | Reply

  8. There should be no debate. Every image of the Crucifixion shows one nail through both feet and one through each hand – 3 nails.

    Comment by Helen Bock — August 21, 2007 @ 2:32 pm | Reply

  9. I don’t think Blogs4Brownbeck is an appropriate place to make jokes PG.

    I think it is. And especially for sarcasm.

    I understand that the Crusaders brought back hundreds of nails allegedly used in the crucifixion, as well as enough pieces of the true Cross to re-forest Lebanon.

    And enough parts of the spear of Longinus to equip a whole company of pikemen with pikes made from them.🙂

    Comment by PG — August 21, 2007 @ 2:55 pm | Reply

  10. Hey, everyone, Yahoo “Dangerous Radicals of the Religious Right” for a sobering read. Bruce

    Comment by Bruce Rockwell — August 21, 2007 @ 2:59 pm | Reply

  11. Just one question: How in the world do you find this stuff?

    It just seems as though there HAS to be more than 24 hours a day in your world. I am beyond impressed.

    Thank you for raising one of Christianity’s finer points. I now know a question to ask people before I’ll allow myself to associate with them: “Three nails, or four?”

    Actually, that question reminds me of Harry Callahan’s famous “I know what you’re thinking” speech. I’ll try it in that context.

    Comment by MikeM — August 21, 2007 @ 3:06 pm | Reply

  12. Are you sure it wasn’t FIVE? That’s what Jerry Falwell told me last year. But then he fell sick shortly after. Strange.

    Comment by ninjatales — August 21, 2007 @ 7:59 pm | Reply

  13. Betrayal in Christianity is a hidden factor that determine our steps.US is big country with black,white or Arab,Chinese,etc.Judas betrayed her teacher to bereave some money which a pay of Romanian.We can forget all the saddest outcry of Jesus because of a new emerged problem.The history has been written by the Crusade.We are in a race to choose who will become a winner.

    Comment by Karta Laksana — August 21, 2007 @ 9:21 pm | Reply

  14. “Explain please how more than three nails would constitute ‘polygamy’ – is there a second definition of that word that I am unaware of?”

    It would imply more than a Trinity.

    “Funny how the Founding Fathers explicitely stated that the USA are NO christian country. Evidence? Look at the constitution. Look at the Treaty of Tripoli.”

    Those were just things we said to put the Arabs off their guard, so we could clobber them later when they least expected it. And it’s worked, too.

    “I understand that the Crusaders brought back hundreds of nails allegedly used in the crucifixion, as well as enough pieces of the true Cross to re-forest Lebanon.”

    All but three of those nails are fakes, obviously.

    Comment by Sisyphus — August 22, 2007 @ 6:09 am | Reply

  15. It would imply more than a Trinity.

    Only if you want. The holy trinity is described in the bible in a rather detailed fashion. Only someone who rejects it anyway would use “jesus was cruxified with 4 nail” as an excuse.

    Those were just things we said to put the Arabs off their guard, so we could clobber them later when they least expected it. And it’s worked, too.

    Yeah, right. And all those personal letters of the founding fathers (which were mostly deists, no christians anyway!) are all part of the maskirovka, right! You make me laugh. Fact is, separation of religion and government exists. Fact is, right to choose your religion freely exists. Fact is, the USA have never officialy declared themselves to be a christian country. They have done the opposite.

    If you don´t like it, leave it.

    Comment by PG — August 22, 2007 @ 6:41 am | Reply

  16. You really nailed this issue!

    Comment by dadaclu — August 22, 2007 @ 11:24 am | Reply

  17. “All but three of those nails are fakes, obviously.”

    And you, Sisyphus, have proof of this claim, obviously. Care to share with the group?

    Comment by Miles Bennett Dyson — August 22, 2007 @ 2:36 pm | Reply

  18. “Our Savior was not a pincushion or a porcupine, PG.”

    True, but for the supposed “Son of God” a tad slow on the uptake… (surely his Dad would’ve known what was going to happen, being all-seeing etc.) or maybe he wanted to commit suicide? Makes the whole “Messiah” plot more believable…

    Comment by Miles Bennett Dyson — August 22, 2007 @ 2:42 pm | Reply

  19. Vote BROWNBACK and you wont have to worry about your country anymore…becasue you wont have it!!
    Your vote for BROWNBACK WILL HOWEVER make tens of millions of Illegal Aliens very happy, as you idiots give away your childrens futures to a greasy AMNESTY BACKER, who would have bent you over a card table and given it to you good, importing millions and giving amnesty to tens of millions to ensure your middle class salary will never inconvienience his global business lobbyists with cash.

