Open Thread

June 2, 2007

Open Thread

Filed under: Open Thread — Sisyphus @ 5:08 am

Whom do you think President Brownback should appoint to his Cabinet? Discuss that, or whatever.

Comments (37)

37 Comments »

What use is a Cabinet when you have the Bible for guidance?

Comment by Curious — June 2, 2007 @ 5:27 am | Reply
The Constitution says he has to appoint one, so there it is.

Comment by Sisyphus — June 2, 2007 @ 5:29 am | Reply
The Bible doesn’t say we have to have a constitution. At the very least, it tells us we should change it to a more biblical orientation if we drift away from it.

Comment by Gary Ruppert — June 2, 2007 @ 6:35 am | Reply
I would like to see Pat Robertson made the head of the Department Of Faith.

Comment by Gary Ruppert — June 2, 2007 @ 6:36 am | Reply
I think Fred Phelps should be made head of the Department of Homeland Security. He knows the real dangers to this country, and he knows how to deal with them correctly. I don’t approve of everything he does, but I approve of the reasons why he does them.

Comment by Marcia P. — June 2, 2007 @ 8:39 am | Reply
Bolton at State, Doug Feith at DoD, Santorum at DoJ. Then we’d see some things really start to happen.

Comment by DPS — June 2, 2007 @ 10:10 am | Reply
can we dig up reagan?

ann coulter in charge of the Ministry of Peace

all of halliburton in charge of Ministry of Plenty

put bill o’reilly in charge of the Ministry of Truth

and jesus in charge of the Ministry of Love

Comment by honkey magoo — June 2, 2007 @ 10:15 am | Reply
Those are all very, very good suggestions. I’d also recommend Wolfowitz as NSC head, and Ted Haggard at Health and Human Services. Boykin should be brought out of retirement and made head of the JSC.

Comment by Sisyphus — June 2, 2007 @ 10:16 am | Reply
Those aren’t real offices, Mr. Magoo.

Comment by Sisyphus — June 2, 2007 @ 10:25 am | Reply
“and jesus in charge of the Ministry of Love”
Comment by honkey magoo

Bush was kind enough to put his mexican help in charge of the justice department and the racist treefrogs are visciously attacking him for it. President Brownback should limit his cabinet to real Americans.

Comment by ec1009 — June 2, 2007 @ 10:52 am | Reply
I know honkey magoo was trying to make a joke (those are stupid names for cabinet departments, by the way) but I wonder if Bill O’Reilly would serve as White House spokesman. Kind of like Tony Snow, but with a little more zip.

Comment by DPS — June 2, 2007 @ 10:55 am | Reply
Jesus IS American

Comment by DPS — June 2, 2007 @ 10:55 am | Reply
We are under attack!

Brownback Alarmed by Tenure Denial in Iowa “Such an assault on academic freedom does not bode well for the advancement of true science.” U.S. Senator Sam Brownback, Republican candidate for President, today commented on the denial of tenure to Iowa State University Professor Guillermo Gonzales. “When I was informed that Professor Guillermo Gonzalez was denied tenure, I was puzzled given his excellent academic record of achievement and faithful service.”

I think Brownback should appoint him to head NASA or any other position.

Comment by ec1009 — June 2, 2007 @ 11:14 am | Reply
IN THE HEARTLAND WE KNOW HOW IT IS AND HOW IT WILL BE,THE LIBERALS AND ECOFASHISTS ARE NOT THE BOSS OF US,GOD IS THE BOSS AND BROWNBACK KNOWS THIS,IF YOU VOTE FOR ANYONE ELSE YOU MIGHT BE A LIBERAL SIMP,AND HATE USA

Comment by All American USA — June 2, 2007 @ 11:17 am | Reply
I believe that strength is the fuel of liberty, and that sometimes good people must make sacrifices. Those who will not are liberal whiners, they do not have the guts to do what is needed. If you think brownshirt is a perjorative, you are wrong. I am a proud digital brownshirt!

http://digital-brownshirt.blogspot.com/

Comment by Brownshirts For BrownBACK geddit? — June 2, 2007 @ 11:21 am | Reply
IN THE HEARTLAND WE KNOW HOW IT IS AND HOW IT WILL BE,THE LIBERALS AND ECOFASHISTS ARE NOT THE BOSS OF US,GOD IS THE BOSS AND BROWNBACK KNOWS THIS,IF YOU VOTE FOR ANYONE ELSE YOU MIGHT BE A LIBERAL SIMP,AND HATE USA

Comment by All American USA — June 2, 2007 @ 11:22 am | Reply
Jesus (gee-thus) is American obviously but jesus (hey-soos) is mexican. I thought mr. magoo wanted a wetback in Brownback’s cabinet.

