Woodwinds are the Instruments of Satan

Anyone who has had the misfortune of having certain friends show them a scene or two from the awful “American Pie” movies knows that musical instruments can be used in Satanic ways. Corroboration for this statement can be found in jazz music. But more importantly, it can also be found in Scripture.

Woe unto those who rise early in the morning, that they may pursue strong drink, who tarry late into the night till wine inflames them! They have lyre and harp, tambourine and flute and wine at their feasts, but they do not regard the deeds of the Lord, neither do they consider the operation of His hands [in mercy and in judgment]. (Isaiah 5:11-12)

3Therefore My heart moans and sighs for Moab like flutes, and My heart moans and sighs like flutes for the men of Kir-heres (Kir-hareseth); therefore [the remnant of] the abundant riches they gained has perished.(Jeremiah 48:36; clearly, the penchant of the Moabites for flute music is a major cause of their undoing)

And when Jesus came to the ruler’s house and saw the flute players and the crowd making an uproar and din, He said, Go away. (Matthew 9:23-24)

If even inanimate musical instruments, such as the flute or the harp, do not give distinct notes, how will anyone [listening] know or understand what is played? (1 Corinthians 14:7)

2And the sound of harpists and minstrels and flute players and trumpeters shall never again be heard in you, and no skilled artisan of any craft shall ever again be found in you, and the sound of the millstone shall never again be heard in you (Revelations 18:22)

Obviously, God does not want us listening to flute music. Flutes and other woodwinds are horrible instruments. They entice us to sin with their wistful tunes, but their shape and manner of play is clearly phallic and strongly implies fellatio or other unnatural acts of Sodomy.

In opera music, woodwinds tend to introduce pastoral, rustic scenes- the perfect setting for rural fornication, and also a metaphor for the expulsion from Heaven and the introduction to Outer Darkness. Clearly, Satan operates through the flute.

One would naturally hope that President Brownback will take concrete steps to keep woodwind instruments out of our public high schools. Warning labels should also be attached to music containing saxophones, flutes, or other instruments that require the touching of the lips. However, the moonbat music industry will undoubtedly combat these measures. We must all gird ourselves for the greatest moral struggle of the Brownback Administration.