Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the prettiest one of all? Move over Breck Girl, with your cute $1300 haircut. Macho-man Mitt needs some room in front of the makeup mirror, so scooch over. He’s got a hot date with those picky GOP primary voters and he wants to look and feel his very best. Because if he doesn’t look and feel fresh, people might actually examine his record instead of swooning over the Taxachusetts hunk, with his perfect hair and boyish face.
So what’s this all about? Why, GOP heartthrob Mitt Romney’s getting a makeover, of course! How fun! Let’s get some of the juicy details:
Well, “communications consulting” is how presidential candidate Mitt Romney recorded $300 in payments to a California company that describes itself as “a mobile beauty team for hair, makeup and men’s grooming and spa services.”
Oh, do tell. Tell us more, Stacey.
“He’s already tan,” she said. “We basically put a drop of foundation on him … and we powdered him a little bit.”
Oh, isn’t that precious? Isn’t that sweet? Isn’t that fun? Now that’s what we need in a President: a guy who only needs a little foundation and just a smidgen of pretty powder. At least it won’t take him hours for him to put on his face before he tells the terrorists he means business. If they don’t comply, he can always give them a mean ol’ pinch.
Personally, I don’t know why he bothers. Willard “Mittens” Romney is cute as a button, just the way he is. And that’s why we like him.
Update: Can’t get enough of Mitt? There’s so much more!