Blogs 4 Brownback

August 20, 2007

Homosexuals Are Trying to Kill Me!

HomoHello, sorry for the extended absence. I will try to write more about it in a few days, but this week has been a nightmare. In the brief time available to me, I’ll tell you what’s happened- homosexuals have been trying to kill me. They got Jack, now they’re coming for me.

It all started last Tuesday morning, when Jack and I were on our way to work. Jack suggested we stop by the package store first, so that he could get a pack of cigarettes. I obliged him, and he came out with a pack of cigarettes and a case of beer. He proceeded to drink three of them as we continued our drive. At around this point, a Volvo containing two men drove past us. The back of the Volvo had a sticker on it in the shape of a triangle, colored like a rainbow. It also had a fish with legs and the word “Darwin” inscribed into it. Jack and I recognized those stickers as indicating homosexuals and Darwinists.

Jack reacted as any patriotic American would. He threw a beer can at the car, and shouted words to the effect of, “God hates fags!” At that point, things got ugly. The men in the other car slowed down so that they were parallel with us, and the passenger stuck his middle finger out at us. He lewdly kissed his finger. Then the driver made a throat-cutting motion with his finger, and they drove off.

I would’ve thought nothing of it, except that later that day I saw two more cars, each with Darwinist or Sodomite propoganda stickers affixed to the rear bumper area. Each car contained men who looked at Jack and I with decidedly hostile looks. Jack’s not the sort of man to take that kind of thing lying down, though. He’d also had a few drinks by this point, and demanded that I let him “take care of some business.” I dropped him off at a tavern where a few of the men had stopped, and went on my way to work.

When I came back a few hours later, I decided to check on Jack. I went into the bar. It was full of men, some of them dressed very indecently. I’ve haven’t been in a bar in many years, though, not since I was a Democrat. I don’t remember what they’re like, but I think I remember more women dressed like prostitutes than this bar had. In fact, I don’t think I saw a woman in the entire place. Anyway, when I asked the bartender where Jack went, and described what Jack looked like, he remembered Jack instantly. He said that I’d just missed him, that he’d been in there drinking for hours with the two men we’d seen on the road. He said that Jack had left with them.

When I told him those men were homosexual, he laughed at me. Apparently, everyone in the bar is a homosexual! I was surrounded by Sodomites. I prayed aloud to Jesus, and ran out of there. From the way everyone was looking at me, I barely escaped with my life. They’ve killed Jack, I’m sure of that. I haven’t seen him at work since that night. I haven’t had much time to go online, and I haven’t been sleeping much. I’m afraid to leave the house. I know the Sodomites know where I live now, and I know one of these nights they’ll come for me. My wife and I have all our guns oiled, loaded, and ready, but that doesn’t do you much good if you’re napping when the time comes, does it?

One thing’s for sure- those homosexuals won’t get me without a fight. Jack was drunk, otherwise he’d have taken some of them out with him. I don’t drink, so I’m twice the man Jack was.

This won’t affect my work for Sam Brownback, but it’s been a harrowing experience. Now I hate the liberals more than ever, for making it so difficult to carry a concealed weapon in this country. When the Sodomites make a move on me, a concealed handgun might be my only chance, yet that’s precisely the thing the treefrogs want to deny me. I think they want Sodomites to snatch up innocent citizens. I think that’s the real reason those laws are on the books.

Anyway, I’ll keep my powder dry and my eyes peeled for now. You won’t catch Sisyphus napping. If I’m slow in responding to people, it means I’m either at work or I’m on guard duty, or I’m sleeping and my wife is manning the perimeter. This is war.

48 Comments »

  1. This is horrible Sisyphus. Your friend abducted by Sodomites and your life threatened. I will pray for you. Praise Jesus He didn’t let the Democrats take our guns away or you and your family would be defenseless against these gays.

    Comment by BJ Tabor — August 20, 2007 @ 2:20 pm | Reply

  2. Something tells me that Jack will show up agains, sooner or later, perhaps sufferring from a massive hangover.

    This won’t affect my work for Sam Brownback, but it’s been a harrowing experience. Now I hate the liberals more than ever, for making it so difficult to carry a concealed weapon in this country. When the Sodomites make a move on me, a concealed handgun might be my only chance, yet that’s precisely the thing the treefrogs want to deny me. I think they want Sodomites to snatch up innocent citizens. I think that’s the real reason those laws are on the books.

