I’ve had it up to here with that “woman” and her abject, brazen harlotry. Here is her latest outrage:
In an interview with ladies fashion magazine Elle, conducted before Lindsay Lohan was arrested on her first suspected DUI charge, the actress told the magazine she would never drive drunk.
Lohan made the statement in the revealing cover story, due to hit stands Aug. 14, after being asked about the paparazzi that follow her everywhere. She segued into the topic of drunk driving after first answering whether she could see her way to her car, through the dozens of flashbulbs going off as she left various locales.
Whining, simpering harlot. Women younger than her are getting their limbs blown off fighting for American freedom in Iraq, and she’s whining about an endless stream of toadies witnessing her orgies and depravities?
Guantanamo is too good for a creature like this. I think we should trade her to the Taliban for some of those South Korean hostages. They’d know how to teach a wayward strumpet like this her place.
“It’s scary. I can’t (see with all the light bulbs flashing). And they’re looking for me to, like, trip, so they can be like, ‘Oh, Lindsay’s wasted and driving drunk.’ And that’s not it. I wouldn’t violate … I’m much more responsible than that. I would not do that,” she told Elle. “You know what the worst thing is? They’re making money off it! It’s like, why don’t the celebrities make money (from the photos)? It’s not right, the fact that someone is making money off you enjoying your time.”
You know what? I agree with her. Photographers should be imprisoned for photographing this trullish harlotry. Lindsay Lohan should be imprisoned for public drunkenness, for obscenity, for failing to strap her chest down, for corrupting her nation’s moral fiber with overt and degenerate displays of Godless hedonism and prostitution, and for gross ingratitude that imprisonment is the worst punishment she faces. A civilized society would have flogged her in the public square by now. And then buried her up to her neck in an anthill. If Guantanamo is the worst our current legal system will allow us to impose on this Siren of Satanism, I will concede it- reluctantly. I still think her public execution would serve our nation better, but perhaps a few years in Guantanamo will do more for her spiritual well-being. Perhaps it will show her the error of her ways.
I think decent Americans agree with me, and by now even most moonbats wouldn’t mind sending this prostitute to Guantanamo with the other anti-American refuse. But a few will likely take issue with this solution. Those few are morons and anti-American refuse themselves. Their foolishness is demonstrable in many ways, but to begin with, they haven’t even begun to consider the benefits of sending Lohan to Gitmo. No photographers, which will silence her wicked, catlike tongue. More importantly, she could serve a valuable role in extracting information from the other inmates. Perhaps the tale of her redemption from flagrant harlotry into Christian virtue could even tempt them out of Islamism and into Christianity. On the other hand, should she fail to embrace the Lord in prison, the Islamists will serve a valuable role in controlling Miss Lohan. By forcing her to don a burqa, they will spare us all the sight of her for several years to come.
The plan is not without its drawbacks- Lohan will eventually leave Guantanamo, for example. Still, I think our nation deserves a long-term solution to a national moral epidemic. Sending Lindsay Lohan to Guantanamo provides us with such a solution.
Regardless of what is done with her, the first CNN reporter who puts her face on television during her trial should be cudgeled.
UPDATE: Imprison them both in somewhere worse than a country-club prison like Guantanamo. Doesn’t America still have gladiator prisons somewhere that we could use to house these sorts of deviants?
Update 2 (by Psycheout): Ok, pervs I’m really sick of this.
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Pervs, be gone!