By the way, Professor Gonzalez is not really mexican. His original name was James Fluffernutter. He changed it for affirmative action reasons.

Comment by ec1009 — June 2, 2007 @ 11:25 am | Reply
Here is the entire article from the Brownback website.

Brownback Alarmed by Tenure Denial in Iowa

“Such an assault on academic freedom does not bode well for the advancement of true science.”

DES MOINES, Ia— U.S. Senator Sam Brownback, Republican candidate for President, today commented on the denial of tenure to Iowa State University Professor Guillermo Gonzales.

“When I was informed that Professor Guillermo Gonzalez was denied tenure, I was puzzled given his excellent academic record of achievement and faithful service. I understand that now two of Dr. Gonzalez’s colleagues have indicated that Gonzalez’s interest in intelligent design theory was, at least in part, responsible for this denial of tenure. This is rather alarming.”

Dr. Guillermo Gonzalez is currently an Assistant Professor of Astronomy at Iowa State University, and has authored more than 65 scientific papers and articles. Dr. Gonzalez developed the concept of the Galactic Habitable Zone and co-authored “The Privileged Planet: How Our Place in the Cosmos is Designed for Discovery, which was published in 2004.” The Privileged Planet provides scientific evidence for intelligent design theory, which challenges neo-Darwinism’s claim that the development of the universe is the result of an unpredictable and purposeless process. Intelligent design theory rather explores recent discoveries in the fields of physics, cosmology, biochemistry, genetics, and paleontology that logically point to an intelligent cause in the development of life and the cosmos.

Brownback continued, “Observation, testing, and the development of reasonable hypotheses have long been integral to good science. Scholars, such as Professor Guillermo Gonzales, ought not to be intimidated nor silenced by those in the academic community who would rather dismiss a well-reasoned hypothesis than debate it on its merits. Such an assault on academic freedom does not bode well for the advancement of true science.”

Comment by ec1009 — June 2, 2007 @ 11:35 am | Reply
“I think Brownback should appoint him to head NASA or any other position.”

I think Brownback should disband NASA. But if he keeps it, Professor Gonzalez is the man to run it.

Thanks for bringing that to my attention, ec1009!

Comment by Sisyphus — June 2, 2007 @ 11:50 am | Reply
If you go to the Wikipedia Page for United States Cabinet you can see all of the Cabinet positions.

Brownback should eliminate most of these positions. A lot of them are doorways to Socialism at best and Stalinism at worst.

The offices that should cease to exist are:

Secretary of Agriculture- Since the inception of this office the family farm has all but disappeared. Traditional Conservative Rural Families are what America is built on. This office should be immediately eliminated. Without government regulation the family farm will flourish again.

Secretary of Commerce- Commerce does not need to be regulated. This office would be more aptly named the Secretary of Communism.

Secretary of Labor- Need I say more? This office has led to so many economic crises in America.

Secretary of Health and Human Service- More like Secretary of Abortions for 12 year olds.

Secretary of Housing and Development- Government Regulation from this office has led to our current housing crisis.

Secretary of Transportation- This office has regulated the motor industry right out of America.

Secretary of Energy- Look at what government regulation from this office has done to gas and electricity prices.

Secretary of Education- As a Federalist I am fine with a few states putting together a communal system that funds a state wide public schools. These will undoubtedly be failures though. Educating children is the responsibility of parents. Parents know better what their children need than the government. This office should be eliminated. Parents will then be free to home school their children or seek education in the private sector. The free market will make a superior America.

Secretary of Veterans Affairs- Ronald Reagan said the most frightening sentence in the English Language is “I’m from the government, and I’m here to help.” Leave our Veterans alone. They have been through a war and don’t need meddlesome liberals sent by the government to muck up their lives. There is a high percentage of homeless Veterans due to government regulation from this office.

The following offices need a radical overhall:

Secretary of Defense- This office needs to be changed to Secretary of War. We are at war with the entire Muslim world, over 1 billion people. We cannot afford to play defense. We need to go on the offense, just as we did when we invaded Iraq. The best defense is a good offense. For this position I would suggest L. Paul Bremer. He has the most experience with dealing with a terrorist state and is personally responsible for the Iraq success story. Another suggestion would be Donald Rumsfeld. Rumsfeld streamlined our military while doing more with it. Rumsfeld could make the war on terror much more economical.