    1. Makes no sense. The rules would apply to them, too. So they weren´t protected against “christian fundie nut-jobs” getting them, right?
    2. Try some CQC, Karate or other self-defense techniques. The courses aren´t that expensive and punching someone to the ground with minimal movement leaves a far meaner statement to anyone trying to attack you than holding a gun in his face. It shows him that you´re a tough guy that doesn´t need a weapon to handle him.

    And again, I think those guys just made peace with Jack, drank a few pints and most likely they have driven him home because he was too drunk. He´ll likely tell you the whole thing soon. Panicking yourself isn´t really necessary here.

    Comment by PG — August 20, 2007 @ 2:46 pm | Reply

  3. What a horrific story. I was wondering when you were going to go public with this. I hope you filed a police report and I do hope Jack’s all right.

    Comment by Psycheout — August 20, 2007 @ 2:47 pm | Reply

  4. Learning some barefist fighting techniques would probably be a good idea, PG, but you don’t want to get a sodomite’s saliva or blood on you or you’ll get the AIDS.

    Comment by Psycheout — August 20, 2007 @ 2:49 pm | Reply

  5. Learning some barefist fighting techniques would probably be a good idea, PG, but you don’t want to get a sodomite’s saliva or blood on you or you’ll get the AIDS.

    As long as you keep it away from your face and wash yourself afterwards, the chance to infect yourself are basically non-existent. Especially as not every homosexual worldwide is infected.
    And some techniques enable you to put that guy down without bloodspilling. (It might break some bones, though. :)) Take CQC, for example. That technique was developed by the police of Hongkong to disarm and disable opponents in almost any situation, including hostage situations or when the guy´s pointing the barrel at you. And if it´s executed the right way, the perp will be delivered to court without as muc as a few bruises, no blood being spilt.

    Comment by PG — August 20, 2007 @ 2:59 pm | Reply

  6. Are these poofs giving you advice? Hand to hand is only for when the ammo runs out. Small arms are good – 155 artillery is better!

    Comment by Sgt. Rock — August 20, 2007 @ 3:25 pm | Reply

  7. Dear me! I hope these sodomites didn’t get Jack excessively drunk and USE him.

    Comment by Ann O'Maly — August 20, 2007 @ 3:28 pm | Reply

  8. I pray to Jesus to protect you. May He bind those homosexuals in the snares of their own sins.

    Comment by Helen Bock — August 20, 2007 @ 3:31 pm | Reply

  9. Are these poofs giving you advice? Hand to hand is only for when the ammo runs out. Small arms are good – 155 artillery is better!

    We´re talking about civilians here. The thought of a civilians with a 155 arty is something from any soldiers worst nightmares. (I´ve seen the things in action and how complicated using them is. The probability of something going horribly wrong with that stuff in civilian hands are frightening.) Sisi basically complaint that he can´t carry a concealed gun for self-defense, so I tried to give him an alternative.

    Comment by PG — August 20, 2007 @ 3:38 pm | Reply

  10. I’ve seen those things in action too and I believe they are a beautiful way to smite one’s enemies.

    Comment by Sgt. Rock — August 20, 2007 @ 3:48 pm | Reply

  11. As long as you keep it away from your face and wash yourself afterwards, the chance to infect yourself are basically non-existent. Especially as not every homosexual worldwide is infected.
    PG,

    You’re dead wrong on this. It is a critical to avoid all skin contact with Sodomites. Even brief touch of the soft, effeminate flesh of a sodomite can lead to AIDs.

    Frankly I don’t now how you can defend those gays. Didn’t you read that were Sisyphus was eye raped by them. Rape is wrong PG, even when it involves no penetration.

    Comment by BJ Tabor — August 20, 2007 @ 3:50 pm | Reply

  12. You’re dead wrong on this. It is a critical to avoid all skin contact with Sodomites. Even brief touch of the soft, effeminate flesh of a sodomite can lead to AIDs.

