Blogs 4 Brownback

June 6, 2007

The Joy of Separation

By now, most of you have probably heard about Senator Brownback’s plan to separate the squabbling Iraqi children. 

“…We’ve got to put forward now a political plan,” Brownback said. “It’s about getting the situation to a point that we can turn it over to Iraqis and then us pull back from the front of the line. That’s why I’m putting forward tomorrow a bill — and this would be about a three-state solution in Iraq — a Kurdish state, a Sunni state, a Shi’a state — with Baghdad as the federal city, in a loose, weak, federated system, oil revenues equally divided, and it’s a bipartisan bill. We will have bipartisan support. We’ve got to pull together here to win over there.”

I, for one, wholeheartedly endorse such an endeavor. Doing this will defang the coiled Iraqi serpent for ever. It will reward our gallant Kurdish allies, while punishing the greedy, selfish, unspeakably fanatical Shiites. The Sunnis will attain power in their sphere without the accompanying war of genocidal extermination so many liberals had been whining about for so long. What’s to lose?

I realize that Turkey might look askance at a nascent Kurdish state. Then again, so would Iran; and if angering a friend is what it takes to anger an enemy, I’m all for it. Moreover, Turkey wants admission to the EU more than anything else on Earth; another invasion of Kurdistan will do wonders for ensuring that their Thracian province fails to win them membership. Forced to choose between their Kurdish area, which wins them a separatist guerrilla war, and their Thracian area, which wins them EU membership, I think Turkey will make the sensible decision.

I realize that not everyone will approve of this plan. Those with an interest in ongoing violence, such as Baathists, Qaedists, and Americans who profit from taking anti-war positions will likely oppose it. To them, I think we should all say, “You are the enemy. You hate America, you hate Iraq, and you hate freedom. We will not listen to your proposals or your plans. Go away.” Our task is to move forward, not appease dead-enders. Freedom is coming to the people of Iraq. And freedom is coming to the people of the Middle East.

UPDATE: The Turks have invaded Kurdistan.

Several thousand Turkish troops crossed into northern Iraq early Wednesday to chase Kurdish guerrillas who attack Turkey from bases there, two Turkish security officials said. Turkey’s foreign minister denied its troops had entered Iraq.

Two senior security officials, speaking on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to talk to the media, characterized the action as a “hot pursuit” raid that was limited in scope. They told The Associated Press it did not constitute the kind of large incursion that Turkish leaders have been discussing in recent weeks as Turkish troops built up their force along the border.

Excellent news- Turkey has finally joined the Coalition of the Willing, and is going to contribute troops to the occupation. They should be helpful in overseeing the partition of the country.

Everything is going according to plan. Now, all we need is the Iranians to try and invade Kurdistan, and we have a cassus bellie. We’ll clobber them from the Shat-al-Arab to Herat! Turkey will inherit the northwestern portions of Iran, Kurdistan the Kurdish portions, the Shiite Iraqis the Shat-al-Arab, and the rest will be liberated and finally get to taste freedom!

28 Comments »

  1. Liberals, please spare us your foul language, your media bias, your weak surrender-happy appeasement. Spare us your “concern” for “human rights”, your contempt for traditional, heartland values, your championing of the inferior, your hatred of both Bush and God. We are not listening. The world is, however, and your whining makes us appear weak. You must therefore shut up.

    Comment by David Patterson — June 6, 2007 @ 5:41 am | Reply

  2. I agree completely. We must bow down to Christ’s candidate – Sam Brownback – for his heroic co-opting of the plan Joe Biden has been advocating for 3 years. As for the cowardly liberals who have been making this point for years and years and years (in fact, well before the war began), they need to attend daily services to learn the power of reason so that they stop using “facts,” “hisotry,” and “experience” as the basis for their “arguments” against the word of Christ. My only problem with Sam’s brilliant reasoning and civil language here, is that this plan might prevent us from torturing more Muslims.

    Comment by St. Legalize — June 6, 2007 @ 6:56 am | Reply

  3. I had an unemployed friend who was looking for a job. I said, half joking, that the anti-war folks all seem to be profiting. Next thing I know, George Soros is on his speed dial and he’s putting a bid in for the biggest house on the street.
    We’re no longer friends though because he sold his soul to the devil for material wealth and he’s going to hell.

    I think President Bush made a mistake when he said Iraq was a sovereign country. They obviously aren’t while we have dominion over them. First thing President Brownback will have to do is say America was joking about the whole sovereignty thing and then unilaterally decree the country is breaking into three areas. Though I think the three areas should be Sunni, Kurd, and Oil. The Shia can go to Iran – we’ll take care of them there with some air dropped gifts.