Secretary of the Interior- This should be changed to The Secretary of Combatting UnAmerican Activities. Only one man can do this job, G. Gordon Liddy.

The following cabinet positions are basically good, but need competent people to run them:

Secretary of State- Dan Quayle.

Secretary of the Treasury- Now I know most people here think this office needs radical transformation. I would disagree. All we need is someone who will fight to put us back on the gold standard. I know of only one man who can accomplish this, William F. Buckley, Jr.

Attorney General- John Ashcroft and Alberto Gonzales have already radically transformed this position. In the Brownback Administration we will need an enforcer. Pornography is out of control in America. Turn on MTV to see how far our society has degenerated. Homosexuals and Gangs have taken over our cities. We need a serious Culture Warrior. I nominate Orrin Hatch to clean up America.

Secretary of Homeland Security- I actually think we should be bipartisan with this office. Brownback needs to show that he is not just the president of the Republican Party, but of All Americans. I think this was Bush’s greatest error (though only a small one). Former Democratic Governor and Senator Zell Miller should be appointed to this position.

As for the Cabinet-level administration offices I have a few suggestions:

Vice President of the United States- I have already made my suggestion of Tom Tancredo known here.

White House Chief of Staff- Rick Santorum.

Administrator of the Environmental Protection Agency- This entire agency regulates our nations industry to death. That is why this agency exists. The entire agency needs to be eliminated.

Director of the Office of Management and Budget- We need a Strong Fiscal Conservative and Loyal Republican in this office. Tom “The Hammer” Delay was the first person to come to mind; but after losing the congress in ’06 by allowing the Republican Majority to become infested with Liberals he has shown that he has become incompetent. I would pick Alaska Senator Ted Stevens. This man has shown absolute loyalty to the Republican Party and the Conservative Cause.

Director of the National Drug Control Policy- Right behind the War on Terror and the Culture War this is the biggest threat facing America today. Although, drugs tie prominently into the War on Terror and the Culture War. If we win this war, we may smash the other two to pieces. I suggest America’s Toughest Sheriff Joe Arpaio of Phoenix Arizona. This man has built a tent city out in the desert of Arizona to house suspects awaiting trial! That’s exactly what we need for the drug war! Ship the marijuana addicts to Gitmo with their friends the Terrorists! You can put that in your pipe and smoke it ACLU!

United States Trade Representative- I am going to go out on a limb here. I would choose Jim Gilchrist founder of the Minuteman Project, a citizen organization that fights to protect our borders. I realize that many people will be puzzled at first by this suggestion. But an important part of Trade that few people think about is illegal and foreign elements coming into our country. Gilchrist could bring his experience defending our borders to Trade. This would make for a much Safer, Healthier and Prosperous America.

I suggest also creating a new Cabinet-level Position and subsequent Department:

Administrator of the Office of Sexual Purity- My first choice was Pat Robertson, but I think we need some young blood for this massive undertaking of getting our nations youth back on track. I would like to see Ralph Reed in charge of this Department. He should immediately push for Virginity Pledges and Purity Balls in all 50 states.

And Lastly, the Level I Executive Schedule Offices of the Federal Reserve System and Social Security Administration should be eliminated. The offices and the departments that is.

Comment by Traditional Values American — June 2, 2007 @ 12:16 pm | Reply
“I think Brownback should appoint him to head NASA”

NASA is an uneccesary government institution and should be eliminated.

The only things our government should do is protect America and defend Moral Values.

With less than half the budget NASA receives yearly we could fund a Department For The Promotion Of Traditional Values.

Comment by Traditional Values American — June 2, 2007 @ 12:20 pm | Reply
“IN THE HEARTLAND WE KNOW HOW IT IS AND HOW IT WILL BE,THE LIBERALS AND ECOFASHISTS ARE NOT THE BOSS OF US,GOD IS THE BOSS AND BROWNBACK KNOWS THIS,IF YOU VOTE FOR ANYONE ELSE YOU MIGHT BE A LIBERAL SIMP,AND HATE USA”

Amen.

Comment by Sisyphus — June 2, 2007 @ 12:20 pm | Reply
Traditional Values American has many important ideas. And I couldn’t agree more about substituting Ralph Reed for Pat Robertson in the OSP.

I would be disappointed however if room could not be found somewhere for the pardoned Scooter Libby to make his triumphant comeback. Director of National Intelligence, or CIA director?