    Frankly I don’t now how you can defend those gays. Didn’t you read that were Sisyphus was eye raped by them. Rape is wrong PG, even when it involves no penetration.

    1. Go learn some biology. AIDS is a virus. One that can´t even be airborne. The only way to get infected are body fluids (sperm or blood) of someone who´s infected entering the body (onprotected sex and infected blood conserves. These are basically the only ways to infect yourself. Well, other accidents, too. But they´re like 1% off all infections and mostly medical personal accidentially hitting themselves with a used syringe.) It can´t even penetrate the skin itself as long as you don´t have (both) open wounds.

    2. And frankly, rape does involve at least physical contact. That´s at least what every national law book in the entire western hemisphere says. The best Sisi could sue those guys in the car for would be sexual harassment. And even there he´d not have much of a chance before a court.

    Comment by PG — August 20, 2007 @ 4:40 pm | Reply

  13. Sisy, Sisy, Sisy…

    Jack’s partying. When he gets back, you’ll have to call him “Happy Jack.”

    You are so innocent. That’s what we like about you.

    Comment by MikeM — August 20, 2007 @ 5:08 pm | Reply

  14. “Eye raped”?

    Comment by Linus — August 20, 2007 @ 7:50 pm | Reply

  15. I can see why the the liberal sodomites would want to attack you. You and Mrs. Gaines-Crockett are the biggest threats to their agenda for America.

    Comment by Maura Ghee — August 20, 2007 @ 8:04 pm | Reply

  16. Just when I was about to take you guys seriously. If Mike Huckabee is at the back of this, I’m going to laugh myself to death (laughing AT myself). I’ve already laughed myself half-dead reading this.

    It’s horrible to contemplate, but if the Brownback campaign ceases and B4B ends, what will I do for my daily chuckles? Please don’t leave me stranded.

    Comment by mposey — August 20, 2007 @ 8:09 pm | Reply

  17. I’m not sure about the chuckles, mposey. But B4B is here for the long haul. So do not worry. We shall keep speaking “truth to power.”

    Comment by Psycheout — August 20, 2007 @ 9:06 pm | Reply

  18. This is horrible news, Sisyphus! I hope Jack is with God in Heaven now. That would be far better than if he’s imprisoned in some Sodomist Saddamist’s dungeon right now, being forced to commit unnatural acts against his will. I pray to Jesus that is not the case.

    If my advice had been taken and the homosexuals had all been killed, none of this would have happened.

    Comment by Marcia P. — August 20, 2007 @ 9:24 pm | Reply

  19. Let this be a lesson: don’t let your kids watch Sodomy Street on pbs. Let them read Christian comics instead.

    Comment by Psycheout — August 20, 2007 @ 9:48 pm | Reply

  20. Ahhhh yes. Now I understand whats going on here. I see someone at the front door has passed around the white robes and hoods to the participants of this thread and most of it’s bloggers. Whose yard is next for the cross burnings and lynchings?

    People who claim to be Christains but support war and spread hate rhetoric are Charlatans who will are already damned to Hell beyond any redemption. If you believe otherwise you’re living a lie.

    Comment by spacebrother — August 20, 2007 @ 10:08 pm | Reply

  21. Friend, it may be that the homosexual were trying to “queer-up” your friend. They may be trying to draw your friend into their godless lifestyle.

    You owe it to your friend to get him booked into an Ex-Gay conversion. He’s going to need to get back to the Bible in order to renounce this awful temptation.

    Comment by Tristan J. Shuddery — August 21, 2007 @ 4:15 am | Reply

  22. Am I the only one concerned about how the banning of Tyler Durden relatively coincided with these stories about your adventures with a guy named Jack?

    I’m concerned, Sisyphus, because it sounds like you either have a mental illness or you’ve been watching too many liberal, heathenous movies. Either of these cases makes me wonder whether you’re fit to work in the Brownback movement.

    Comment by Fascinated and Confused — August 21, 2007 @ 8:37 am | Reply

  23. “Ahhhh yes. Now I understand whats going on here. I see someone at the front door has passed around the white robes and hoods to the participants of this thread and most of it’s bloggers. Whose yard is next for the cross burnings and lynchings?”

