Blogs 4 Brownback

July 27, 2007

Write to Your Congressmen!

Filed under: Breaking News,Defending America,Science — Sisyphus @ 10:09 am

DHMOAn observant reader has sent me an email, warning us all of the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide. I have never heard of this substance before, but it sounds quite horrendous:

Dear Mr. Sisyphus,

I am a proud Brownback supporter and I believe that we need to take America back from the Godless Pinko Commies in Washington. Together with the Mainstream Media, they have tried to strengthen their sinister grip on our American heartland.

I’m writing to inform you about a danger that the Scientific Moonbats are not telling us about: The dangers of Dihydrogen Monoxide.

The following are some facts you should know

I hope when Senator Brownback is elected to office he will ban this Liberal taint on our great nation.

Yours,
Henry Theodore Smith

What is Dihydrogen Monoxide?

Dihydrogen Monoxide (DHMO) is a colorless and odorless chemical compound, also referred to by some as Dihydrogen Oxide, Hydrogen Hydroxide, Hydronium Hydroxide, or simply Hydric acid. Its basis is the unstable radical Hydroxide, the components of which are found in a number of caustic, explosive and poisonous compounds such as Sulfuric Acid, Nitroglycerine and Ethyl Alcohol.

What are some of the dangers associated with DHMO?

Each year, Dihydrogen Monoxide is a known causative component in many thousands of deaths and is a major contributor to millions upon millions of dollars in damage to property and the environment. Some of the known perils of Dihydrogen Monoxide are:

Death due to accidental inhalation of DHMO, even in small quantities.

Prolonged exposure to solid DHMO causes severe tissue damage.

Excessive ingestion produces a number of unpleasant though not typically life-threatening side-effects.

DHMO is a major component of acid rain.

Gaseous DHMO can cause severe burns.

Contributes to soil erosion.

Leads to corrosion and oxidation of many metals.

Contamination of electrical systems often causes short-circuits.

Exposure decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes.

Found in biopsies of pre-cancerous tumors and lesions.

Given to vicious dogs involved in recent deadly attacks.

Often associated with killer cyclones in the U.S. Midwest and elsewhere, and in hurricanes including deadly storms in Florida, New Orleans and other areas of the southeastern U.S.

Thermal variations in DHMO are a suspected contributor to the El Nino weather effect.

What are some uses of Dihydrogen Monoxide?

Despite the known dangers of DHMO, it continues to be used daily by industry, government, and even in private homes across the U.S. and worldwide! Some of the well-known uses of Dihydrogen Monoxide are:

as an industrial solvent and coolant,

in nuclear power plants,

by the U.S. Navy in the propulsion systems of some older vessels,

by elite athletes to improve performance,

in the production of Styrofoam,

in biological and chemical weapons manufacture,

in the development of genetically engineering crops and animals,

as a spray-on fire suppressant and retardant,

in so-called “family planning” or “reproductive health” clinics,

as a major ingredient in many home-brewed bombs,

as a byproduct of hydrocarbon combustion in furnaces and air conditioning compressor operation,

in cult rituals,

by the Church of Scientology on their members and their members’ families (although surprisingly, many members recently have contacted DHMO.org to vehemently deny such use),

by both the KKK and the NAACP during rallies and marches,

by members of Congress who are under investigation for financial corruption and inappropriate IM behavior,

by the clientele at a number of bath houses in New York City and San Francisco,

historically, in Hitler’s death camps in Nazi Germany, and in prisons in Turkey, Serbia, Croatia, Libya, Iraq and Iran,

in World War II prison camps in Japan, and in prisons in China, for various forms of torture,

during many recent religious and ethnic wars in the Middle East,

by many terrorist organizations including al Quaeda,

in community swimming pools to maintain chemical balance,

by software engineers, including those producing DICOM software SDKs,

in animal research laboratories, and

in pesticide production and distribution.

What you may find surprising are some of the products and places where DHMO is used, but which for one reason or another, are not normally made part of public presentations on the dangers to the lives of our family members and friends. Among these startling uses are:

in cough medicines and other liquid pharmaceuticals,

in spray-on oven cleaners,

in shampoos, shaving creams, deodorants and numerous other bathroom products,

in bathtub bubble products marketed to children,

as a preservative in grocery store fresh produce sections,

in the production of beer by all the major beer distributors,

in the coffee available at major coffee houses in the US and abroad,

in Formula One race cars, although its use is regulated by the Formula One racing Commission.

One of the most surprising facts recently revealed about Dihydrogen Monoxide contamination is in its use as a food and produce “decontaminant.” Studies have shown that even after careful washing, food and produce that has been contaminated by DHMO remains tainted by DHMO.