    Comment by carsick — June 6, 2007 @ 7:36 am | Reply

  4. What’s sad is that we gave them freedom and they repay us with grief.

    How sharper than a serpent’s tooth it is to have a thankless child.

    Comment by Jeff Davis — June 6, 2007 @ 7:42 am | Reply

  5. I like Turkey. They’re all muslims, but they all hate islam, which is almost as good as being Christians.

    St. Legalize @ 2:

    I don’t approve of torture. If we have to use enhanced interrogation techniques, that’s fine, but no torture.

    Comment by DPS — June 6, 2007 @ 9:50 am | Reply

  6. This would work if it wasn’t for the rest of the Middle East:

    Kurdistan will be invaded and occupied by Turkey, the Shiite state will join either Syria or Iran and for the Sunni state, well, all options are open…

    Comment by Skeptic — June 6, 2007 @ 10:20 am | Reply

  7. “We’re no longer friends though because he sold his soul to the devil for material wealth and he’s going to hell.”

    You did the right thing, cutting him off. Love the sinner, but hate the sin.

    “How sharper than a serpent’s tooth it is to have a thankless child.”

    Amen.

    Comment by Sisyphus — June 6, 2007 @ 10:21 am | Reply

  8. DPS, let’s not be PC about it. “Enhanced interrogation techniques” are merely code words for what the liberals and Europeans used to call “torture” anyway. Sam was courageous and powerful enough to blur this distinction just enough to make what NEEDS to be done sound more palatable to Christian-Americans (the only people who matter). This is the case because the world of Christ demands that non-believers (especially Muslims and vegetarians) MUST be tortured in order to protect America. The brilliant television program (the only one I let my children watch in between their home-school lessons) “24” has this point exactly correct. My wife believes that this show is the direct word of God; normally I do not permit her to express her opinions, but I think in this instance she is correct.

    Comment by St. Legalize — June 6, 2007 @ 10:36 am | Reply

  9. St. Legalize @ 8:

    ‘“Enhanced interrogation techniques” are merely code words for what the liberals and Europeans used to call “torture” anyway.’

    Because America is the good guys these things aren’t torture when we do them. Torture is something the bad guys do. Therefore the only correct way to refer to our enhanced interrogation techniques is as enhanced interrogation techniques. When bad people use them, however, it’s torture. And that all seems about right to me.

    Comment by DPS — June 6, 2007 @ 10:50 am | Reply

  10. “My wife believes that this show is the direct word of God; normally I do not permit her to express her opinions, but I think in this instance she is correct.”

    I admire your family values very much. My wife, also, knows her place.

    Comment by Sisyphus — June 6, 2007 @ 11:32 am | Reply

  11. Blogs 4 Brownback

    Ok, I am pretty sure this is satire, but even if it isn’t, it’s still hilarious. Case in point

    Trackback by Dean's World — June 6, 2007 @ 12:20 pm | Reply

  12. “Ok, I am pretty sure this is satire, but even if it isn’t, it’s still hilarious. Case in point”

    This shows you how sick and twisted the left is they think the honest thoughts of good Americans are a joke. Shouldn’t you join your’ commie buddies in Vermont Dean?

    Comment by BJ Tabor — June 6, 2007 @ 3:49 pm | Reply

  13. WE NEED TO NUKE THESE IRAQIS ITS THE ONLY WAY TOO SOHW TEHM WHOSE BNOSS!!!!

    I LOVE BROWNABCK!!!! VOTE BROWNABCK!!! BOTE BROWNAJCK!!

    Comment by Jack Fremont — June 6, 2007 @ 3:59 pm | Reply

  14. I do love how you guys never break the “Fourth Wall” of this satirical alternate universe you’ve created. Very nice.

    Comment by Aikofan — June 6, 2007 @ 4:27 pm | Reply

  15. “I do love how you guys never break the “Fourth Wall” of this satirical alternate universe you’ve created. Very nice.”

    I love how you libtards and hippies have decided that everyone who sincerely embraces traditional values has to be a satirist. What a warped view of the world.

    Comment by DPS — June 6, 2007 @ 4:53 pm | Reply

  16. “I admire your family values very much. My wife, also, knows her place.”

    In civilized countries they’d put you into jail for whatever it is you use to teach her her place.

    To mrs. Sysiphus: divorce this sick abusive bastard and get a man with more than 3 braincells!