    If you must have your schizophrenic episodes, is it really necessary to post them on our blog?

    “Friend, it may be that the homosexual were trying to “queer-up” your friend. They may be trying to draw your friend into their godless lifestyle.”

    Oh, I hope not! That would be worse than death itself.

    “You owe it to your friend to get him booked into an Ex-Gay conversion. He’s going to need to get back to the Bible in order to renounce this awful temptation.”

    If I see him again on this Earth, we’re going to have a long talk about all this.

    “I’m concerned, Sisyphus, because it sounds like you either have a mental illness or you’ve been watching too many liberal, heathenous movies. Either of these cases makes me wonder whether you’re fit to work in the Brownback movement.”

    I do my duty to my God and my country, and my future President, Sam Brownback. That is the only crime anyone can accuse me of.

    Comment by Sisyphus — August 21, 2007 @ 9:54 am | Reply

  24. “Eye raped”?

    As when a homosexual leers over your’ body while having filthy, perverted thoughts of having hot and sweaty man on man sex with you. To be stripped and used in public like a common whore, even if it is in the imagination of someone else, is traumatic beyond words.

    We White, Christian, Republican men have suffered from the pain of eye rape silence too long. We are speaking out of this problem and fighting back. We will no longer be the imaginary play things of predatory gays.

    Comment by BJ Tabor — August 21, 2007 @ 10:10 am | Reply

  25. If one of those puffballs eted me I’d blacken his eyes – and not with mascara!

    Comment by Ed Norton — August 21, 2007 @ 10:16 am | Reply

  26. “If you must have your schizophrenic episodes, is it really necessary to post them on our blog?”

    Comment by Sisyphus — August 21, 2007 @ 9:54 am

    With comments like………

    “If my advice had been taken and the homosexuals had all been killed, none of this would have happened.”

    Comment by Marcia P. — August 20, 2007 @ 9:24 pm

    …..and…….

    “….Hand to hand is only for when the ammo runs out. Small arms are good – 155 artillery is better!”

    Comment by Sgt. Rock — August 20, 2007 @ 3:25 pm

    …..and……

    “Learning some barefist fighting techniques would probably be a good idea”,…..

    Comment by Psycheout — August 20, 2007 @ 2:49 pm

    …and most of the other comments on all the blogs here, I’d say the schizofrenia lies with you kool aid drinking b4b charlatans who are going to burn in Hell. You hate Jesus and you hate America. Admit it. Satan already has booked your reservations.

    *waits for white robe and hood wearing b4b extremists to burn crosses and lynch people that don’t share their views*

    b4b kool aid drinkers carry on…..

    Incidently Brownback does’nt have a snowballs chance in Hell of winning. Rudarry Clintiani will be our next president.

    Comment by Spacebrother — August 21, 2007 @ 10:28 am | Reply

  27. It does’nt matter….

    Rudarry Clintiani will be our next president.

    Comment by Spacebrother — August 21, 2007 @ 10:30 am | Reply

  28. Thanks for the ad hominems, Spacebrother!

    Comment by Sisyphus — August 21, 2007 @ 11:15 am | Reply

  29. As when a homosexual leers over your’ body while having filthy, perverted thoughts of having hot and sweaty man on man sex with you. To be stripped and used in public like a common whore, even if it is in the imagination of someone else, is traumatic beyond words.

    We White, Christian, Republican men have suffered from the pain of eye rape silence too long. We are speaking out of this problem and fighting back. We will no longer be the imaginary play things of predatory gays.

    There´s just one problem: Can you read someone´s thoughts 100% accurately? I´ve not heard of anything capable of doing that.
    It´s still as the old lyrics say:

    Die Gedanken sind frei, wer kann sie erraten,
    sie fliegen vorbei wie nächtliche Schatten.
    Kein Mensch kann sie wissen, kein Jäger erschießen
    mit Pulver und Blei: Die Gedanken sind frei!

    (The thoughts are free, who can ever guess them?
    They just fly by like nocturnal shadows.
    No man can know them, no hunter can shoot them,
    with powder and lead: The thoughts are free!)

    And it still isn´t rape in the eyes of the law.