I’m not sure if this substance is as bad as it’s made out to be. If banning it will hurt American business and industry, I think cost-benefit studies and risk-reduction alternatives need to be discussed. It does sound pretty awful, though, and if leftists use it in their ceremonies I instinctively distrust it.

In any event, I think we need a national dialogue on the stuff. I’m sure Senator Brownback would agree. I think writing your Congressmen and asking them to open hearings on the hydrogen demonoxide (or whatever it’s called) problem is a reasonable step for the time being. No one wants Americans getting poisoned, but no one (except Communists and Islamists) wants America’s economy to fail, either. Beginning a national dialogue on a national issue is the least we can do.

UPDATE: Apparently, hydrogen demonoxide is the scientific name for water. Ha ha, jokers. This does go to show how much contempt men of “science” have for God, though. Why else would they name water after demons?

52 Comments »

  1. You forgot the intense addictive affect of DHMO – if an addict doesn’t have any, they die within 72 hours. No cure. No exceptions. As I think that I have demonstrated, I normally have a low opinion of this site, but Sisyphus is quite right here.

    Comment by interpreted — July 27, 2007 @ 10:14 am | Reply

  2. This should be a bipartisan issue, interpreted. This kind of thing affects all of us.

    Comment by Sisyphus — July 27, 2007 @ 10:26 am | Reply

  3. Too true – looking at that list of stuff … well, it’s a wonder it wasn’t found before. Still, never too late to save lives!

    Comment by interpreted — July 27, 2007 @ 10:29 am | Reply

  4. Write your Congressmen, interpreted. I’ve already written to mine.

    Comment by Sisyphus — July 27, 2007 @ 10:35 am | Reply

  5. I think hearings are half measure America and afford. All congress will do it turn it into another political football and countless thousands will die before anything is done. President Bush needs to step in NOW and issue and order banning dihydrogen monoxide in ALL uses before it kills again! We need to turn the tap on this source of evil before it causes more damage.

    Comment by BJ Tabor — July 27, 2007 @ 11:49 am | Reply

  6. I think Congress is broken. When it comes to getting things done, they’re all wet.

    Comment by Psycheout — July 27, 2007 @ 11:52 am | Reply

  7. /walks away, shaking head.

    Comment by Lyssie — July 27, 2007 @ 11:53 am | Reply

  8. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dihydrogen_monoxide

    Oh come on guys. This is a laughable attempt. I didn’t even have to read the whole thing to know what a great joke this was.

    Di means two. Mono means one.
    Dihydrogen monoxide equals 2 hydrogen atoms and one oxygen atom.

    Sound familiar? H2O? 2 Hydrogen atoms and one oxygen atom?

    I give the author of that message credit if he fooled you guys (I’m not sure that he did). Also, interpreted wins bonus points for not immediately pointing out the hilarity of this and toying with you guys. This is a bipartisan issue, however. If you want to boycott water, Sisyphus, go right ahead.
    IT’S WATER.

    Comment by Brandon Explosion — July 27, 2007 @ 11:57 am | Reply

  9. “I hope when Senator Brownback is elected to office he will ban this Liberal taint on our great nation.”

    Vote for Brownback, ban water!

    Comment by Brandon Explosion — July 27, 2007 @ 12:06 pm | Reply

  10. This is the only funny thing you guys have ever done.

    Comment by Brandon Explosion — July 27, 2007 @ 12:08 pm | Reply

  11. It’s also used in the occult rite of Baptism.

    Comment by Bob Baffet — July 27, 2007 @ 12:47 pm | Reply

  12. *laughs… just laughs*

    Comment by Curiouser and Curiouser — July 27, 2007 @ 12:48 pm | Reply

  13. Oh come on, guys. Can’t you see that Sisyphus and Psycheout were just pulling your collective leg? Look at Psycheout’s comment #6, for the love of Mike!

    You folks are waaaayyyy too serious.

    Comment by Lyssie — July 27, 2007 @ 12:53 pm | Reply

  14. I know. That’s why I said this is the only funny thing they’ve ever done.

    Comment by Brandon Explosion — July 27, 2007 @ 1:08 pm | Reply

  15. See, this is the kind of post you guys can’t make if you want to pretend you’re not a parody.

    Comment by Salmo — July 27, 2007 @ 1:35 pm | Reply

  16. Bradon,
    Really, what is your problem? Are you terminally dull in the head or something? People are dying here and you think it is a joke.

    Comment by BJ Tabor — July 27, 2007 @ 1:41 pm | Reply

  17. BJ,
    … AAAh hahahaha!!

    DIhydrogen MONoxide? Two Hs and one O? H20?? WATER!