Comment by DPS — June 2, 2007 @ 12:36 pm | Reply
I would suggest Ken Hamm from the Creation Museum for Department of Energy. With his Biblically based knowledge of geology he will help us unlock vast energy resources and make us independent of those heathens in the East.

God Bless Sam!

Comment by Paul Decelles — June 2, 2007 @ 9:45 pm | Reply
honkey magoo was not joking the way you think, Sisiphus.
He was making a reference to George Orwell´s masterpiece, 1984.

Comment by PG — June 3, 2007 @ 5:46 am | Reply
“honkey magoo was not joking the way you think, Sisiphus.
He was making a reference to George Orwell´s masterpiece, 1984.”

I don’t see how we’re supposed to carry on any kind of useful conversation with honkey magoo when he can’t tell the difference between the real world and things he has read in books.

I do have to say, though, that a Department of Truth and a Department of Plenty don’t sound half bad, although I’d like to hear more about them. The ones about Peace and Love sound way too hippie, though. We already have San Francisco, and that should be enough.

Comment by DPS — June 3, 2007 @ 9:54 am | Reply
“I don’t see how we’re supposed to carry on any kind of useful conversation with honkey magoo when he can’t tell the difference between the real world and things he has read in books.”

books like the bible?

Comment by honkey magoo — June 3, 2007 @ 11:17 am | Reply
We could have a department of Good and Plenty. They could hand out those licorice candies. I liked those as a kid. Does anybody know if they still make them. If the private sector isn’t making them anymore maybe the government should pick up the slack instead of engaging in useless activity like NASA and whatever the Department of Education does.

Comment by ec1009 — June 3, 2007 @ 11:35 am | Reply
I think Pat Robertson should head the Department of Christianity. There should be a new Department, the Department of Non-Christian Affairs, that should be headed by someone committed to converting those people. That person may be General Boykin, or may be Reverend Haggard.

Comment by Marcia P. — June 3, 2007 @ 12:02 pm | Reply
ted haggard can have sex with all of the gay non-christians. that will convert them. this department can be funded by his own meth lab, that we can build on the property that we take from NASA

Comment by honkey magoo — June 3, 2007 @ 12:38 pm | Reply
Does anyone have suggestions for who should lead the following ministries?

Ministry for Public Enlightenment and Propaganda

Ministry for Weapons, Munitions, and Armament

Ministry for the Occupied Eastern Territories

Comment by Skeptic — June 3, 2007 @ 3:38 pm | Reply
honkey magoo hates Christianity, I see.

Comment by Marcia P. — June 4, 2007 @ 11:57 am | Reply
Is there also going to be a religious police to flog women who our not submissive enough?

Comment by Skeptic — June 4, 2007 @ 12:44 pm | Reply
“Ministry for Public Enlightenment and Propaganda”

Bill O’Reilly.

“Ministry for Weapons, Munitions, and Armament”

Dick Cheney.

“Ministry for the Occupied Eastern Territories”

Tommy Franks.

“Is there also going to be a religious police to flog women who our not submissive enough?”

I hope Ann Coulter heads it. She’s gorgeous! She’d be great at it, too. You definitely want a woman handling a sensitive task like this one.

Comment by Sisyphus — June 4, 2007 @ 4:11 pm | Reply
You actually want a “Ministry for Public Enlightenment and Propaganda”?

BTW, do realize that those were Nazi-ministries?

Ann Coulter had extramarital sex (those poor men), I’m sure that’s punishable by death…
Anyway, you should hire some Saudi’s for they’re expertise in this area.

Comment by Skeptic — June 5, 2007 @ 5:50 pm | Reply
I believe most of your respondents are facetious pinkos. here’s an honest set of recommendations. State – G.W. Bush – he has experience dealing with the world’s miscreants. Homeland Security – Tom Tancredo. Defense – Bob Dornan. Treasury – Grover Nordquist. HEW – Ann Coulter – time to rein the welfare frauds and the teacher’s unions. Defense – Tommy Franks.

Comment by dadaclu — June 5, 2007 @ 7:45 pm | Reply
State: Denghis Khan (who else can build empires like him?)

Treasury: Nero (obvious)

Homeland Security: Ivan The Terrible (expert in keeping the peace, by whatever means necessary)

Defense: Adolf Hitler (duh!)

Welfare/Healthcare Fraud: Vlad The Impaler (can’t argue with a guy who burned 20.000 people alive to solve the poverty problem)

Agriculture: Benito Mussolini (he’s Italian and Italian food is good)

Comment by Skeptic — June 9, 2007 @ 12:03 pm | Reply