    Comment by PG — August 21, 2007 @ 11:48 am | Reply

  30. There´s just one problem: Can you read someone´s thoughts 100% accurately? I´ve not heard of anything capable of doing that.
    It´s still as the old lyrics say:

    I don’t need to read anyone mind. They are gay to it is imitatively obvious what they are thinking of when they look at me. All those gays are thinking of having is sex with me and me as their passive partner. They dream about three of them grabbing me and pulling my pants down, pushing me down and doing a train on me. You see, they are sick and this must stop!

    And it still isn´t rape in the eyes of the law.

    Well should be, it is rape in the eyes of Jesus! Remember He said who ever thinks of coveting his neighbors wife in his mind is the same thing as doing it for real. This is the same thing.

    Comment by BJ Tabor — August 21, 2007 @ 2:14 pm | Reply

  31. I don’t need to read anyone mind. They are gay to it is imitatively obvious what they are thinking of when they look at me. All those gays are thinking of having is sex with me and me as their passive partner. They dream about three of them grabbing me and pulling my pants down, pushing me down and doing a train on me. You see, they are sick and this must stop!

    And that´s simply your asumption. You´d have to be gay yourself to really know. No wait, even then people are individuals and won´t all react in the same way. Your whole statement here is a gross and simply moronic generalisation.
    I see that you´re quite paranoid and nothing else.

    Well should be, it is rape in the eyes of Jesus! Remember He said who ever thinks of coveting his neighbors wife in his mind is the same thing as doing it for real. This is the same thing.

    There´s just a simple problem: There is no evidence whatsoever. You´d have to be able to read minds or something like that to get real evidence.

    Comment by PG — August 21, 2007 @ 2:46 pm | Reply

  32. PG, I may start a page on RationalWiki specifically for poking holes in the “logic” of these fundies. You can read more here.

    Comment by AutoFire — August 21, 2007 @ 5:05 pm | Reply

  33. I think RationalWIki should make an article about that “Eye-Rape”. WIll be hilarious.🙂

    Comment by PG — August 21, 2007 @ 6:56 pm | Reply

  34. When I see how these sodomites are attacking Baptists for Brownback en masse I have no doubt you are in danger.

    Comment by Helen Bock — August 21, 2007 @ 8:28 pm | Reply

  35. Did you ever think that maybe Jack is out gaying it up with the other sodomites? Maybe it only comes out when he drinks. You’ve been housing a sodomite. Brings your sexuality into question.

    Comment by Jack's alter ego — August 21, 2007 @ 8:52 pm | Reply

  36. There’s no such thing as rape, moonbats. Rape is an unplanned sexual event. The term “rape” is a pejorative used to help abortionist propogandists spew their lies on the more gullible members of the populace.

    Wise up, people.

    Comment by Sisyphus — August 22, 2007 @ 6:21 am | Reply

  37. You should be more careful Sisyphus: We homosexuals can smell gay-panic from a mile away.

    I actually had the privilege of meeting Jack at our last Sodomite roundtable discussion group and social mixer. Jack has become quite the nancy-boy. In fact he’s one of our most promising recruits for this quarter- everyone has been very impressed! A group of us are taking him out next week to get him a Prince Albert piercing and a tattoo of a Care Bear on his ass.

    BTW- the recon team monitoring your house noticed that on the 21st between 7:10 and 7:25pm, you neglected to guard the south perimeter of the home for a full 15 minutes! That’s more than enough time for us to kidnap your wife and brainwash her into becoming a pagan feminist lesbian atheist.
    🙂

    Comment by SuperViolet — August 22, 2007 @ 1:41 pm | Reply

  38. “Now I hate the liberals more than ever, for making it so difficult to carry a concealed weapon in this country. When the Sodomites make a move on me, a concealed handgun might be my only chance, yet that’s precisely the thing the treefrogs want to deny me. I think they want Sodomites to snatch up innocent citizens. I think that’s the real reason those laws are on the books.”

    But when you think about it, carrying a concealed weapon may cause the sodomites to mistake the sight of the bulge for an indication that you’re happy to see them. Then just try to get rid of them.