    My God, man, this blog is so funny.

    Comment by Adam Nelson — July 27, 2007 @ 1:55 pm | Reply

  18. See, this is the kind of post you guys can’t make if you want to pretend you’re not a parody.

    See, this is the kind of comment you cannot make if you want to pretend you’re not a moron. Moron.

    Comment by Psycheout — July 27, 2007 @ 1:58 pm | Reply

  19. Psycheout, why so hostile? And above all, what’s the point of this post? All you did was prove that BJ is an idiot.

    Comment by Adam Nelson — July 27, 2007 @ 2:04 pm | Reply

  20. Hostility is his reaction when things don’t go exactly as he planned I guess.

    And Psycheout, for this comment
    “See, this is the kind of comment you cannot make if you want to pretend you’re not a moron. Moron.”

    you win the 2007 Best Comeback Ever of the Year Award! Congratulations! Will you never tire of making yourself, your friends, and Brownback supporters every seem foolish.

    Comment by Brandon Explosion — July 27, 2007 @ 2:24 pm | Reply

  21. I invite all Blogs4Brownback readers to speak up and make your oppinions heard on this topic.

    Comment by Brandon Explosion — July 27, 2007 @ 2:25 pm | Reply

  22. Psycheout, I want to know why you made this post. Was it to make “liberals” look bad? If so, your experiment went completely in the other direction.

    Comment by Adam Nelson — July 27, 2007 @ 2:37 pm | Reply

  23. you win the 2007 Best Comeback Ever of the Year Award! Congratulations!

    Thank you. I thought it was pretty witty too.

    Comment by Psycheout — July 27, 2007 @ 2:38 pm | Reply

  24. Will you never tire of making yourself, your friends, and Brownback supporters every seem foolish.

    I think Brandon you and Adam have us beat hands down there.

    Comment by BJ Tabor — July 27, 2007 @ 2:40 pm | Reply

  25. You STILL haven’t explained the purpose of this post.

    Comment by Adam Nelson — July 27, 2007 @ 2:58 pm | Reply

  26. Amen BJ!

    Comment by Mrs. T.D. Gaines-Crockett — July 27, 2007 @ 3:00 pm | Reply

  27. You still haven’t figured out who wrote the post. If you had you wouldn’t be asking me why I posted it, Adam.

    Comment by Psycheout — July 27, 2007 @ 3:06 pm | Reply

  28. Adam, are you as much fun to talk to in real life as you are online? I’m just asking.

    Comment by Sisyphus — July 27, 2007 @ 3:22 pm | Reply

  29. So funny !!!

    Most of Brownback’s forums are full of pranksters and satirists.

    I was hoping he had a chance, I always root for the flat-earthers and other honest GOP critters…

    Comment by biphenylene — July 27, 2007 @ 4:01 pm | Reply

  30. LOL, I know, this blog is hilarious! You’ve got the full range of characters: Gaines-Crockett, the evil totalitarian; BJ, the patsy; Sisyphus, the ringleader; and Psycheout, the double-agent. They should make a TV show! Kinda like 24, where they save the world from a dihydrogen monoxide explosion!

    Comment by Adam Nelson — July 27, 2007 @ 5:59 pm | Reply

  31. Is patsy kind of like cheerleader? Because that’s exactly what BJ is. And don’t forget Happy Clam. This is pretty much self-explanatory.

    “I’d really like to see Browback on top of Mitt Rommney.”
    “I like to see a man packing a big gun who is not afraid to shoot it off.”

    Comment by Brandon Explosion — July 27, 2007 @ 7:09 pm | Reply

  32. Never realized how appropriate Sisyphus’s name was.

    Comment by Brandon Explosion — July 27, 2007 @ 7:10 pm | Reply

  33. Lyssie is the only remotely reasonable one here. I’d like to hear more of what she has to say. It’s just to bad she has to compensate for the other four’s ridiculousness.

    Comment by Brandon Explosion — July 27, 2007 @ 7:16 pm | Reply

  34. I’m sure that Lyssie would appreciate that. But, sadly, coming from you it ain’t worth much.

    Comment by Psycheout — July 27, 2007 @ 7:24 pm | Reply

  35. Not that I am admitting to anything but if you’re little nonsense theory is correct what dose that make you two in this blog?

    Give me a “S”

    Comment by BJ Tabor — July 27, 2007 @ 7:26 pm | Reply

  36. BJ you should clarify what you’re talking about.

    “Apparently, hydrogen demonoxide is the scientific name for water. Ha ha, jokers. This does go to show how much contempt men of “science” have for God, though. Why else would they name water after demons?”