    Comment by Skeptic — June 6, 2007 @ 5:05 pm | Reply

  17. oh so Brownback is now endorsing the Joe Biden plan.

    Comment by just wonderin — June 6, 2007 @ 6:31 pm | Reply

  18. It appears the lunatic fringe, the liberals, have fallen even further than I’d imagined. They have drifted so far from the moorings that they can no longer understand words and meanings. Satire? Yeah, and the Battle of the Bulge was just Michael Moore’s documentary about his teenage years. I might as well be writing ilhweqbrfv iufeh jshb as far as their understanding apparently allows.
    It’s time we pass an amendment (doubtful with all the hallucinating liberals in congress), or, more likely, a presidential order declaring that the liberals no longer have the mental capacity to make out a will, let alone vote responsibly. It wouldn’t be oppression or censorship. Someone needs to take care of the crazy aunt. Liberals have become our crazy aunt.

    Comment by carsick — June 6, 2007 @ 8:38 pm | Reply

  19. Funny to see you lose a good word about the Sunnis. Wasn´t Saddam a sunni?

    Erm, and first you don´t want them in the Kurds area and then you think it´s good they got down there? Decide.

    Turkey is btw not member of this coalition of the willing. (Funny that it takes members without a military. :)) They just hunted down some stupid guerillas and went back into their own borders.

    @carsick: They won´t go anywhere, you know. Except blowing up more humvees and snipering more US soldiers that is.

    And I thinkm it´s time to pass an admendement that declares all republicans not to have the mental capacity to make out a will, let alone vote responsibly. They´re clearly out of their mind for almost 8 years by now.

    Comment by PG — June 7, 2007 @ 6:05 am | Reply

  20. PG
    “They won´t go anywhere, you know. Except blowing up more humvees and snipering more US soldiers that is.”

    That is my fear too. The liberals will continue to blow up more humvees and sniper more US soldiers. We must stop them at all costs. America’s future, True America’s future, hangs in the balance.

    Comment by carsick — June 7, 2007 @ 9:24 am | Reply

  21. “That is my fear too. The liberals will continue to blow up more humvees and sniper more US soldiers. We must stop them at all costs. America’s future, True America’s future, hangs in the balance.”

    Are you sure? cause you need scientists and engineers to build new ones, or are you just gonna pray until humvees come falling down from the skies?

    Comment by Skeptic — June 7, 2007 @ 10:43 am | Reply

  22. Skeptic
    You don’t need astronomers and evolutionists to design and build humvees. That’s silly.

    Comment by carsick — June 7, 2007 @ 11:41 am | Reply

  23. We don’t need liberals to build us Humvees. What kind of ridiculous nonsense is that? American workers, American patriots all, can easily design and build such a vehicle.

    Comment by Sisyphus — June 7, 2007 @ 1:37 pm | Reply

  24. Sisyphus
    I must disagree with the assumption that astronomers and evolutionists are American patriots. They may live here and work here but they work to undermine True America. I wouldn’t be adverse to them crushing rocks for new roadways but I wouldn’t trust them with the important equipment needed by our soldiers … even latrines.

    Comment by carsick — June 7, 2007 @ 3:45 pm | Reply

  25. I heard this incursion didn’t actually happen. It’s a shame, really. Turkey would have made an excellent ally in keeping the Iraqis in line.

    Comment by Marcia P. — June 7, 2007 @ 3:58 pm | Reply

  26. Sysyphus
    I misread your comment. We are in agreement. My mistake.

    Comment by carsick — June 7, 2007 @ 7:11 pm | Reply

  27. “We don’t need liberals to build us Humvees. What kind of ridiculous nonsense is that? American workers, American patriots all, can easily design and build such a vehicle.”

    Yeah, I’m sure there’s a chapter in the Bible on maintaining laserguided welding robots.

    Comment by Skeptic — June 8, 2007 @ 9:46 am | Reply

  28. That is my fear too. The liberals will continue to blow up more humvees and sniper more US soldiers. We must stop them at all costs. America’s future, True America’s future, hangs in the balance.

    They are the Iraquis. I doubt that any liberal politician would know how to handle explosives. Or being an adept at the skills of sniping.

    We don’t need liberals to build us Humvees. What kind of ridiculous nonsense is that? American workers, American patriots all, can easily design and build such a vehicle.

    So that´s why half the gear of your army is made by foreign companies, eh?

    Comment by PG — June 8, 2007 @ 11:52 am | Reply


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