    Comment by qwerty — August 23, 2007 @ 9:50 am | Reply

  39. You lie, Super-Violet!

    “But when you think about it, carrying a concealed weapon may cause the sodomites to mistake the sight of the bulge for an indication that you’re happy to see them. Then just try to get rid of them.”

    They’ll have to pry my gun from my cold, dead hands, qwerty. I don’t care what they think it is. This’ll make the deviants easier to spot.

    Comment by Sisyphus — August 23, 2007 @ 11:50 am | Reply

  40. You and your friend are quite some angry fascists as far as I can conclude.

    Comment by Moxom — September 7, 2007 @ 5:30 pm | Reply

  41. drinking too much beer and wrong idealisms creates imbeciles

    Comment by Moxom — September 7, 2007 @ 5:32 pm | Reply

  42. Sissy-Puss loves the cock

    Comment by Moxom — September 8, 2007 @ 6:00 am | Reply

  43. Nor is it to be thought, that man is either the oldest or the last of earth’s masters, or that the common bulk of life and substance walks alone. The Old Ones were, the Old Ones are, and the Old Ones shall be. Not in the spaces we know, but between them, They walk serene and primal, undimensioned and to us unseen. Yog-Sothoth knows the gate. Yog-Sothoth is the gate. Yog-Sothoth is the key and guardian of the gate. Past, present, future, all are one in Yog-Sothoth. He knows where the Old Ones broke through of old, and where They shall break through again. He knows where They have trod earth’s fields, and where They still tread them, and why no one can behold Them as They tread. By Their smell can men sometimes know Them near, but of Their semblance can no man know, saving only in the features of those They have begotten on mankind; and of those are there many sorts, differing in likeness from man’s truest eidolon to that shape without sight or substance which is Them. They walk unseen and foul in lonely places where the Words have been spoken and the Rites howled through at their Seasons. The wind gibbers with Their voices, and the earth mutters with Their consciousness. They bend the forest and crush the city, yet may not forest or city behold the hand that smites. Kadath in the cold waste hath known Them, and what man knows Kadath? The ice desert of the South and the sunken isles of Ocean hold stones whereon Their seal is engraven, but who hath seen the deep frozen city or the sealed tower long garlanded with seaweed and barnacles? Great Cthulhu is Their cousin, yet can he spy Them only dimly. Iä! Shub-Niggurath! As a foulness shall ye know Them. Their hand is at your throats, yet ye see Them not; and Their habitation is even one with your guarded threshold. Yog-Sothoth is the key to the gate, whereby the spheres meet. Man rules now where They ruled once; They shall soon rule where man rules now. After summer is winter, and after winter summer. They wait patient and potent, for here shall They rule again.

    Comment by Cthulhu — September 8, 2007 @ 6:04 am | Reply

  44. Psychout, Sisyphus and BJ are gay pedophiles. Larry Craig and Mark Foley would be proud.

    [Ed Note: You add nothing to the discussion, my friend. Try harder to have something substantial to say. You’re boring our readers to death.]

    Comment by Spacebrother — October 17, 2007 @ 1:22 pm | Reply

  45. Moxom and Spacebrother are trolls. Cthulhu is kind of interesting, though. I like his writing.

    Comment by Sisyphus — October 17, 2007 @ 2:26 pm | Reply

  46. Cthulhu is a charactor from HP Lovecraft as is what he posted. I suspect nobody here is familiar or intellectually capable of knowing about Lovecraft.

    Comment by Spacebrother — October 17, 2007 @ 2:43 pm | Reply

  47. hay the writers of this blog are just insaine and needs to be locked away for the sake of mankind and our children I would never let my kid on this sight that you say is so family friendly (bull poo) you ppl who are this wrong you all need to be poot away your god is supposed to teach love and peace amungst men no matter what they belive you guys are morons

    [Ed Note: It’s potty mouths like you who try (and fail) to make this site not family friendly. Why don’t you clean up your act, tree worshipper?]

    Comment by THE DRUID — November 17, 2007 @ 11:28 pm | Reply

  48. and your story is obviously a lie you stupid ameeba

    [Ed Note: Don’t call others stupid unless you can spell, amoeba.]

    Comment by THE DRUID — November 17, 2007 @ 11:30 pm | Reply


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