Blogs 4 Brownback

August 17, 2007

Joke of the Day

Filed under: Humor — Psycheout @ 1:13 pm

Reagan Laughing“Republicans believe every day is the Fourth of July, but the Democrats believe every day is April 15.”

— Ronald Reagan

12 Comments »

  1. SOmehow I don´t get it…

    Comment by PG — August 17, 2007 @ 1:52 pm | Reply

  2. …taxes??

    Comment by chambra — August 17, 2007 @ 1:57 pm | Reply

  3. Federal taxes are due on April 15 every year in the United States.

    Translation: Republicans love America, Democrats love to tax and spend.

    Comment by Psycheout — August 17, 2007 @ 2:06 pm | Reply

  4. ANd what´s funny about it? Seems like a typical smear. And not even a good one.

    Comment by PG — August 17, 2007 @ 2:29 pm | Reply

  5. Since PG was not amused, here’s a bonus joke:

    Hitler: My dog has no nose.
    Stalin: How does he smell?
    Hitler: Awful.

    Comment by Psycheout — August 17, 2007 @ 3:05 pm | Reply

  6. Here’s one:

    Q. You are in a room with a conservative, a liberal and a libertarian. Your gun only has one bullet. What do you do?

    A. Shoot the liberal first and then club the libertarian to death with your gun!

    LOL!

    Comment by Billy Rubin — August 17, 2007 @ 3:17 pm | Reply

  7. Ahahaha. I´ve seen funerals that were funnier than those jokes.

    That´s a joke (although it really happened!):

    U.S.S. Abraham Lincoln and the lighthouse

    This is based on an actual radio conversation between a U.S. Navy
    aircraft carrier (U.S.S. Abraham Lincoln) and Canadian authorities
    off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. (The radio
    conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on
    10/10/95 authorized by the Freedom of Information Act.)

    Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South to
    avoid collision.

    Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the
    North to avoid a collision.

    Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15
    degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

    Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again,
    divert YOUR course.

    Canadians: No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.

    Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND
    LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES’ ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE
    ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS
    SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES
    NORTH–I SAY AGAIN, THAT’S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH–OR
    COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.

    Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

    Or that one:

    An Air Force cargo plane was preparing for departure from Thule Air Base in Greenland. They were waiting for the truck to arrive to pump out the aircraft’s sewage holding tank.

    The Aircraft Commander was in a hurry, the truck was late in arriving, and the Airman performing the job was extremely slow in getting the tank pumped out.

    When the commander berated the Airman for his slowness and promised punishment, the Airman responded: “Sir, I have no stripes, it is 20 below zero, I’m stationed in Greenland, and I am pumping sewage out of airplanes. Just what are you going to do to punish me?”

    Comment by PG — August 17, 2007 @ 4:29 pm | Reply

  8. King George W. Bush thinks every day is Bastille Day. Why else would he turn American spy satellites on American citizens? And that’s no joke.

    Comment by ***UNChristian Word Removed*** — August 17, 2007 @ 6:14 pm | Reply

  9. Maybe that’s why there are so many friendly-fire deaths in Iraq. “We gots ourselves a bogey, boyz! Splash it with yer Stinger! Oh wait, that was the ambulance helicopter.”

    Or “smart” bombs that decide to blow away aspirin factories instead of the suspected terrorist stronghold half a mile away.

    Seems like the army’s greatest enemy is its own stupid troops shooting at each other.

    Comment by Adam Nelson — August 17, 2007 @ 10:47 pm | Reply

  10. Aye, Adam. The US Armed Forces were always a bit hampered by their own little “ooops” moments. You know, my grandfather served in WWII as an infantryman. One day in Italy, his unit was about to be overrun by US infantry when suddenly their artillery began giving the assault some covering fire. All the 5 salvos fell ~300 meters short, directly on their heads. Or when those that “combined assault” of tanks and infantry hit them. The tanks, alone, just raced through the line (no at weaponry present) and vanished. The infantry came 15 minutes later (!) and got subsequently shot up.

    To qoute my grandpa: “I´ve never seen anyone doing such stupid things on a battlefield except the Amis. The brits did it better, the french did it better, the canadians did it much better and hey, even the russians did it better.”

    Comment by PG — August 18, 2007 @ 5:31 am | Reply

  11. “Hitler: My dog has no nose.
    Stalin: How does he smell?
    Hitler: Awful.”

    What is that from? I’ve heard that before.

    Comment by neutronnate — August 18, 2007 @ 10:41 am | Reply

  12. What is that from? I’ve heard that before.

    Were you in my Bible study course? You must’ve been that strange looking guy with the eyepatch and the pegleg. That parrot on your shoulder kept saying “pieces of eight.”

    Comment by Psycheout — August 18, 2007 @ 11:19 am | Reply


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