The Brownback for President Campaign announced today it is officially proposing a new word be added to Webster’s Dictionary: “Mitt-amorphasis.”
Hmmm, I hate to be critical already, but I think the proper spelling would be “Mitt-amorphosis.” But let’s move on to the definition.
1. (v) A self-directed and self-contradictory cyclical process, occurring in even-numbered years, by which a Massachusetts politician transforms at will.
2. (v) The evolutionary process by which a member of the species homosapiens becomes a dolphin.
3. (v) The synchronized revolution at any given point in time consistent with the changing political winds
Not bad, but I take exception to usage example 3:
3. The mitt-amorphasizing agent caused the politician to grow gills and flippers.
Ah yes, but “Flipper” was a bottlenose dolphin and I thought these creatures had lungs, not gills. I’ll leave it up to B4B Science Correspondent Sisyphus to verify this. I’m just going by what I remember from school. I may have heard this in public school. If so, the information is likely suspect.
The antonyms are listed as: consistent, principled. This would suggest that Senator Brownback is the opposite of Mitt-amorphasis (obviously the antithesis of Mitt Romney), but it’s a little confusing since the proposed word appears to be a
noun verb, so how can the antonym be an adjective?
Perhaps they’re just in the brainstorming phase. It’s a good idea, but I think it needs some work before being submitted for addition to the dictionary.
Fortunately, as President, Sam won’t be spending much time devising new words, but he will be charting a new way forward. And that’s what really matters.
Update: I should read a little closer. I wrote noun when the definition clearly shows verb. Still it doesn’t change the basic point, which I think is correct.
Update 2: Perhaps Mitt-amorphosis was already taken.
Update 3: I just want to make clear that I think honesty is the best policy. If I think a campaign move or a policy is ill-advised, I’ll say so. I think this was a silly move by the Brownback campaign although its significance is near zero; the negative effect is nil. This was an official press release for G-d’s sake!
In case anyone from the campaign is reading this (and we know that you are), please please please vet your press releases more carefully. This was a silly and unnecessary thing to do. We at B4B want nothing more than for Sam Brownback, the honorable Senator from Kansas, to get the GOP nomination and we hate to see any missteps, however small. Otherwise, keep up the great work. We’re pulling for you!