    Comment by freedom is not free — August 22, 2007 @ 4:37 pm | Reply

  20. Okay, so you disagree with the Objective Ministries folks about triclavianism, but where do you come down on their claims of dinosaurs living contemporaneously with humans and even still being alive in the present day?

    Comment by Ailurophobic Tomcat — August 22, 2007 @ 6:33 pm | Reply

  21. I don’t think Blogs4Brownbeck is an appropriate place to make jokes PG.

    Really? I come here for the yucks! Y’all are hilarious! Not intentionally, but that does not detract from the sheer glee I get laughing at you foam-flecked loons!

    Comment by No Name for Wingnuts — August 23, 2007 @ 9:47 am | Reply

  22. Okay, so you disagree with the Objective Ministries folks about triclavianism, but where do you come down on their claims of dinosaurs living contemporaneously with humans and even still being alive in the present day?

    God drowned all the dinosaurs during The Flood. Satan had turned the dinosaurs gay so they would rape and kill humans Since the humans would be unable to repent of having gay sex before the dinosaur killed them Jesus would sadly have to damn these people to Hell and Satan would gain more souls. Since God is merciful He sent the flood clean the mess up.

    Comment by BJ Tabor — August 23, 2007 @ 3:41 pm | Reply

  23. It’s things like this that give Christians a bad name. This entire blog I mean. I have never been so appalled in my life. I’m really quite speechless but I just wanted to let you know that I am very disappointed in your close-mindedness and unforgiving “Christian” nature. Despicable. I don’t believe in putting the fear of God in people, I believe in spreading the love of God. And flutes being satanic? Come on… really? That is just flat out ridiculous.

    Comment by Jenn — August 24, 2007 @ 1:01 am | Reply

  24. “It’s things like this that give Christians a bad name. This entire blog I mean. I have never been so appalled in my life. I’m really quite speechless but I just wanted to let you know that I am very disappointed in your close-mindedness and unforgiving “Christian” nature. Despicable. I don’t believe in putting the fear of God in people, I believe in spreading the love of God. And flutes being satanic? Come on… really? That is just flat out ridiculous.”

    Why do you hate the Bible, Jenn?

    Comment by Sisyphus — August 24, 2007 @ 5:13 am | Reply

  25. And flutes being satanic? Come on… really? That is just flat out ridiculous.

    Giving a flute to a young, innocent girl because when she plays it she is mimicking oral sex is ridiculous and sick Jenn.

    Comment by BJ Tabor — August 24, 2007 @ 9:26 am | Reply

  26. The pictures I’ve seen all had three nails in them. I’m not sure I’d be willing to have a real argument about this, but it’s an interesting issue.

    Thanks for this post.

    Comment by John Galt — August 24, 2007 @ 9:50 pm | Reply

  27. You’re welcome, John. It is an important issue, though. The fate of our national Christianity depends on it.

    Comment by Sisyphus — August 25, 2007 @ 11:16 am | Reply

  28. “God drowned all the dinosaurs during The Flood. Satan had turned the dinosaurs gay so they would rape and kill humans Since the humans would be unable to repent of having gay sex before the dinosaur killed them Jesus would sadly have to damn these people to Hell and Satan would gain more souls. Since God is merciful He sent the flood clean the mess up.”
    I shouldn’t have been eating when I read this, I almost choked from laughter. Bravo, I think that this may well be the funniest comment on this website.

    That being said, I thought that everyone knew that a gypsy stole the fourth nail, and that is why gypsies had the permission of God to steal and why Jesus only had three nails. Shows what people know.

    Comment by Armand Jean du Plessis de Richelieu — November 18, 2007 @ 5:42 pm | Reply

  29. A lot of comments on this site are funny, but does the hatred not worry/fighten anyone a wee bit also?

    Comment 22 had me in *fits* I was laughing soo hard.

    Well, maybe that’s a bit of an overstatement. I nearly made a noise, but all that happend was a smile tbh😦

    Comment by Austin — December 11, 2007 @ 5:59 pm | Reply


RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

%d bloggers like this: