Awhile back, I remember reading about how one of Fred’s many past conquests described Hollywood Fred as “a soft place to lay.” That struck me as a little funny, but an endorsement is an endorsement. There’s nothing quite like the harlot vote. (It worked for Billy Jeff Clinton, after all.)
As lazy Freddie has procrastinated beyond Labor Day to get around to eventually announcing his candidacy and proclaiming himself the savior of the conservative movement, I thought this would be a great time to flash back and reflect. Also, it’s a Saturday night, so a fluff piece is in order.
The subtitle to this article about the wrinkled old prune and grizzled actor is hilarious: “Presidential hopeful Fred Thompson is labelled by former flames as a charmer who could bring home the female vote.” Heh, good luck with that, you ugly old dude!
In the battle for the women’s vote, Fred Thompson has a secret weapon against Hillary Clinton – the legions of former girlfriends who still adore him and who want him to be president.
Wrinkled old lesbian that she is, she’s probably jealous!
The Hollywood actor and former Tennessee senator racked up an impressive list of conquests during his swinging bachelor days in the 1990s, but he appears to have achieved the impossible and kept their friendship and respect.
Awesome. Let’s hear it for the fornicator-in-chief!
Lorrie Morgan, a country singer who dated Thompson and considered marrying him in the mid 1990s, told The Sunday Times: “I couldn’t think of a bad word to say about Fred if somebody put a gun to my head.”
Kinky Lorrie, who obviously has vision problems, also declared old man Fred to be “every woman’s fantasy.” Wow. Not any women that I know, but then they’re decent Christian women and not slutty groupies who’d fornicate with anybody with a little jingle in their jeans.
“I think he has a great chance of capturing the women’s vote. He’s majestic. He’s a soft, safe place to be and that could be Fred’s ticket. Women love a soft place to lay and a strong pair of hands to hold us,” she said.
Excuse me while I vomit. I am starting to regret reading this article. As are most of you, I suspect. Thanks for reminding us that Freddie is husky, Lorrie. But I don’t want to envision anyone snuggling up to the plump and grizzled old dude.
Some Republican fundraising floozey added:
“Another thing that is extremely attractive about Fred is that he is a really good listener. As a woman you can talk to Fred about any subject and know that you’re getting someone who respects your opinion and isn’t just being polite.”
When asked for a comment on this, Fred Thompson’s reply was “Zzzzzzz.” When he finally awoke, he screamed: “Fix my damn breakfast, woman!”
Of course Hollywood Fred, the wannabe gigalo, regrets his days of hopping in and out of every bed that would take him in. Right?
“I was single for a long time and yep I chased a lot of women,” Thompson told them with a grin. “And a lot of women chased me. And those who chased me tended to catch me.”
Translation: I’m a male slut and proud of it.
There’s so many hussies quoted in this article it will make your head spin. If you thought Clinton was bad, just wait until Hollywood Fred gets his grubby hands on the Lincoln bedroom. Orgies in the White House? Not under a President Brownback.
A parting quote to get you to read the whole thing:
Joe Scarborough, a television presenter, was recently pilloried for wondering on air whether Thompson’s wife “works the pole.”
That is thoroughly disgusting. Okay, just one more:
Thompson not only charmed her but also the women in her family. At the time, she had two young daughters who are now in their twenties.
Now that’s gross. And this man is courting social conservatives? This so-con will not be charmed by Fred! the fornicating pretender. Frankly, he disgusts me.
Think about it. Could you pull the lever for this guy? A lot of women already have. Will you be next? Not me.
Update: Two days later, The New York Times blog flashes back too. B4B really is cutting edge. Even The Times follows in our footsteps!