    A google search for hydrogen demonoxide reveals only one result. This webpage. If hydrogen demonoxide is a scientific name for water, then you’re the only one who knows about it on the entire internet Sisyphus. Which is pretty unlikely. Nice try, thanks for playing though!

    Comment by Brandon Explosion — July 27, 2007 @ 7:31 pm | Reply

  37. Google search for hydrogen demonoxide

    [Ed Note: Please embed your links.]

    Comment by Brandon Explosion — July 27, 2007 @ 7:32 pm | Reply

  38. Lyssie is the only remotely reasonable one here. I’d like to hear more of what she has to say. It’s just to bad she has to compensate for the other four’s ridiculousness.

    “Remotely reasonable”. Boy, you really know how to flatter a girl.🙂 I do appreciate the sentiment however. Unfortunately, I can only be around so much, as I’ve not yet perfected the art of typing while nursing. (Far be it from me to question God’s creation, but I do sometimes wish he’d seen fit to equip women with an additional set of hands…)

    Comment by Lyssie — July 27, 2007 @ 7:38 pm | Reply

  39. This blog makes me laugh. Woot ban water woot! Just wish they admit this is a joke and get it over with.

    Comment by Lazarus — July 27, 2007 @ 7:56 pm | Reply

  40. I’m a long time reader, first time poster. Sam Brownback is my favorite Senator, and I really wish I lived in Iowa so I could vote for him come primary time.

    Anyway, like all the other posts here, I found it very informative. I’ll be sure to keep my family as far away from dihydrogen monoxide.

    Comment by Archangel Michael — July 27, 2007 @ 8:43 pm | Reply

  41. Welcome, Michael! There’s a lot of you lurkers out there. It’s time to delurk. Ames approacheth.

    Comment by Psycheout — July 27, 2007 @ 8:46 pm | Reply

  42. Please someone give me a ray of hope and say this particular blog post is a humorous story to lighten our days. Please before I die of too much laughter mixed with sever brain injury due to banging my head against my desk.

    Comment by Lazarus — July 27, 2007 @ 9:55 pm | Reply

  43. [Ed Note: Please embed your links.]

    Don’t know how.

    “I’ll be sure to keep my family as far away from dihydrogen monoxide.”

    That’s cruel.

    [Ed Note: You embed links like this:
    <a href=”http://whatever.com/something.html”>Something from Whatever</a>
    ]

    Comment by Brandon Explosion — July 28, 2007 @ 12:01 am | Reply

  44. I’m personally of the opinion that Sisyphus was sending us a message without blowing his cover. Still, I’ll play along …

    Comment by interpreted — July 28, 2007 @ 5:45 am | Reply

  45. Dear Interpreted,

    I most assure you that neither Sisyphus nor Psycheout will ever be caught blowing anything. They are highly educated, articulate, Godly men who do not mince words or swords. What they say you can accept with 100% assurance of authenticity and that is a fact.

    Comment by Mrs. T.D. Gaines-Crockett — July 28, 2007 @ 6:54 am | Reply

  46. BJ you should clarify what you’re talking about

    How? It is just been said you and Adam twenty ways tell next Sunday and it still doesn’t sink in. Brandon, I need change; do you have two tens for a five?

    Give me a U

    Comment by BJ Tabor — July 28, 2007 @ 8:14 am | Reply

  47. Ok but BJ…no one cares.

    Comment by Brandon Explosion — July 28, 2007 @ 12:31 pm | Reply

  48. Wow, this whole site is hilarious. Well, Gaines-Crockett, I would be the first person to keep you away from dihydrogen monoxide!

    Comment by Adam Nelson — July 29, 2007 @ 10:14 am | Reply

  49. Yep she might melt.

    Comment by Lazarus — July 29, 2007 @ 3:35 pm | Reply

  50. At one of our prayer meetings down here, some covert liberal spiked the punch with Dihydrogen Monoxide. We attribute this event to Rev. Haggard’s behavior — note the similarity of its chemical structure to male genetalia. When Sam B appoints his FDA chairperson, I’m sure we will rid this nation of this leftist substance.

    DR. JAMES HOBSON
    Director, Focus on the Feral

    Comment by DR. JAMES HOBSON — July 30, 2007 @ 1:37 pm | Reply

  51. I am glad to see such a meeting of the minds on this issue! At least we can all agree on one thing: water is dangerous!
    I like how the liberals initially poke fun at the conservatives, but you all come out looking desperately aggressive. Dorks like you are ruining our country.

    Comment by Samaritan — August 2, 2007 @ 5:34 pm | Reply

  52. See, you can get angry about anything, if put in the right context. Now, stop acting like a sheep. The media twists the facts.

    Comment by Bob — November 25, 2007 @ 12:39 pm | Reply


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